What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
Let’s face it. For the regular six readers of this blog, I’m guessing a lot of you picture me as a Homer Simpson-ish character. Well, I don’t work at a nuclear power plant, Mrs. Dubsism does not have eight-foot tall blue hair, and you’d have to replace Homer’s love of Duff beer with some cheap-shit bourbon, but other than that, you wouldn’t be far off.
Having said that, it’s time to celebrate the season in a purely sporting manner, as you would expect from the worst sports blog you read. This year’s theme: Athletes in Santa costumes…
Since Dubsism World Headquarters are located in Indiana, how could we not start off with the pride of French Lick?
Sticking with basketball, and since Chicago and northwest Indiana are indistinguishable, why not some Luol Deng Santa action?
Speaking of Chicago, the Cubbie’s favorite second-base Hall-of-Famer got in on the act with a minor-league “Christmas in July” gag.
What better baseball Santa could you have than a guy who p;itched a perfect game while battling a hang-over? Don’t tell me most mall Santas aren’t plowed most of the time, and only David Wells could make high-tops work with a Santa suit.
Sticking with pitchers, there’s two reasons why we included former moundsman Kris Benson and his Playboy Playmate wife Anna, and Kris isn’t one of them…if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
If you’ve been a reader of Dubsism, you know J-Dub has an eyeball-bursting hatred of Tommy Lasorda. But this is the season of brotherhood, kindness, and all that other holiday bullshit, so we are forced to wish a Merry Christmas to everybody. LuolFace it, even the Grinch pussed out at the end.
Actually, we here at Dubsism wish all of you a Merry Christmas…even you, Tommy Lasorda.