People Who Grind My Gears: Ken “Hawk” Harrelson

It is no secret that I have little respect for the Chicago White Sox.  I’ve written time and time again about why the White Sox are a deplorable franchise.  Fans of the Mighty Whiteys are the flotsam and jetsam of baseball, and Ken “Hawk” Harrelson is the perfect representation of such a loudmouthed and idiotic fanbase.  For those of you who know what a complete baseball buzz-kill Harrelson has become, there’s the website Heave the Hawk.  For those of you who don’t, this past week gave the quintessential dose of Harrelson’s homerism-turned-delusional ranting.

Here’s the setup:

Rays pitcher Jose Quintana fired a pitch behind Ben Zobrist during Wednesday’s Rays-Sux game and was immediately ejected by home plate umpire Mark Wegner. This led to the “Hawk” launching into a rant which set a new low, even for Harrelson.

CBS Chicago posted a soundboard so you can hear a prime example of his idiocy, but here’s the transcript:

“What are you doing, Wegner? You’ve got to be kidding me. That is so bad, that is absolutely brutal. That is unbelievable. I’ll tell you what, they have got to start making guys be accountable. That is totally absurd. That just tells you he has — here’s an umpire in the American League knows nothing about the game of baseball. That’s unbelievable! He has no business umpiring because he has no idea what the game of baseball is about.  He ought to be suspended and if they want to keep him as an umpire, send him back to school and teach him what this game is about.”

The trouble is Wegner saw something Harrelson chose to ignore; this had been brewing for a while. During Monday’s game, Mark Wegner was the second base umpire who called White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynzki safe on an “in the neighborhood” In order to avoid Pierzynski, Rays shortstop Elliot Johnson came off the bag early during the turn but was not awarded the out. There’s one of those “unwritten baseball rules” about “close enough” on plays like this, but Wegner didn’t call it that way.

Harrelson had nothing but praise for that Wegner call deciding to ignore the “unwritten rule;”  making the call based solely on what he saw.

“That guy was cheating,” Harrelson bleated.  ”And second base umpire Mark Wegner was all over it.“

The trouble came from the fact that Pierzynski deliberately spiked Johnson on the play, and there’s another “unwritten rule” about retaliation.

Flash the clock forward to Wednesday’s game. The Rays get their retaliation in the form of a fastball in the middle of Pierzynski’s back.  At this point, the “unwritten rules” say the score is even; you spiked my guy, then I hit your guy…now we get back to baseball.

So, a bit later when Quintana threw behind Zobrist, Wegner knew he was watching a clear violation of the “unwritten rules;” one that likely was going to start a bean-ball war or worse.  Wegner recognized Quintana’s intent and ran him before the situation got out of hand.  In other words, Wegner once again made a based solely on what he saw, but since this time in went against the White Sux, all of a sudden Harrelson is outraged.

I understand Harrelson’s paychecks come from Comcast, and the Whiteys have power of approval over who does their games.  I understand it is Harrelson’s role to be a “homer.” But I also understand there is a big difference between being a “homer” and being a buffoon.  I also understand it must be pretty obvious a line was crossed when not only did Harrelson get called on the carpet by Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf, but that I agree with these two guys whom I made of living from excoriating on a regular basis.

Apparently, both Selig and Reinsdorf took the “Hawk” to the woodshed; to the point of telling him going after the umpires in such fashion on the air is not going to be tolerated.  From ESPN Chicago:

“I talked to Bud Selig yesterday,” Harrelson told ESPN Chicago.com’s Bruce Levine on Friday morning. “We had a talk. Actually, Bud talked and I listened. If it was a prize fight, they would have stopped it in the first round.”

“I also talked to Jerry, and I listened to him as well. That’s all I really have to say.”

White Sox spokesperson Brooks Boyer told ESPN Chicago ”moving forward those type of bursts and snaps will be limited if not eliminated.” You have no idea how much I hope that means this is the beginning of the end for this blowhard.  I don’t think by this point that Harrelson can help himself anymore.  I’m old enough to remember when the “Hawk’s” act was little more than colorful homerism, but those days are long since gone.  Now, Harrelson just spews invective and conspiracy theories about how every umpire umpire in the world is out to get the Whiteys.

He’s simply an abomination, and I sincerely hope he’s gone soon.

However, I’m not going to hold my breath.

First of all, Harrelson has been acting this way for years, largely because he knows that there is little chance of real repercussions. Sure, he got a couple of scoldings this time, but that’s about as bad as it will get.  Selig really can’t do anything to Harrelson other than make Reinsdorf’s life miserable, and that isn’t likely to happen since Reinsdorf may now be (in the absence of George Steinbrenner) baseball’s most powerful owner.

Top that off with he fact that Reinsdorf has a major case of undying loyalty to Harrelson as he has become the face of the Whiteys, which is why we all may be listening to the “Hawk” for quite some time.  In a weird, photo-negative sort of way, Harrelson stepped into the void left by Harry Caray. Like Caray, he’s become this larger than life figure who is loved by the fans of his team. However, Caray achieved this status by being like everybody’s lovable grandfather who may have liked his Budweisers just a bit too much; Harrelson has done it by being everybody’s pissed-off, “hates everything” uncle.

The biggest problem is that neither Harrelson or White Sux fans  realize that he makes the team and thier fans look like a bunch of knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers. This is why I would be willing to bet that the “Hawk” will be one of the few announcers who has more than 25 years of service with one team who will never receive the Ford C. Frick broadcasting award in Cooperstown because he is little more than an embarrassment not only to the Whiteys, but baseball in general.

Your Jamie Moyer Update 05/30/2012 – This May Be The End Of The Road

The feel-good story of the 2012 baseball season appears to be over, and for all the new ground Jamie Moyer broke in his quest fighting Father Time, ironically what may be the end of the road set yet another milestone,  On Wednesday, Moyer became the oldest player to be designated for assignment.

We here at Dubsism have been following Jamie Moyer since before his nearly-miraculous recovery from Tommy John surgery at age 49; we’ve been trumpeting the Moyer story for two years now, when Moyer was still an effective fifth starter for the Philadelphia Phillies. Check out this graphic from 2010 when there was a point in time when a legitimate case could be made that Moyer was as valuable pitcher as two-time defending  Cy Young winner Tim Lincecum.

Even today, the day Moyer was designated for assignment, Moyer’s ERA is 5.70; Lincecum’ s is 6.41.

Over the last few months we’ve watched the “johnny-come-latelies” descend on this story, and why shouldn’t they? It was a fun, if not inspirational story; as a guy closer to 45 than 35, I was pulling for Moyer. It wasn’t just because he’s six years my senior and still pitching in the major leagues.  It wasn’t just because Moyer seemed to set a record every time he took the mound. He was the oldest player to record a win. He was the oldest player to drive  in a run. He was the oldest player to score a run. Moyer just seemed like a guy who kept going out there because he loves the game.

The trouble is that Moyer had a 5.70 ERA in 10 starts with the Rockies, and he allowed a league-high 75 hits in 53 innings.  He also gave up 11 home runs, which would be a lot even by Coors Field standards, but five of them came in his last two starts on the road in Miami and Cincinnati.

It’s not like we didn’t see this coming; our Jamie Moyer Update most previous to this one bore that out.  Moyer’s ERA and WHIP were both trending in the wrong direction, and with the Rockies looking to build for the future and looking to get their young pitchers some innings, it was clear Moyer was the odd man out.  To replace Moyer in the rotation, the Rockies called up Carlos Torres, a 29-year-old right-hander who had a 2.45 ERA and 32/12 strikeout-to-walk ratio in 33 innings at Colorado Springs.

Rather than bemoaning the probable end, let’s look at what Moyer has accomplished.

Check out how many Hall-of-Famers are listed on that chart. Check out how many Hall-of-Famers Moyer outpaces. Check out this sample of ex-big leaguers with whom Moyer shares his birth year (1962): Oddibe McDowell, Danny Tartabull, Wally Joyner, Kevin Seitzer, Darren Daulton, and Darryl Strawberry. Moyer is 12 days older than Bo Jackson.

OK, enough of pointing out the age thing.  The real truth is Moyer was only designated for assignment; he wasn’t executed.  Jamie Moyer will land somewhere in baseball again. If the role he snags with another team happens to be on the field, then Your Jamie Moyer Update will continue as you have come to know it.  I hope that is the case, if for no other reason the man has been a great source of content for us here at Dubsism. After all, we’ve made a lot of blog hay off Jamie Moyer.

If not, it isn’t hard to picture Moyer as a pitching coach. Now, we just wait to see what the next chapter in the Moyer saga brings.

Mark Reynolds Leaves Buck Showalter Hanging

If a picture is worth 1,000 words, then how many is this GIF worth? You have to love how Buck Showalter does the solo fist bump after getting completely blown off.  It’s OK; Mark Reynolds has made a career out of not making contact.

Anybody care to take a guess as to what Showalter is thinking at this moment?

Your Jamie Moyer Update 5/28/2012 – A “Two-Fer”

Unavoidable circumstances prevented the crack staff here at Dubsism from getting an update published after Moyer’s May 21st start in Miami against the Marlins. Moyer had nothing but good things to say about the 50th major league ballpark in which he’s pitched.

Too bad the outcome wasn’t as rosy. Giancarlo Stanton hit a grand slam off Moyer to cap a five-run fourth inning and Austin Kearns tied a career-best with four hits to amrk Moyer’s first appearance in the new Marlins’ park as yet another shell-job for the veteran lefty. The irony is that in his career Moyer was 8-2 in the Marlins’ former home, Sun Life Stadium.  In the new park, even being staked to a four-run lead before going to work wasn’t enough as Michael Cuddyer had a two-run double followed by a Troy Tulowitzki two-run homer in the Rockies’ half of the first inning.

Moyer took his fourth loss of the season after serving up 5 earned runs on nine hits in only 3.2 innings of work, a span that saw Moyer struggle dealing over 100 pitches.

The sad part is the story still doesn’t get back to the “feel-good” nature Moyer’s improbable comeback gave us. To be honest, yesterday’s debacle in the sauna formerly known as Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati might be the point we look back to as the “the beginning of the end.”

Sadly, the baseball pablum in the Moyer story is giving way to an undeniable reality; the Rockies pitching staff is imploding, changes need to be made, and Moyer may be the odd man out.

Let’s look at some cold-blooded facts:

• The 1993 Rockies’ starting rotation compiled a team of ERA 7.03 ERA in May (remember Bryn Smith?) This collection of Rockies’ starters are in May 4-12 with a 6.24 ERA, and seems intent on reaching a new low.
• We know Moyer is the all-time leader in home runs allowed (522), but he has allowed 5 bombs in his last 8.2 innings pitched. He’s also allowed 13 earned runs in that same span.
• Yesterday, because Moyer served up four dingers, the Rockies hit five home runs and still lost.
• Conversely, this made Mat Latos became the first pitcher in the nearly 150-year history of the Reds to earn a victory after surrendering five home runs.

Here’s the reality.  46 games into the season, the case can be be made the grand Moyer experiment may be over.  It seems the Rockies’ management may be redicent to see that, but in all fairness, they really don’t have any good alternatives at this point.

Jorge De La Rosa has been scripted as the ideal replacement for Moyer, as he would provide the “veteran presence” which  has been the bellcow amongst the reasons for keeping Moyer in the rotation.  The trouble is that De La Rosa isn’t ready yet; he got touched up for four runs on two home runs in 3.1  innings and 60 pitches in the first outing of his new rehab assignment.

There’s also a legitimate debate as to the readiness of Guillermo Moscoso.   He laid a giant, steaming pile in his bombed in his two-start audition this month while filling in for the injured Jeremy Guthrie.  This earned Moscoso a bus ticket back to Triple-A where he was told to “be more aggressive in the strike zone.” Since then, he has rung up a 2.45 ERA over his last four outings at Colorado Springs. But, is that a large enough sample size to know for sure?

The other young arm Moyer beat out for the starting job was Tyler Chatwood. But he’s also hurt,  working through a triceps injury in Colorado Springs and is only to the point in his rehabilitation where he’s thrown a single simulated game. In other words, he’s farther away than either De La Rosa or Moscoso.

This leaves Drew Pomeranz.  But he also struggled in his last start at Triple-A, and the Rockies seem bent on protecting the 23-year-old by keeping him on the farm until they see increased velocity from an improved delivery.

While Moyer may be the last best option in the short term, the Rockies need to address the long term concerns here. I get the fact Moyer has been an inspiration since arriving in Scottsdale for spring training.  I defy you to find another outlet on the web which has been trumpeting the Jamie Moyer story for the past two years; since before the year-long absence due to Tommy John surgery, the comeback from which made him the aforementioned inspirational figure.

Having been on the Moyer story for the past two years, I can tell you with almost absolute certainty that if Moyer were the fifth starter on a good team, as he was during his  Championship run with the Phillies, that good  team would keep trotting him out there.  After all, he’s the fifth starter.

But the Rockies aren’t a good team. Despite that, there’s also no question Moyer has done everything the Rockies have asked of him.  But at this point, the Rockies need to do something before the situation gets desparate. The Rockies went 2-4 on the road trip while scoring 5.3 runs per game, and they have lost a league-worst 18 of 24 games in May despite scoring an average of 4.6 runs per game. The line-up is young and full of talent, yet there is also no question this abysmal pitching staff is wearing it out.

Here’s another hard reality.  At this point, the Rockies need to be less about stop-gaps or last best options. They need to be about building toward the future; about building on pitchers who spell 2013 and beyond.  Throughout his comeback, Moyer never wanted to be considered a novelty.  He returned based solely on his love for the competition.  Moyer may very well be invaluable to a young staff needing verteran guidance, but that’s what a good pitching coach does.

In a host of ways, Moyer is a welcome reminder of the past, of “old-school” baseball.  To be honest, this run of his has been nothing short of heroic to a guy who is writing about a man six years his senior remaining as an effective major league pitcher.  But the Rockies need to focus on those who can build their future, and as much as it pains me to say this, Moyer as a starting pitcher is not in that group.

What We’ve Learned: The Dubsism Memorial Day Baseball Power Rankings

1) Los Angeles Dodgers ↑ 1

What We Originally Said:

Upside:  Clayton Kershaw won the NL Cy Young last year and is a contender for the award again. He is signed with the Dodgers through 2013.  Matt Kemp was the runner-up for the NL MVP Award, and was a single dinger away from joining the 40HR/40 stolen base club.  The Dodgers have him locked up through 2019.

Downside: They still have yet to rid themselves of Frank McCourt.

What Actually Happened:

This team has Matt Kemp and Clayton Kershaw, and neither of those two are the reason headline reason right now this team is the currently best in the National League.  Matt Kemp is hurt,  Kershaw is doing what Kershaw does, but check out these pitching facts:

• After 44 team games, the Dodgers had two starters with at least 50 strikeouts
• After 44 team games, the Dodgers had two starters with at least 5 wins (and one of those is Ted Lilly)
• After 44 team games, the Dodgers had three starters with Batting Averages Against under .210 (and one of those is Ted Lilly)
• After 44 team games, the only member of the Dodgers’ rotation without at least 40 strikeouts is Ted Lilly

Ted Lilly…really?

2) Tampa Bay Rays ↑ 5

What We Originally Said:

Upside: Their pitching staff will carry them in 2012.  David Price, James Shields, Jeremy Hellickson, Wade Davis, Jeff Niemann, and Matt Moore form a six-man rotation that just might let the Rays continue their average 92 wins over the last four seasons. Only three teams in the majors had a higher average with one of the lowest four-year payroll totals in baseball at $222 million.

Downside: The Rays need a new fanbase and stadium.

What Actually Happened:

The Rays have 4 grand slams this season, which leads the major leagues.  They also have the best home record in all of baseball.

3) Washington Nationals ↓ 2

What We Originally Said:

Upside: The Nationals have one of the best young rotations in baseball.  Strasburg appears ready to return to his pre- Tommy John surgery condition, and the acquisitions of Gio Gonzalez and Edwin Jackson were huge.  If Strasburg, Jordan Zimmermann, and Chien-Ming Wang can stay away from the injury problems that have bugged them, the Nationals should be able to stay in most games based on their pitching alone.  But the Nats should be stronger in the middle of the order since Ryan Zimmerman, Adam LaRoche, Michael Morse, and Danny Espinosa all could be 25 HR, 90 RBI guys.

Downside: The Nats have three question marks. The first is at first base; Adam LaRoche played only 43 games last year before season-ending surgery and hit just .172. Can he return to the form of his previous years? However, Michael Morse blossomed at first base once LaRoche went down.  Secondly, the Nats have an issue in the lead-off spot. Ian  Desmond is going to start the season there, but he’ll have to learn to be more patient.  He’s drawn only 63 walks in 308 games during 2010 and 2011. Lastly there’s the matter of timing. This needs to be the year the Nats take a step toward the future because this is the last year before the expectations are going to go up. They can still be mediocre this year, but if they finish third or worse in 2013, they may just become a red version of the Cubs.

What Actually Happened:

The pitching has been tremendous, with the exception of the recent flame-out of Ross Detweiler, and this team is getting healthy. Chien-Ming Wang is slated to take Detweiler’s rotation spot, Ryan Zimmerman is back and starting to take on his $100 million form,  and Michael Morse is on a rehab assignment at Class-A Potomac.

4) Texas Rangers ↓ 1

What We Originally Said:

Upside:  The only team in the A.L. West they have to worry about is the Angels. The Rangers have a line-up tailor-made to their hitter-friendly park, so there is no reason they can’t lead the league in team batting average again. Not to mention, they placed top five in runs, on-base percentage, and slugging percentage.

Downside: The Rangers are gambling in the wake of losing C.J. Wilson to division-rival Los Angeles with their $103 million investment in Yu Darvish and moving  Neftali Feliz to the starting rotation for the first time in his major league career. Then there’s the Josh Hamilton situation…we all know about the off-the-field issues, but don’t forget the former AL MVP has been hampered by injuries lately as well.  Now contract talks are stalled, and who knows what impact that will have.

What Actually Happened:

Prototypical Texas Ranger baseball…massive lumber and quasi-shaky pitching.  Josh Hamilton continues to torch American League pitchers, and Nelson Cruz is also on a hot streak. But the pitching is showing some cracks with the injuries to Neftali Feliz, the aging Roy Oswalt is supposedly the savior coming from the minors, and it’s never a good sign for the bullpen when a reliever is second on the team with five wins.

5) Baltimore Orioles ↑ 11

What We Originally Said:

Upside: As bad as there were in 2011, their offense wasn’t all that bad and they’ve kept the core of it.  If Mark Reynolds can produce another 30-plus home run season, and Adam Jones and Nick Markakis continue their consistent hitting, the Orioles could end up being a mediocre team.

Downside:  The Orioles had the worst off-season of any Major League team.  If you don’t agree, here are their off-season acquisitions: pitchers Wei-Yin Chen, Tsuyoshi Wada, Jason Hammel, and Matt Lindstrom; and position players Wilson Betemit, Endy Chavez and Taylor Teagarden.

What Actually Happened:

I still don’t buy this team long-term; I just don’t think they have the pitching to stay in a race.  However, right now they have the best road record in baseball, and they have five hitters with at least 20 RBI in 40 games played.

6) Chicago White Sox ↑ 7

What We Originally Said:

Upside: General Manager Ken Williams also showed a desire to rebuild his club by getting rid of longtime White Sox starter Mark Buehrle and letting go of Juan Pierre, Carlos Quentin, Jason Frasor, Sergio Santos, and Omar Vizquel.

Downside: General Manager Ken Williams has no idea how to rebuild a club. He replaced staff ace Mark Buerhle by over-paying for the ever-fraudulent John Danks.  The rest of the starting rotation will depend on the fragile Jake Peavy and the unproven Chris Sale.

What Actually Happened:

Earlier, I said this team was a “smoke and mirror” job. Then, the Mighty Whiteys were riding a perfect game tossed by a nobody and an 340 performance by Alex Rios, both of which I knew wouldn’t last. What I didn’t see coming was the resurgence of Adam Dunn and an MVP-esque performance from Paul Konerko. which won’t last.

7) New York Yankees ↓ 2

What We Originally Said:

Upside: The Yankees upgraded their pitching staff by adding Hiroki Kuroda and Michael Pineda, and by subtracting A.J. Burnett.  Prospects Dellin Betances and Manny Banuelos will soon find their way to the major league rotation as well. If the pitching staff gels and Curtis Granderson, Robinson Cano, and Mark Teixeira perform as expected, this team will prove formidable.

Downside:  Don’t look now, but this team isn’t getting any younger.

What Actually Happened:

This team gives me more reason to rate them lower than higher, yet somehow they are winning with mediocre pitching and a lot of bats who are not performing up to the usual standards.

8 ) New York Mets ↑ 12

What We Originally Said:

Upside: Whether its up or down, the theme once again for the Mets is hope. Hopefully, all the distractions that surrounded last season are gone with the departure of Jose Reyes. Hopefully, Ike Davis, and Johan Santana are healthy, will stay that way, and will perform up to expectations. Hopefully, there will be a resurgence of third baseman David Wright and Jason Bay now that the outfield wall has been moved in.

Downside:  Hopefully, all those things I just mentioned will happen.  Right after they all do happen, we can all join hands and visit the fairy princess together. Not only that, but this team goes nowhere as long as Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz own the team.  Let’s face it, meltdown, dumpster fire, train wreck…they all are synonymous with “Mets.”

What Actually Happened:

It must be a New York thing. Just like the Yankees, I have more reasons to downgrade this team. Like the Yankees, the Mets pitching is weak. Just like the Yankees, this team keeps winning and I don’t really understand why.

9)  Los Angeles Angels ↔ 

What We  Originally Said:

Upside: This team has ownership that isn’t afraid to make a move. Due to the free-agent signing of first baseman Albert Pujols and starting pitcher C.J. Wilson, the Angels committed $331.5 million, which left little room for the team to add anyone else significant during the offseason. New GM Jerry DiPoto did, however, get his hands on a decent bat bat behind the plate in Chris Iannetta, and reliable veteran relief pitcher LaTroy Hawkins becomes the latest on the list of guys who have played for both of my two favorite teams (Angels and Twins).

Pujols adds to a lineup which featured six players with double-digit home runs, and six with over 59 RBI. Top prospects in catcher Hank Conger and outfielder Mike Trout will also be in the running for a full season with the club.

C.J. Wilson adds to a rotation which already featured 2011 A.L. All-Star Game starter Jered Weaver, Dan Haren, and Ervin Santana.

Downside: Which Vernon Wells do the Angels get in 2012?

What Actually Happened:

Since the last time I did this ranking, the Angels plummeted and have re-risen. Albert Pujols is clearly back to his expected form, and he looks to be leading a general resurgence of the Angels offense.  But it is the pitching that has carried this team so far; two starters have a batting average against under .200, and three have at least 54 strikeouts.

10) Miami Marlins ↑ 13

What We Originally Said:

Upside: I don’t think there could be a more interesting team to watch in 2012. Miami is one of three teams in the Dubsism Top Ten from the N.L. East Division and got there through having by far the most active off-season. Tey’ve got a new name, new uniforms, new logos, a new stadium, a new manager,  and of course, new players. The new Marlins Park will play host to the new-look squad under new manager and old loud mouth Ozzie Guillen, who will be leading new shortstop and reigning N.L. batting champ Jose Reyes, new closer Heath Bell, and new starting pitchers Mark Buehrle and Carlos Zambrano. Added to existing Marlins Hanley Ramirezx and ace Josh Johnson, there’s no way this team won’t be entertaining at least.

Downside: This also just could be the loading of a gigantic powder-keg. Zambrano and Guillen in the same dug-out? The Marlins may want to keep the bomb squad handy at all times, not just for the volatility I just mentioned, but for the fact if this team doesn’t win right away, look for it to get blown up quick.

What Actually Happened:

The Marlins could be a Florida version of the Angels in the sense they came into the season with big expectations, then struggled early, and are now starting to look like the team we thought they might be.

11) Cleveland Indians ↑ 7

What We Originally Said:

Upside:  Shin-Soo Choo seems to be healthy. Vinne Pestano and Nick Hagadone could be the foundations of a solid, young bullpen.  Carlos Santana is a potential All-Star.

Downside: Fausto Carmona (or whoever he really is) may never get back into the country and Grady Sizemore is probably finished as an effective major league player. The heyday for this team was fifteen years ago, and unless you can find a way to add Roger Dorn, Pedro Cerrano, Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn, and Jake Taylor to the roster, there will be more than one long summer in Cleveland’s near future.

What Actually Happened:

Please refer to my comments on this team from the previous rankings.

Don’t even tell me about this team being in first place.  I bit on the Indians last year, and I’m not about to do it again.  This team in many ways could be a mirror image of the Orioles, and they will be a memory by July…

Here’s why they are where they are. They have suprisingly not-shitty pitching, but they can’t hit.

12)  Cincinnati Reds ↑ 2

What We Originally Said:

Upside:  General Manager Walt Jocketty managed to improve the starting rotation by adding former Padres ace Mat Latos, the bullpen by bringing in Ryan Madson and Sean Marshall, and added some needed depth by acquiring Wilson Valdez, Willie Harris, and Ryan Ludwick. With these additions to the existing weapons like Joey Votto and Jay Bruce, and the fact the N.L. Central no longer has the likes of Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder, the Reds have the potential once again to seize the top spot in the division.

Downside: That pitching staff is managed by Dusty “The Ligament Shredder” Baker, the same Dusty Bake who think base-runners “just clog up the basepaths.”

What Actually Happened:

The Cincinnati Reds formula: Johnny Cueto + passable decent starting pitching + a solid bullpen + Jay Bruce and JoeyVotto – reasonable divisional competition =  barely above .500. Luckily, this happens to be good enough for first place in the NL Central.

13) Atlanta Braves ↓ 9

What We Originally Said:

Upside: Last year, I said the Braves were a collection of “what-ifs” built around a solid core of just enough hitting and just enough pitching. Now, enough of those questions became facts so that barring injuries, the Braves can contend in the NL East.

Downside: The Braves finished 13 games back of the Phillies last season, and they way the season ended for them still has to sting. The question is did they improve enough to fix those issues?

What Actually Happened:

This team looked so solid a month ago, then the problems hit.  Chipper Jones is going to the DL, which will cripple this offense because they can’t hit without him.  Brian McCann seems to have the western hemispheres first case of the bubonic plague in decades, David Ross strained his groin on a checked swing, Freddie Freeman needs to find a an optometrist better than the one at Wal-Mart, and they’ve yet to realize Tyler Pastornicky sucks.

14)  San Francisco Giants ↑ 1

What We Originally Said:

Upside: The San Francisco Giants have one of the best pitching staffs in baseball. Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, and Madison Bumgarner form one of the best 1-2-3 combinations in the game.

Downside: The San Francisco Giants have one of the worst offenses in baseball. With the losses of Cody Ross and Carlos Beltran, this team may find itself relying on a 3-4-5 heart of the order consisting of Pablo Sandoval, Buster Posey, and Brandon Belt.

What Actually Happened:

In a Bizarro World twist, the Giants who are known for thier pitching are oddly enough staying afloat on hitting. As for the pitching, the usual recipe for success ({insert starter here} for six innings, then some combination of Santiago Casilla, Guillermo Mota, and/or Sergio Romo, then Brian Wilson in the 9th) hasn’t been in place all season. But that not the weird part. That is reserved for this little fact…Since 1960, the Giants have only had two seasons in which a player collected 200 hits (Bobby Bonds in 1970 and Rich Aurilia in 2001).  With 64 hits in 44 games played, Melky Cabrera is (wait ofr it…one of my favorite phrases ever…) is on a pace for 225 hits (assuming he plays 155 games).

15) Philadelphia Phillies ↓ 3

What We Originally Said:

Upside: The starting rotation is as good as it gets with Cole Hamels, Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee and Vance Worley. New closer Jonathan Papelbon should help shore up the bullpen.

Downside:  If the Yankees and the Phillies make the World Series, they may want to get the games done before 4 p.m., so they can all hit the early-bird specials at Denny’s. This is another team that is aging before our eyes. Carlos Ruiz, Ryan Howard, and Jimmy Rollins are 33, Chase Utley is 32, and Placido Polanco tops the list at 36. Not to mention, the Phillies have lost have lost four of their last five postseason series.

What Actually Happened:

At one point, I said this team was a wild-card because you really couldn’t tell which way they were going. Now you can, and it isn’t the good way.  Forget the injuries, forget the pitching, and forget everything else. This is a team that can’t even get a Roy Halladay bobblehead correct.

16) Toronto Blue Jays ↓ 6

What We  Originally Said:

Upside: Jose Bautista.  In 2010, he hit .260 with 35 doubles, 54 home runs and 124 RBI. In 2011, he hit .302 with 24 doubles, 43 home runs, and 103 RBI. He has to figure in the MVP race.

Downside: The Blue Jays could have a bright future, but the future isn’t today.  Ricky Romero has also been nothing short of excellent for the club. Last season, the 27-year-old went 15-11 with a 2.92 ERA and 178 strikeouts. It’s time to see if youngsters Brett Lawrie,  Anthony Gose, and catcher Travis D’Arnaud can live up to expectations.

What Actually Happened:

This isn’t so much a descent as it is a return to earth. This team has a future, but that future isn’t necessarily today.

17) Detroit Tigers ↓ 11

What We Originally Said:

Upside: Last season, the Motor City Kitties finished in the top four in runs scored, batting average, on-base and slugging percentage. The numbers can only get better with the offseason acquisition of first baseman Prince Fielder, who just happens to be a career .282 hitter averaging over 32 home runs and 93 RBI per season over the last six years.

Downside: How does the move of Cabrera back to third base work out? What will be the impact of losing DH Victor Martinez? And I’m not sold on the rotation beyond Justin Verlander and Doug Fister.

What Actually Happened:

This team has Justin Verlander, Miguel Cabrera, and Prince Fielder, yet still sucks. You explain it to me so we’ll both know.

18 ) St. Louis Cardinals ↓ 10

What We Originally Said:

Upside: Despite losing Albert Pujols and manager Tony La Russa, the Cardinals still have enough weapons to be a factor in the N.L. Central. Starter Adam Wainwright comes back from Tommy John surgery, and he leads a rotation featuring Chris Carpenter, Jaime Garcia, Jake Westbrook, and Kyle Lohse. Also, could this be the breakout year for World Series MVP David Freese? His 21 RBI over 18 postseason games last October could signal the start of something big.

Downside: Let’s face it…losing Albert Pujols would hurt any line-up. This means Lance Berkman has to at least come close to the .301/31 HR/94 RBI campaign he put up in 2011, and Matt Holliday has to be a .300/25 HR/RBI guy as well.

What Actually Happened:

Remember when I said for the Cardinals to have any hope, Lance Berkman needed to get healthy and Matt Holliday had  to bat better than .215? Well, one of those things happened, but the loss of Berkman likely dooms this team.

19) Boston Red Sox ↔

What We Originally Said:

Upside:  The Boston Red Sox are taking on an entirely new look in 2012.  For the first time in recent memory, Jonathan Papelbon, J.D. Drew, Tim Wakefield, and Jason Varitek will not be on the Opening Day roster for the Red Sox. And it’s about time, especially after what happened last September.  Despite this new look, New GM Ben Cherington will be faced with the challenge of keeping the Sox a contender.

Downside: I don’t give a damn what anybody says, I don’t buy this pitching staff.  Jon Lester has always been over-rated in my book. The loss of John Lackey is a case of “addition by subtraction.”  Clay Buchholz walks too many guys. Who knows what Daniel Bard and Vincente Padilla really are?

Then, there’s the whole issue of that idiot Bobby Valentine. I can’t wait for the Terry Francona “Miss Me Yet?” billboards to break out all over New England.

What Actually Happened:

Yet another case where there is precious little change from what I originally thought. Bobby Valentine took a soap opera and made it into one those really cheesy drama you see on Telemundo. Plus, this may be the worst .500 team I’ve ever seen.

20) Houston Astros ↑ 8

What We Originally Said:

Upside:  They have some nice young talent on the team like Jose Altuve, Jason Castro, and Fernando Martinez, and they still have Carlos Lee as the lone power source on the roster.

Downside: Last year, the pitching staff was bottom five in league rankings with a 4.51 cumulative ERA, 1.42 WHIP and a .266 opponents batting average en route to a league worst 56-106 record. That staff didn’t get any better.

What Actually Happened:

The Astros are the .500 photo negative of the Red Sox…they prove you don’t need big contracts, drama queens, and a dipshit manager to be mediocre at best. At least for Houston, this is a dramatic improvement.

21) Pittsburgh Pirates ↑ 4

What We Said Originally:

Upside:  The Bucs are quietly cobbling together a respectable offense.  Outfielders Jose Tabata, Alex Presley, and All-Star Andrew McCutchen are likely to be the the 1-2-3  hitters; all of them hit over .275 last year, and all of them swiped over 20 sacks. Neil Walker looks like a #4 hitter after hitting 17 home runs and 62 RBI in only 460 at-bats.  Plus, the Pirates may have emerging power at the corner infield spots; Garrett Jones showed some pop with 17 homers last year, and Pedro Alvarez is due for his breakout year any time now.

Downside: Last year, the Pirates gave up the third-worst opponents batting average (.270) and received the fifth-fewest quality starts from their starting five.  A.J. Burnett is supposed to be the cure for that?

What Actually Happened:

See the Houston Astros, except the Pirates actually have a few honest-to-goodness major leaguers. This, of course, does not include A. J. Burnett.

22) Arizona Diamondbacks ↓ 5

What We Originally Said:

Upside: In a division heavy in pitching, the D-backs chose bulk by getting potential question mark Trevor Cahill from Oakland and re-signing their own free agent, Joe Saunders, after non-tendering him at the December deadline for arbitration-eligibles. Kennedy, Hudson and Saunders logged career highs in innings last season, and it will be interesting to see if they can repeat that…see below…

Downside:  Even though the Arizona Diamondbacks finished first place in the NL West Division at 94-68, their starting rotation was filled with career-best seasons:

• Ian Kennedy went 21-4 with a 2.88 earned run average and 198 strikeouts in 222 innings pitched.
• Daniel Hudson went 16-12 with a 3.49 earned run average and 169 strikeouts in 222 innings pitched.
• Joe Saunders went 12-13 with 3.69 earned run average and 108 strikeouts in 212 innings pitched.
• Josh Collmenter went 10-10 with a 3.38 earned run average and 100 strikeouts in 154.1 innings pitched.

The D-backs line-up can be inconsistent as well – they struggled to hit over .250 as team despite everyday players Gerardo Parra, Justin Upton and Miguel Montero hitting .292, .289 and .282 respectively.

What Actually Happened:

The offense went south; Justin Upton might well be on a milk carton and this team sorely misses Stephen Drew. Plus, the pitching clearly is not going to repeat last year’s performance.

23) Oakland Athletics ↓ 2

What We Originally Said:

Upside:  America’s favorite breakfast cereal, Coco Crisp,  will still man the Oakland outfield after signing a $14 million, two-year contract with a club option for 2014 after hitting .264 with eight home runs, 54 RBI and 49 stolen bases last season. Then there the Cuban grab-bag known as Yoenis Cespedes. This kid could be the real deal.

Downside: The A’s are without many of their pitchers who brought success to the team in recent years. Trevor Cahill, Gio Gonzalez, and Josh Outman are out of the starting rotation, while Craig Breslow and Andrew Bailey are no longer in the bullpen. The one proven offensive power bat in the lineup has also departed; Josh Willingham hit 29 home runs and 98 RBI in 2011, but is now part of the Minnesota Twins.

What Actually Happened:

How the A’s have won 9 games all while being last in the league in average, slugging percentage, and hitting with runners in scoring position is a minor miracle.

24)  Seattle Mariners ↔

What We Originally Said:

Upside: Felix Hernandez.

Downside: This is the last year of Ichiro Suzuki’s contract with the club. The 38-year-old has seen his batting average drop 80 points over the last two seasons, so you can only expect that this will be his final season with the club unless he’s back to being the old Ichiro. In addition to Ichiro’s decline, the Mariners finished dead last in runs scored, batting average, on-base and slugging percentage last year.

What Actually Happened:

To quote Dennis Green…They are who we thought they were. Jason Vargas and King Felix to give the Mariners a solid 1-2 combination, but to say this team has little else is like saying Oprah Winfrey has a “little bit” of a weight problem.

25) Milwaukee Brewers ↓ 14

What We  Originally Said:

Upside:  Even though Miller Park is known for being tough on right-handed sluggers, the Brewers brought in third baseman Aramis Ramirez. He will need to have a Beltre-like season (.300/25 HR/90 RBIs) to help off-set the loss of Prince Fielder.

Downside: The big questions: Can Mat Gamel prove he is ready to be a major league first-baseman, including posting some power numbers at the plate? Can Wily Peralta develop into a credible big-league starter? Then there’s the elephant in the room…the Ryan Braun situation and what impact it may have…

What Actually Happened:

So much for Wily Peralta…he got shipped back to the minors. So much for Mat Gamel…he tore an ACL and is done for the season. Maybe Ryan Braun can get this sample of a season tossed.

26)  Colorado Rockies ↓ 2

What We Originally Said:

Upside: Troy Tulowitzki hit .302 with 36 doubles, 30 home runs, and 105 RBI in 2011. Carlos Gonzalez hit .295 with 27 doubles, 26 home runs, and 92 RBI in only 127 games. Casey Blake, Marco Scutaro, Ramon Hernandez, and Michael Cuddyer will all be joining the Colorado this season, which can only provide more cushion in a lineup that already features some of baseball’s best hitters. The crisp air in Colorado with these players and Todd Helton at the forefront can only mean runs, runs, and more runs.

Downside: The starting rotation will consist of Jeremy Guthrie, Jhoulys Chacin, and then any three out of about six possibles, including the 49-year old Jamie Moyer.

What Actually Happened:

There’s only three reasons to pay any attention to this team: Carlos Gonzlaez, Troy Tulowitzki, and the on-going Jamie Moyer saga.

27) Kansas City Royals ↑ 3

What We Originally Said:

Upside: The club is loaded with young talent like Eric Hosmer and Alcides Escobar.  Alex Gordon turned a corner in 2011. Billy Butler, Jeff Francoeur, and Jason Kendall provide veteran leadership, and there are more top prospects on the way like Wil Myers and Bubba Starling. The Royals also added pitching with starter Jonathan Sanchez and closer Jonathan Broxton.

Downside: General Manager Dayton Moore is a bit of an unproven commodity, so there’s no guarantee that he isn’t going to mortgage the future if the fans expectations suddenly outstrip the team’s talent.

What Actually Happened:

Image from Royales With Cheese

This is clearly not a case of this team improving; this team couldn’t suck more if you gave them a fully-automated, electrically-powered, full-on sucking machine.  Rather, it is a case of the three teams below the Royals got worse.

28)  San Diego Padres ↓ 1

What We Said Originally:

Upside: Again, you really can’t beat the weather in San Diego…and the Padres, despite the loss of Mat Latos, Aaron Harang, and Heath Bell still have a serviceable  (not great, serviceable) pitching staff currently slated to feature Clayton Richard, Edinson Volquez, Tim Stauffer, Dustin Moseley, and Cory Luebke.  Heath Bell’s closer role has been replaced by Huston Street.

Downside:  The Padres offense last year was in the bottom three in runs scored (593), batting average (.237), on-base percentage (.305) and slugging percentage (.349). The only improvements to that came in the form of Carlos Quentin, Yonder Alonso, and current AARP member Mark Kotsay.

What Actually Happened:

It’s not really that hard to meet expectations when nobody expects anything from you.

29) Minnesota Twins ↔

What We Originally Said:

Upside: It is possible they get production from the faces of the franchise, Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau. Last year thanks to injuries, Mauer hit .287 with three home runs and 30 RBI, while Morneau hit a horrid .227 with four home runs and 30 RBI.

Downside: Only three players on the Twins saw more than 100 games of action last year. There’s Michael Cuddyer, who is now getting his mail in Colorado, outfielder Ben Revere, and third baseman Danny Valencia. These might be the only Twins who matter in 2012.

What Actually Happened:

When does Ron Gardenhire become Ron Garden-fired? Forget it, it won’t matter because firing Gardy to improve the Twins is like curing a bad case of syphilis by chopping off your junk.

30) Chicago Cubs ↓ 4

What We Said Originally:

Upside: Its spring, when Cubs fans everywhere have hope that at long last, this will finally be the year the winning drought in Wrigley Field ends. Plus, they off-loaded head-case first class Carlos Zambrano on the Marlins. Starlin Castro might be the bona fide star in Wrigley.

Downside: It’s not going to happen. Getting rid of Zambrano now means a pitching staff comprised of Matt Garza, Ryan Dempster, Paul Maholm, Chris Volstad and Travis Wood; along with threat of Jeff Samardzija getting work as a starter in spring training. The Cubs have an average-at-best rotation and no replacement for Aramis Ramirez on offense. Snicker if you must, but A-Ram stacks up favorably against some historic third-basemen. He’s complied the second-most 25-home run seasons (9) for a third baseman, behind only Mike Schmidt and Eddie Mathews who each had 12. Not to mention, only Chipper Jones has more seasons with at least a .300 batting average, 25 home runs and 90 RBI at the hot corner. Once again, spring becomes summer; the Cubs’drought continues.

What Actually Happened:

The Cubs are usually finished once the ivy blooms. Thanks to an unusually warm spring in Chicago, that happened early this year. While this may not be the worst team the Cubs have put on the field in my lifetime, they are certainly trying to get there.

Chad Curtis Is the Latest Link in the “High School Coach Is Allegedly a Skeevy Pervert” Chain

For those of you who don’t remember, Chad Curtis was a “journeyman” baseballer who patrolled major league outfields for the then-California Angels, Detroit Tigers, Los Angeles Dodgers, New York Yankees, and Texas Rangers between 1992 and 2001.  Over his career he compiled a .264 batting average and hit 101 home runs

Before today, Curtis was probably best remembered for his stoning of NBC sportscaster and asshole extraordinaire Jim Gray after Game 3 of the 1999 World Series.   Curtis was the left-fielder for the New York Yankees at the time, and after winning Game 3 with a walk-off homer against the Atlanta Braves;  he refused to talk to  Gray in a post-game on-field interview.  This was done in response to Gray’s controversial interview with Pete Rose after the MasterCard All-Century Team ceremony before which took place prior to Game 2.  During this interview, Gray had badgered Pete Rose about his involvement in gambling on baseball.  The players all felt this was an insult to the occasion of bringing all these great players together, and they all agreed nobody would speak to Gray. Of course, after the walk-off homer, the duty of telling Gray to stick it up his ass fell on Curtis.

The trouble is Curtis is now alleged to have an interest in some underaged ass (from CBS Los Angeles)

WOODLAND, Mich. (CBS/AP) — Former major league outfielder Chad Curtis was arrested Thursday on accusations he inappropriately touched two students at a Michigan high school where he was in line to become football coach.

Curtis, 43, is charged with five counts of criminal sexual conduct, said Barry County Undersheriff Robert Baker.

Curtis was arraigned Thursday in Barry County District Court and was freed after posting $25,000 in cash on a $250,000 bond, Baker said.

The charges are based on complaints from two teenage girls, according to Barry County Prosecutor Tom Evans. He told WZZM-TV that he authorized the charges against Curtis.

Curtis was volunteering at Lakewood High School in Woodland, about 50 miles southeast of Grand Rapids. The Lake Odessa resident was in line to become the school’s football coach before the accusations emerged.

David Dodge Sr., whose firm is representing Curtis, said he couldn’t say much about the case at this point.

“Chad Curtis … denies any criminal wrongdoing,” Dodge said.

After retiring from Major League Baseball, Curtis was employed as the Athletic Director and weight training instructor at North Pointe Christian High School in Grand Rapids, Michigan from the fall of 2006 to the late fall of 2009.  According to an article posted on the website MLive.com,  Curtis was dismissed from that job in 2009 for reasons that were not clearly stated. It is also not clear whether the allegations stem from his time at North Pointe or during his time at Lakewood.

I only have two things to say about this. First of all, if you have been a reader of this blog, you know that when it comes to criminal charges , I am not the guy who is willing to play the “rush to judgement” game. I’ve been on record several times saying just that, so I’m not going to change that now. Let’s all wait and see what comes out of this situation…this is America, and in America, you are innocent until proven guilty.

Secondly, regardless of the outcome of this situation, I have a message for every adult out there:  KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF THE KIDS! This should be self-explanatory, but apparently it isn’t.  So, I will say it again…KEEP YOUR GODDAMN HANDS OFF THE KIDS!  Look, I understand the world is full of 17-year old girls who have the drive, and surely have the equipment, but they shouldn’t be getting the experience from anybody who doesn’t have a “-teen” in their age. That should be coming from their pimply-voiced, scabby-faced little boyfriends, not some ass-loaf who needs Just for Men to hide the gray in his beard.

Just remember this, not only will fifteen get you twenty, but just the appearance of impropriety here will get you deep-fried.  When the investigation first began, Curtis went on the record to deny the charges.

Curtis denied the allegations in an interview with 24 Hour News 8 outside of his home. He asked for prayers from the community as the legal process runs its course.

“I don’t believe I touched any students inappropriately…I care about my community. I care about my students,” Curtis said, declining to comment further about the allegations. “We got some stuff going on and I trust that things are gonna work out fine for all people involved.”

“I want to let the process take care of itself the way it’s supposed to…”

Again, this message is for all adults… It doesn’t matter whether you  think the involvement with a minor is “inappropriate,” because this isn’t about you.  There’s about eighty bazillion reasons why  having a sexual relationship with a minor is horribly wrong, and none of them are about you.  If you feel the need to make this about you, then follow this rule:  When in doubt, if there is even the slightest inkling that your interaction with a minor might be inappropriate, if you think even for one second you might be even near the line, DON’T DO IT BECAUSE SOME REALLY BAD SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU!!!

To see why you need to follow the rule, just look at what is going to happen to Chad Curtis.  Even if Curtis is found not guilty, there are people out there who will always think he’s a skeevy pervert.  This is why even if Curtis is found not guilty, his career working in schools is over.  This is also why even if Curtis is found not guilty, he’s likely going to have to move to another town where nobody knows him, otherwise somebody is going to spray-paint “Baby Fucker” on his garage door at least three times a month.  Not to mention what he may be in for if he is found guilty; sex offenders usually don’t fare too well on the other side of the wall.

After all that, just to make sure you’ve all got the message, I’ll say it a third time…KEEP YOUR GODDAMN HANDS OFF THE KIDS!

Your Jamie Moyer Update 05/17/2012: Moyer Is A One-Man Wrecking Crew

After three straight shaky starts, Jamie Moyer got mad and took it out on the Arizona Diamondbacks at the plate and in the field.

Not only did Moyer pitch a crisp six-plus innings giving up only one earned run and striking out five, Moyer brought the lumber driving in two runs. Those two runs would be all the Rockies would need to get Moyer his 269th career win;  pushing him past yet another Hall of Famer (Jim Palmer).

In the fourth inning, he dribbled a 2-2 fastball in between pitcher Patrick Corbin and first baseman Paul Goldschmidt, who fielded the ball and futilely lunged at the old-timer lumbering down the line. That scored Jordan Pacheco from third, and he was quickly followed by Dexter Fowler, scoring all the way from second base on the 80-foot single.  Who needs to double off the wall when a little roller will do?

This leads us to today’s Jamie Moyer Fact:

Moyer has 2 RBI in 11 at bats for an RBI-to-At Bat ratio of 0.18. Albert Pujols has 17 RBI in 150 at bats or an RBI-to-At Bat ratio of .11.  Moyer is clearly your better bet to knock in a clutch run.

Your Jamie Moyer Update 5/12/2012 – One Can Only Defy Trends So Long

The question isn’t can Jamie Moyer pitch forever?  The question is how long can Jamie Moyer pitch effectively?

It has to end at at some point, doesn’t it? Over the first month of this season, Moyer was undeniably the Rockies’ best pitcher.  Despite the fact Colorado went 1-3 over his first four starts, it certainly wasn’t due to Moyer’s performance.  In those four starts he gave up only four earned runs,  but the Rockies committed three errors in his first start, two in his second, two in his third, and one in his fourth. They also struggled at the plate, averaging just 3.5 runs in those games.

In his fifth start, Moyer got roughed up by the New York Mets. Despite chucking seven strikeouts, Moyer also gave up 11 hits and saw the Mets spray his pitches all over the yard.

In his next start,  Moyer got rocked by the Atlanta Braves , Moyer was rocked again, allowing 10 hits and six earned runs over five innings.

Last night was more of the same.  Moyer surrendered  five runs and seven hits over five innings, with seven strikeouts and one walk.

Don’t look now, but that first month of the season is long gone. Since breaking former Dodger Jack Quinn’s record as the oldest pitcher to win a major league game, Moyer is winless in four starts with a 6.43 ERA and a WHIP which has surged over of 1.50.

Sadly, those numbers are trending badly, and there aren’t many pitchers who survive long heading that way.  For now, the Rockies must be hoping that these last three starts are simply off days and not a sign that the miracle is ending.  Colorado has a pitching staff which has been shakier that Jell-o in an earthquake, and until recently Moyer was the stabilizing factor.

The bottom line is the Rockies need Moyer to return to his opening month form.

The question is can he?

Your Jamie Moyer Update 5/6/2012 – Moyer Gets Shelled

Jamie Moyer likely was hoping for some run support Saturday night against the Atlanta Braves.  He has only been backed up by five runs in all of his starts so far this season, and he received none at all for the third time in a 6-5 home loss in 11 innings to the New York Mets on Sunday.

But that wasn’t the case last night.  Moyer got staked to an early 6-0 lead, and even held the Braves to one unearned run through four innings.  It looked as if Moyer was on his way to the win which would push him past Jim Palmer on the all-time list, but was not to be the case.

In short, Jamie Moyer got shelled.

The Braves fired the first shots in the fifth inning with two runs.  The full-on artillery barrage came in the sixth when Moyer served up back-to-back bombs to Matt Diaz and Jason Heyward, bringing his all-time leading total to 516 home runs allowed. Moyer gave up a single to the next (and last) batter he faced, Tyler Pastornicky.  Moyer traded in a windy, cold night at Coors Field for an early trip to the showers, ending with with a No Decision and a line of 5 innings pitched, 10 hits, 5 earned runs, 1 strikeout, 1 walk, and the 2 solo home runs.

During spring training, Jamie Moyer expressed disdain at the notion that he may be some sort of major-league novelty act. In 1976, Minnie Minoso (at age 50) became the oldest player to get a major-league hit as part of a one-day stunt pulled by the Chicago White Sox.  Last night, Moyer became the oldest player to get a hit since Minoso when he stroked a soft liner to left field for a single and the 50th hit of his career.  Then,  he became the oldest player to score a run when he chugged around to score from second base on Carlos Gonzalez’s two-run double.

Now, for the obligatory Jamie Moyer Fact:

Because he pitched in both leagues before the wave of new stadiums and in both leagues after the new stadiums, Moyer has pitched in a record 49 big league ballparks (plus three more in Japan). The only ballparks in use during his career which Moyer never pitched in are Exhibition Park in Toronto, Mile High Stadium in Denver, and Target Field in Minnesota.  If he pitches in the Rockies’ series against the Marlins, the new ballpark in Miami would be his 50th.

Your Jamie Moyer Update 4/30/2012 – Moyer Will Be Really Old When He Passes Cy Young

Last night marked Jamie Moyer’s 633rd career start. While that makes him the active leader in the category, that is by far not the only one. More on that in a bit.

As far as last night is concerned, Moyer faced the New York  Mets, and while he scattered four runs and 13 baserunners (11 hits, 2 walks) across 5 innings pitched, he came away with a No Decision as the game went into extra innings with the Mets prevailing 6-5 in 11 innings.

Despite last night’s performance, Moyer has been remarkably solid through his starts this season.  In 28 2/3 innings, Moyer has put up an ERA of 3.14 ERA, which considering he is pitching in Colorado with a 75-mph “fastball” is just short of a miracle.

Now, for today’s Jamie Moyer Fact:

It’s obvious Moyer will never stop pitching.  Since Moyer is already the active leader in the following categories (not including last night’s tallies), the question becomes how old will he be when he passes the all-time leaders in these categories? The following ages are estimates based on his current pace.

• Wins – 268
• All-Time Leader in Wins – Cy Young, 511
• Based on his 162-game average of 14 wins per season, Moyer will be approximately 66.42 years old when he breaks this record.

• Losses – 206
• All-Time Leader in Losses – Cy Young, 316
• Based on his 162-game average of 11 losses per season, Moyer will be approximately 59.09 years old when he breaks this record.

• Games Started – 632
• All-Time Games Started – Cy Young, 815
• Based on his 162-game average of 33 starts per season, Moyer will be approximately 54.58 years old when he breaks this record.

• Innings Pitched – 4,044
• All-Time Leader in Innings Pitched – Cy Young 7, 356
• Based on his 162-game average of 208 innings pitched per season, Moyer will be approximately 64.93 years old when he breaks this record.

• Batters Faced – 17, 206
• All-Time Batters Faced – Cy Young 29, 565
• Based on his 162-game average of 885 batters faced season, Moyer will be approximately 62.97 years old when he breaks this record.

• Earned Runs – 1, 898
• All-Time Earned Runs Leader – Cy Young, 2, 147
• Based on his 162-game average of 98 earned runs per season, Moyer will be approximately 51.56 years old when he breaks this record.

• Hits Allowed – 4, 181
• All-Time Leader in Hits Allowed – Cy Young 7, 092
• Based on his 162-game average of 215 hits allowed per season, Moyer will be approximately 62.54 years old when he breaks this record.

• Strikeouts – 2,414
• All-Time Leader in Strikeouts – Nolan Ryan 5, 714
• Based on his 162-game average of 105 strikeouts per season, Moyer will be approximately 80.44 years old when he breaks this record.

• Bases on Balls – 1, 144
• All-Time Leader in Bases on Balls – Nolan Ryan 2, 795
• Based on his 162-game average of 59 walks per season, Moyer will be approximately 77.00 years old when he breaks this record.

• Hit Batsmen – 145
• All-Time Hits Batsmen – Gus Weyhing 277
• Based on his 162-game average of 7 hit batsmen per season, Moyer will be approximately 68.00 years old when he breaks this record.