We here at Dubsism are excited to bring you a new feature, an audio podcast to go along with the series of video podcast we produce. In the inaugural episode, J-Dub talks about how NFL free agency is like having a girlfriend who is jet-screaming hot, but is also bat-shit crazy. He also puts to rest some misconceptions about the Phil Jackson as president of the New York Knicks saga, and lays out a reason you’ll never get from the dick-tards at ESPN about why a Jackson return to the Los Angeles Lakers is all but impossible.
You can subscribe to and download the podcast here, as well as get information on how to participate live when Radio J-Dub is being recorded live.
Without any further fanfare, let’s just get to the stuff week one of the NFL season showed us.
1) Peyton Manning’s performance hid the fact the Broncos’ defense sucks.
If Thursday night taught us anything, it’s that the Broncos are indeed going to struggle on the defensive side of the ball. By “struggle,” we’re talking something akin to a turtle on its back getting gang-raped by a group of Hell’s Angels all to an all Kenny G soundtrack. If you consider all of the mistakes that Baltimore made offensively, the fact that Denver gave up 27 points is pretty pathetic. Ray Rice is a pretty solid “yards after contact” guy, but against the Ponies defense, he got more second chances than Robert Downey Jr.
Not to mention, we aren’t even counting the mistake made on the interception return that by all that is right in the football universe should have resulted in yet another Broncos’ touchdown. This is where Danny Trevathan had a “Honey Badger meets DeSean Jackson” level brain-fart. After making the pick, and cruising to what should have been the “pick-six” part of this, he inexplicably released the ball before he crossed the goal line in a momentary lapse of judgment reminiscent of a young DeSean Jackson. As you would hope, Denver defensive coordinator Jack Del Rio ripped Trevathan’s ass open like he was Edward Norton in the prison shower scene in American History X, because Denver can’t expect Grandpa Manning to chuck 7 touchdowns every week.
Last week, steroids were the worst thing to ever happen in the history of the sports world. Trust me, there was absolutely no hyperbole spewing from the mouths of the sports media gasbags when they were saying this. Never mind there were sandwiching the steroid conversation with talk about a guy who may have killed at least one person. Let’s be honest, it is common knowledge in the sports media world that steroids are definitely worse than murder. The disproportionate amount of coverage given to these topics bears that out.
That was until Philadelphia Eagles’ wide receiver Riley Cooper got caught on video saying the word “nigger.” In one fell swoop, racism became the worst thing ever in the history of the sports world. It was worse than killing somebody, It was worse than the systematic use of illegal drugs. That’s right, a single word became the worst thing in the history of the sports world, and I have a one-word answer for that.
Forget about the ridiculousness inherent in a bunch of reporters blowing a story completely out of proportion; they do that anyway, so it all evens out. Forget about the idea that the systematic use of performance-enhancing drugs has become as issue that threatens to mess up the integrity of just about every sport out there (Has anybody been caught juicing in curling yet?) Forget about the idea that anybody is supposed to believe that the utterance of a single word is worse than that shooting somebody in the back of the head. I’m not even going to get into the utter hypocrisy that if a white guys says “nigger,” he’s instantly somewhere between Adolf Hitler and the guy who changed the formula for Coca-Cola, and a black guy can say it with impunity (such as me exactly 24 words ago). Hell, Stephen A. Smith probably has “nigger” printed on his business card.
If you are a sports fan, you likely watch a lot of ESPN. Unless you spent the last three weeks at your time share on the dark side of the moon, you are nauseatingly aware of the situation embroiling former New England Patriot and current murder suspect Aaron Hernandez. But in the avalanche of the coverage the World Wide Bottom Feeder, there’s some really important stuff the blow-dries in Bristol would prefer you didn’t know. Of course, that is exactly why we here at Dubsism are pointing them out.
1) The only person at fault for what is happening to Aaron Hernandez is Aaron Hernandez
To understand this, you must realize that ESPN is in the business of idealizing athletes, which means nothing can ever be an athlete’s fault. Since ESPN became a cash cow by filling SportsCenter with highlights, the focus of those highlights have to stay as squeaky-clean as possible. Of course, anybody with better than 20/6,000,000 vision and a reasonably functional cerebral cortex knows that’s a pantload of the first order. That’s also happens to be the exact reason why there are millions of sports fans who lap up the swill ESPN puts out. That’s also why the omni-directional sludge pump known as ESPN has been floating the idea that somehow the fact Aaron Hernandez is footballs-deep in a murder investigation is the fault of everybody but Hernandez.
First, this was somehow Bill Belichick’s fault for drafting a guy the Patriots knew had a rail-car full of baggage coming out of the University of Florida. The fact that Hernandez was thug-a-licious all the way back clearly isn’t the fault of Emperor Palp-a-chick. But, right after they tossed that story out there, ESPN realized they’ve been sucking up to Belichick and the Patriots for the better part of the last decade. Then they figured out that convincing America that Bill Belichick was right up there with the guy driving the white Bronco was bad for business. It was at that moment they realized they need to find another scapegoat. Now, that isn’t to say that the Patriots (and specifically owner Robert Kraft) aren’t completely full of shit in the way they’ve handled this, but I will get back to that.
The next stop on the scapegoat train was former Florida coach Urban Meyer. Sure, the Gator coaching staff knew he had a track record. Sure, they knew about plenty of incidents while he was at Florida. So what? Let’s cut through he crap here. Football coaches aren’t in the business of being parole officers, social workers, or nannies. They are in the business of winning football games. There’s a precise term to define football coaches who don’t win games. It’s called “fired.”
The same applies to Belichick. Football is a “what have you done for me lately” world, which means that coaches will recruit, sign, and play Lucifer himself if he can bring wins. You don’t want to admit that, but it’s true. In other words, both Belichick and Meyer knew what they had on their hands – a guy who could help them win football games. Everything wasn’t there problem, because there is just one rule in big-time college football and the NFL. In the immortal rules of Al Davis, “Just Win, Baby.”
There’s a reason for that. The very same fan who is right now contemplating his comment to me about that “athletes are role models” bullshit is the same guy who calls sports radio shows bitching about his team’s coach. The math works like this. Football coaches are under pressure to win, and that pressure comes from fans who are every bit as tolerant of bad behavior as long as they think the bad guy is good with a football. The minute Cam Newton threw for 4,000 yards in the NFL, everybody forgot about his sordid past. O.J. Simpson had a track record of bad behavior all the way back to his community college days in San Francisco. So, before anybody starts shifting the blame for Aaron Hernandez away from Aaron Hernandez, they may want to take a look in the mirror. It’s only a logical extension once you say Hernandez is the result of the action of another individual to then say the actions of those other individuals are the result of the pressure to when exerted by the fans.
Not to mention, if ESPN is reticent to blame the athletes they glorify, there sure as shit aren’t going to blame the viewers they need to stay in business.
2) Aaron Hernandez is not the only bad guy in the sporting world right now
I could run the list of bad guys in sports today from here to the end of the interwebz, but because murder is sensational, and because Hernandez happens to have been associated with one of the flagship franchises in the NFL, this will undoubtedly be one the stories which will consume the sports world for the foreseeable future. But there are all sorts of other stories out there that simply don’t get the coverage. We’ve already forgotten about the Jovan Belcher tragedy in Kansas City, and right now I would bet that 75% of you can’t tell me who Ausar Walcott is. In fact, did you know that 27 NFL players have been arrested since the Super Bowl?
The example which ties this point perfectly with the first one is Ray Lewis. No only were there a ton of football fans who have forgotten Lewis’ involvement in a double-homicide, many of them completely ignored it because Ray delivered on the field. That’s why ESPN hired Lewis, because they know those same fans will tune in football fans together .
To be fair, this isn’t happening only in the NFL. Police blotters are full of college athletes, NBA players, and NHL players. Even today, the news came out the a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants not named Cain or Lincecum was arrested for allegedly being a drunken pervert. But since he’s not a marquee name. and since he doesn’t pitch for the Yankees or the
Red Yankees Red Sox, you haven’t seen his name anywhere other than a slight blurb on ESPN’s crawl.
The point here is we love to be selective with our moral outrage. You can use all the steroids you want, unless you play baseball, in which case you are the moral equivalent of a Nazi cannibal. Being a cheat, a liar, and a thief is perfectly acceptable as you are a politician with the correct affiliation, and you can literally get away with murder if you are a star athlete with a dubious story you can sell to an even more dubious jury. If you doubt that, don’t forget that all it takes to screw the entire judicial system is one misguided Patriots’ who simply will not vote to convict regardless of the evidence presented.
3) The fertilizer value of Robert Kraft’s “We Were Duped” story could end world hunger as we know it
Yeah, I can see it now…another round of attacks coming from the “Tommy Boy and Sully” Patriots fan crowd because I have dared to besmirch the name of Saint Bob. Bring it on. If you can’t handle the truth about Saint Bob, stop reading right now, tune in Boston sports radio and wait for the latest “let’s all blow Bob-fest,” which I think they are currently running about every two hours or so.
I first pointed this out the other day about the bovine scatology kn own as the “Patriot Way.”
It’s really hard to ignore the fact that if the “Patriot Way” wasn’t just a bunch of lip service, guys like Aaron Hernandez would have never worn the Patriot uniform in the first place. I love the fact that I-285 likens the “Patriot Way” to an “Al Davis mantra,” because it really means “Just Win, Baby.” The fact this all comes down to sloganeering is yet another example of how this is really all about image.
Consider that Kraft whole approach to marketing the image of his team died right about the same time Odin Lloyd did. That’s why Kraft’s most recent comments are beyond laughable.
Two days after returning from a vacation in Europe and Israel, Patriots owner Robert Kraft finally broke his silence Monday about Aaron Hernandez’s arrest on a murder charge and subsequent release from the team.
“No one in our organization was aware of any of these kind of connections. If it’s true, I’m just shocked,” Kraft said in his office at Gillette Stadium. “Our whole organization has been duped.”
Kraft, who has owned the Patriots since 1994, said he was “limited” in what he could discuss because of “an ongoing criminal investigation, as well as other potential civil proceedings,” yet spoke to reporters despite being advised not to by his attorneys. It is unclear if the family of Odin Lloyd, the victim in Hernandez’s murder case, will attempt to sue the Patriots.
But Kraft said it “is important that our fan base hear directly from our organization.” Kraft said the team knew Hernandez was “immature,” but didn’t think his off-field activities ever would lead to a murder charge.
So, let’s break that down. Kraft is smart for not wanting to say anything that could fuel a civil case against the Patriots, but the fact he is concerned about that means he knows there is a potential problem here. I’m not a lawyer, and I’m certainly not going to get into what it takes to get sued in this country, but I will say this. You know damn good and well Saint Bob got the word of several lawyers before he said a public word on this matter. If you doubt that, consider the following.
In fact, the Patriots were willing to draft Hernandez because they believed he had owned up to his past. Kraft disclosed a letter Monday that Hernandez sent to the Patriots on April 16, 2010, six days before the NFL draft.
In the letter, addressed to Patriots player personnel director Nick Caserio and written with help from Hernandez’s agents at Athletes First, Hernandez admitted to recreational drug use while at the University of Florida and said he would “willfully” submit to biweekly drug testing during his rookie season if the Patriots were willing to draft him. Hernandez also offered to make a monetary atonement stemming from his $200,000 rookie signing bonus for any failed drug test.
“In addition, I will tie any guaranteed portion of my 2010 compensation to these drug tests and reimburse the team a pro-rata amount for any failed drug test,” Hernandez wrote.
Right there, Kraft’s “Duped” story starts taking on water. I understand this letter only focuses on Hernandez’ alleged history of drug use, but think about it for a minute. If you are the Patriots, and you are considering drafting this player who has a trail of stuff behind him a mile long, and he’s already tacitly admitting there’s credence to the drug concerns, wouldn’t you do a bit of homework on him before you drafted and gave him multiple millions of dollars? Of course you would.
So, when Kraft uses the term “duped,” he is saying one of two things. Either the Patriots simply took Hernandez at his word and ignored everything else, or they simply didn’t do the homework on this guy. If they chose to turn a blind eye to everything other than the drug concerns, then there is no where they can claim they were “duped.” If they didn’t bother to do the due diligence, the can’t claim they were “duped.” Ane they did take the effort to check out Hernandez’ background, they surely didn’t do a very good job of it. In any event, Kraft and the Patriots were not “duped.” They either knew what they were getting and didn’t care, or they didn’t bother to find out.
A Patriots spokesman said he could not say whether the team took Hernandez up on his offer. Most NFL players are drug tested twice per year — once between August and April, and again between April and August — but the Globe reported in 2010 that Hernandez would face additional testing from the league because of marijuana issues he had at Florida.
Several media outlets, including the Globe, have reported that Hernandez failed multiple drug tests during his three seasons at Florida. But before the 2010 draft, Hernandez told teams he had failed just one, and a Florida spokesman told the Globe Monday that “we do not dispute his claims in this regard.”
Kraft said the Patriots felt comfortable drafting Hernandez in the fourth round after receiving this letter, and did not believe he had any other major off-field issues.
“Here’s a guy writing a letter, taking responsibility,” Kraft said. “The only thing I ever heard on Aaron Hernandez was he was very young, immature, and potentially had problems presented in this letter. Never saw signs of anything else.”
Again, there is no way the Patriots can claim they didn’t know about the marijuana issues. But this isn’t about some sort of “marijuana, the killer weed that makes people kill people;” this is about why would you take action on a tacit admission of one set of concerns and ignore the others? All of the stuff coming out of Florida subsequent to Hernandez’ arrest in Massachsetts was all pretty easy stuff for an investigation to find. Police reports can be obtained, court proceedings are public record, and good, old-fashioned knocking on doors and asking a few questions would have dug up a lot of this stuff. It begs the question why that never happened?
Kraft said all he knew about Hernandez is what happened inside the practice facility at Gillette Stadium, and that for three years Hernandez was a model football player. He noted that coach Bill Belichick said that Hernandez had the best training camp of any Patriots player last August, after Hernandez had signed his contract extension.
The fact that Kraft is sticking to “I didn’t know anything” after his statements about playing it all close to the vest because of current and possible legal entanglements are a complete contradiction. If he really doesn’t know anything, then say that and move on. But to say, I don’t know anything, but I can’t comment,” raises red flags, and deservedly so.
“I only know what goes on inside this building. We don’t put private eyes on people,” Kraft said. “When he was in this building, I was never exposed to anything where he was not positive. He was always polite, respectful. Kraft didn’t say whether the team will be less willing in the future to take on players with character risks, but “you can be sure we’ll be looking at our procedures and auditing how we do things.”
Forget about “private eyes.” It wouldn’t have taken Jim Rockford to bird-dog this guy, especially in light of how quickly this stuff surfaced after Hernandez was arrested. But at least we now know which route the Patriots took; they weren’t “duped,” they didn’t do their homework despite the fact they had every reason to do so. They seemingly didn’t even do the same background check one would be subject to trying to get a job at Wal-Mart.
Kraft certainly wishes he had done more research on Hernandez’s off-field activities before giving him the extension last August, but he felt at the time that signing Hernandez to a long-term deal was the best move for the team. Hernandez’s rookie contract was supposed to run through the 2013 season, and the Patriots felt like they could get better value if they had signed him to a long-term deal before he reached free agency.
“If you let the best players go to free agency or get to the last year, you usually pay more,” Kraft said. “It was a business decision. We were paying for performance. He was undervalued his first two years, then we wanted to get him in range.”
Just what performance were they paying for? Take a look at Hernandez’ stats over the past three seasons: He’s only played in 29 of 38 possible games, which means he misses about one game in four. So his durability is questionable. On average, he’s worth about 56 catches a year for about 650 yard and right around 6 touchdowns. Is that really worth 5 years and $37.5 million?
That’s why I think there’s more to this. In a previous piece, I mentioned that “the Patriot Way” was all about image, and I really believe that Robert Kraft so wanted to be seen a s a guy who can rehabilitate wayward youth that he was using Hernandez as a show pony. That’s why the decision was made so quickly, and the efforts to sever the ties were so demonstrable. The Aaron Hernandez story meant more to Robert Kraft than simply having a player get into trouble.
What it all boils down to for Saint Bob is this. You can tell me you didn’t do your homework. You can tell me you saw something in Hernandez that wasn’t there. You can even tell me that you wanted to use the “rehabilitated Hernandez” story as a feather in your tri-cornered Patriot hat.
But don’t tell me you were “duped.”
I know you are going to be shocked by this, but here comes another Dubsism rant that flies in the face of popular opinion and the bilge being pumped out by ESPN.
First, let’s be magnanimous. The Heat won their second straight NBA Championship last night, and for that, I only have one word. Congratulations. Winning a title in any professional league is tough enough; winning consecutive championships is tougher than getting through an afternoon with your in-laws while simultaneously battling a toothache and hemorrhoidal flare-up.
Secondly, let’s be honest. This accomplishment has the Lebron-ists at ESPN in full throat, both figuratively and literally. My feelings about the World Wide Bottom-Feeder are only a secret to those who have never read this blog; all you have to do is look at the contents of my “ESPN” tag to understand that. All morning, the World Wide Bottom Feeder has been having yet another LeBron-gasm, and there’s one big thing I’ve heard that I just can’t let go unchallenged. For some reason in this country, we have this compulsive need to overstate things. What is happening this morning with LeBron James and the Heat is the perfect example, and ESPN isn’t the only guilty party.
So far this morning, I’ve heard the “LeBron is the greatest of all-time” get progressively louder; I can ignore them because I’ve already destroyed that argument. I’ve heard a lot of stuff about how this could be the end of the San Antonio Spurs. That might be true, after all we all know time moves forward, and no team has more time behind them than San Antonio. But we’ve been hearing that for years now, and it still hasn’t happened. After all that, the one thing I’m hearing today that I have to challenge is the notion that the Miami Heat are now a dynasty.
Bullshit…unequivocal, uncut, flies-circling-it bullshit.
This is just the media getting carried away with itself, because to say the Heat are now a dynasty ignores three undeniable facts.
1) Even thought the definition of “dynasty” is subjective, the Heat still don’t meet it.
I’ll admit that I’m a very “old-school” guy when it comes to definitions, and that of “dynasty” is no exception. When you say “dynasty” to me, I picture the Minneapolis Lakers who won 5 championships in 6 seasons. I picture the Boston Celtics who won 11 titles between 1957 and 1970. I picture the 1980’s, where there were only two teams not named the Lakers or the Celtics to win an NBA title.
But since then, several factors have changed the NBA, and therefore have changed what a “dynasty” is. Those factors include “big-money free-agency,” league expansion, and the influx of foreign players Let’s look at what I would call NBA “dynasties” since those factors came into play:
- The Michael Jordan-era Chicago Bulls – six titles in eight seasons.
- The Kobe Bryant-era Los Angeles Lakers – five titles in eleven seasons.
- The Tim Duncan-era San Antonio Spurs – four titles in nine seasons.
Now, you can look at the list of NBA champions and say that last night’s win gave the Heat their third NBA Championship in eight seasons, which is true. At best, taking that consideration only puts the Heat on the cusp on the conversation. they would still need to win again next year to match the Spurs accomplishment.
But even if the Heat three-peat, I would not consider them to be a “dynasty” for one big reason. Every other team I’ve mentioned here as a “dynasty” has one thing in common. During their dynasty years (with the sole exception of the Boston Celtics of the 80s who are also arguably not a “dynasty”), they all had the same coach and the same star player.
- Minneapolis Lakers: Coach, John Kundla; Star Player, George Mikan
- Boston Celtics of the 60s: Coach, Red Auerbach; Star Player, Bill Russell
- Los Angeles Lakers of the 80s Coach, Pat Riley; Star Player, Magic Johnson
- Boston Celtics of the 80s: Coaches Bill Fitch & K.C. Jones; Star Player Larry Bird
- Chicago Bulls: Coach, Phil Jackson; Star Player, Michael Jordan
- San Antonio Spurs: Coach Gregg Popovich; Star Player, Tim Duncan
That means that for purposes of calling the Heat a “dynasty” means the 2006 NBA Championship can’t be counted because the head coach of that team was Stan Van Gundy (who was fired mid-season in favor of Pat Riley), and the star player was Dwyane Wade. The current consecutive NBA champs are a team which is coached by Eric Spoelstra and revolves around LeBron James.
2) This team may not survive long enough to meet even the lowest definition of “dynasty.”
Lets say the Heat “three-peat” in 2014. I have a hard time calling a “three-peat” the sole requirement for a “dynasty,” because there needs to be a time factor associated with being a “dynasty.” The NFL gives the best example of this. Had the New England Patriots, won either of the two Super Bowls, they would be called a “dynasty” because they would have won four championships in either a seven or eleven year period. “Three-peats” or going three out of four doesn’t get you the “dynasty” tag because in the era of free-agency era, six years seems to be the bare-minimum time period considered to be “dynasty”-worthy. The Dallas Cowboys of the early 1990’s won three Super Bowls in four years just like the Patriots did, and both are not called “dynasties” as a matter of common practice. But the Pittsburgh Steelers of the 1970’s who won four Lombardi Trophies in six season are.
There seems to be a criteria set out for being called a “dynasty” and it seems to be best exemplified by either the San Antonio Spurs or the Joe Montana-era San Francisco 49ers, who each won four titles in a nine-season spam. The “dynasty” period is measured by the first and last championship, it has to be at least six years long (ostensibly because the “useful” part of star-player contracts are almost never longer than that), you must have won a significant number of championships in that time, and in the years you didn’t win, you still had to be amongst the leagues’ elite. So, if the Brady/Belichick Patriots win another super Bowl before the end of their era, they are a “dynasty” in my book, and they don’t then they aren’t.
So, what the hell does that have to do with the Heat? It’s actually rather simple. For me to consider this team a “dynasty,” they have to remain one of the league’s best team for at least four more years, and they have to win at least two more championships in the next four years.
That begs the question as to what this team will look like in four years. LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh all have early-termination options in their contracts at the end of the 2015 season, and player options for no less than $21.6 million each at the end of 2016. That means that right now, the projections have the amount of salary owed to the “Big Three” in 2015 to be right around $65.3 million, and the salary cap for that season is expected to be approximately $62 million. But since it’s a soft cap, the threshold before a team has to pay the “luxury tax” should be about $76 million.
To make a long story short, one of the “Big Three” isn’t going to be around in 2016, because the Heat need to pay nine other players. Not to mention, they are going to need to deal with the fact that Dwyane Wade is in the back-end of his career and his knees are only getting worse, Chris Bosh is a ten-year vet who starting to show some signs of “big-guy” wear and tear, and that at the end of his current contract, LeBron James will be at the end of his 13th NBA season in a league where finding guys who contribute past twelve seasons is rare.
Couple that with the fact that as of right now, the Heat are $26 million over the salary cap, and the one thing that becomes certain is that this team is going to have a fair amount of different faces by the time we get to the “dynasty” deadline.”
3) There’s way too much competition out there.
Not only are the Heat quietly getting old, but there is some serious young competition on the rise. The Chicago Bulls, who were as beat up as Tina Turner after Ike got a bad eight-ball, took the Heat to six games. They are only going to get better. The Pacers, who are younger than Gary Glitter’s choices in a Vietnamese brothel, took the Heat to seven games. They are only going to get better.
And that’s just in the East. This past play-off season showed that there is a changing of the guard happening in the West. There’s a youth movement driving teams like the Golden State Warriors, The Denver Nuggets, the Memphis Grizzlies, and most importantly, the Oklahoma City Thunder. We must not forget that the entire complexion of this play-off season changes with the presence of a healthy Russell Westbrook.
Here’s another spot where I must be fair. I have to give props to ESPN’s Kurt Rambis because he said a lot of the things I’ve pointed out in this piece. That’s why he is likely bound and gagged in a basement somewhere under ESPN’s compound in Bristol, Connecticut. The problem is that the ESPNazis can’t silence everybody.
I’m all in favor of anything that chips away at the dominance the World Wide Bottom-Feeding Four-Letter Network has over the sports world. That’s why I found this press release from the NBC Sports Network so refreshing.
Buoyed by seven of the 10 most-watched NHL games in the network’s history, NBC Sports Network viewership rose 14% in the first quarter compared to first quarter in 2012, according to data released by The Nielsen Company. Additionally NHL programming, including the newly-created Wednesday Night Rivalry games, was up 58% compared to Q1 in 2012, the best start in the network’s history; The Dan Patrick Show viewership is up 58% compared to time period in 2012 Q1; the opening IndyCar telecast rose 78%; and MLS games are up eight percent over last year.
That opening paragraph gives one a brief shot as to what NBC sports Network is doing right; the rest of the release gives some details. We here at Dubsism intend to use those details to offer some suggestions as to how this network can continue it’s growth. Continue reading →
Welcome to a new era in the bullshit to which Dubsism exposes it’s six regular readers. We’ve now entered the video world, and here’s our first video podcast, and as terrible as it may be, it’s a “Neil Armstrong” giant step for this crappy, uncensored, independent sports blog.
The subject of this initial cast is a blog written by fellow Sports Blog Movement member Ryan Meehan in which he broached the topic of homosexuality in sports. While that is a touchy topic, it was a commenter on that post that led to this podcast, which offers a “gut-punch” honest assessment of the entire issue.
Click here to view the entire podcast, but be warned it is a big dose of unvarnished truth…be offended at your own risk.
ICYMI…that’s “in case you missed it” for those of you less hip to internet slang than a 45-year old blogger…
This goal by NHL propsect Alec Rauhauser of Bismarck Century High School was not only a classic “What the fuck was that?” moment, it actually made #2 on ESPN SportsCenter’s Top 10 Plays on Wednesday. For those of you that are hard-core hockey fans, this goal might look a wee bit familiar.
I don’t know about you, but to me it sure looks like that sick-ass goal Michigan Wolverine Mike Legg hung on Goldy F. Gopher back in the day. Rauhauser is drawing the attention of pro scouts with his line going into this game of 19 goals, 26 assists, 45 total points, and that goal helped Century beat cross-town Bismarck High 5-4 in overtime.
While that goal was pretty sweet, I can’t like it because far too many years ago, I was a BHS guy. But, then again, I’m hoping this kid was just living a dream; getting a chance in a real game to re-enact a moment every kid does in his back yard. I would think for a hockey player, scoring that Legg goal had to be high on the list. In comparison, my “Sandlot” age friends weren’t hockey players; but playing “pitch and catch” in his back yard, I can’t imagine how many times my best friend Doug threw Strike Three in the bottom of the ninth to win the World Series…and he probably can’t tell you how many times I dropped Strike Three and had to gun down the runner at first…thus saving his perfect game.
Doug is also the witness to my then-infamous “Century Sucks” chant at a state tournament basketball game. Whether it is the NFL or North Dakota high-school sports, fuck the Patriots.
Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: When Tragedy Gets Sports Used As A Pulpit For Failed Politics
Obviously, this piece is being written in the aftermath of the horrific event at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Before I go anywhere with this, I’m going to quote fellow Sports Blog Movement member Patrick Young who really encapsulated this terrible tragedy in relevance to a sports blog as well as I think it can be done.
Like many people, I have been deeply troubled by what happened in Newtown, CT this past Friday. Obviously not as much as the residents of the town, and certainly not nearly as much as the victims’ families, but my heart truly breaks every time I think about that tragedy for more than a second. I have found it difficult to force myself to write about anything as trivial as sports, and writing about the tragedy itself is not something I can accomplish. I simply do not have the words.
To the residents of Newtown, Connecticut, and specifically the victims’ families, you have my unending sympathy. If there was anything I could ever do to help you in this time of grief, I would do it without question. May God grant you peace and understanding.
But unlike Young’s eloquent words, I happen to see a relationship between what happened both in the Jovan Belcher situation and at Sandy Hook because in no time at all, both of them were used by people to advance a political agenda, and sports were used as a conduit to do so.
Having said that, it is time for a disclaimer. The following opinions are those of J-Dub, and do not necessarily reflect those of Patrick Young or any other member of Sports Blog Movement. In other words, if what you are about to read pisses you off, take it up with J-Dub and nobody else.
The Ever-Changing Looks of Alexi Lalas Are More Proof Soccer Is Gaining In Popularity In The United States…
ESPN soccer commentator Alexi Lalas at auction purchased Geraldo Rivera’s mustache and had it dyed ginger.
This is important to note because only a guy working in a growing sport could pay those kind of prices. If you doubt that, take a look at some of Lalas’ looks from when soccer was the red-headed step-child in America.
Remember the earlier days of Major League Soccer when Lalas was running around looking like a bicycle-kicking ginger Jesus. Of course you don’t; nobody watched the MLS until Drew Carey bought a team.
That led to PlayStation Lalas. Who even has a PlayStation anymore? Aren’t we up to like PS9 by now?
After that, we get Serie A Lalas, the first American in the modern era to play in the top Italian league. The difference is all in hair and beard length.
One thing you have to be careful of is the ease of which any variant of the long-haired bearded Lalas can easily be confused with Metallica’s James Hetfield (again, depending the length of hair or in this case, the presence of Lars Ulrich).
When you are being compared to one of the unquestioned gods of rock, your level of popularity is only going up. And when you get your own bobblehead, you are certainly going places.
With an increase in popularity comes the beginning of the end for the look you’ve become known for as there is a mainstreaming effect. This is why Lalas showed up one day looking like Chuck Norris.
But at some point, the beard has to come off, and there is no better proof of your arrival than parody.
The upside to losing the hair disguise is you can end up in a major motion picture, which is the height of popularity. The downside is if you are a ginger with big face bones…well, the picture says it all.
Through all of that, we as a nation find ourselves at a point where now that Lalas can afford to buy Geraldo’s mustache, destroy it’s Smithsonian value by dyeing it, and play Rocky Dennis while playing in two FIFA World Cups, there’s no denying the popularity of soccer is on the rise in America.
Oh, and Lalas got Hannah Storm pregnant. You aren’t even allowed to talk to her unless you are on the “A” list at ESPN. But don’t tell anybody; let’s the tabloids have their day with it because she’s like 70 years old.