The Dubsism NBA Playoffs Contenders and Pretenders Edition: The Western Conference

As we are at the end of the 2012-13 NBA regular season, it is time to look at the teams who can actually win in the coming play-offs. Sure, the casual fan is going to be planted firmly on the Miami Heat bandwagon, but let’s be honest…they aren’t the only team who can win. But to be more honest, there aren’t very many teams who can win.  That’s why it is time to take an honest look at each of the playoff teams, strip off the misperceptions and make a realistic assessment of their chances to stand alone on the top of the NBA mountain come June.

Today, we give you the full two scoops of Dubsism on the Western Conference.

You can see the Dubsism run-down of the Eastern Conference here.

The Dubsism NBA Playoffs Contenders and Pretenders Edition: The Eastern Conference

As we are at the end of the 2012-13 NBA regular season, it is time to look at the teams who can actually win in the coming play-offs. Sure, the casual fan is going to be planted firmly on the Miami Heat bandwagon, but let’s be honest…they aren’t the only team who can win.

But to be more honest, there aren’t very many team who can win.  That’s why it is time to take an honest look at each of the playoff teams, strip off the misperceptions and make a realistic assessment of their chances to stand alone on the top of the NBA mountain come June.

Today, we give you the full two scoops of Dubsism on the Eastern conference.

You can see the Dubsism run-down on the Western Conference here.

The Dubscast, Volume 5: “Offensive” Mascots Prove The Hypocrisy of the NCAA

Back in 2005, the NCAA declared that Native American mascots were “hostile and abusive” and outlawed them. Eight years later, the fact they are still around may be the perfect example of why the NCAA is the standard by which one measures ineffective and hypocritical organizations. The fact the debate spread beyond that is even more of a damning statement.

In today’s installment of the Dubscast, J-Dub takes a critical look at how the NCAA really isn’t interested in “hostile and abusive” because it clearly makes decision based on other criteria it won’t tell anybody.  It is important to understand this IS NOT a discussion as to whether these mascots are “offensive,” you will need to get past that debate in order to see the bigger picture in play in this issue.

In other words, after checking out this episode of the Dubscast, you will need to decide for yourself why the NCAA either cannot or will not enforce its own rules.

The 2013 NCAA Tournament: Finding the Perfect Analogy For My Bracket

The Hindenburg.

Challenger.

My 2013 NCAA Bracket.

All of them were disasters which made you understand how fleeting life can be. While my bracket will never have the ever-lasting imagery of the Hindenburg or Challenger, it was a tragedy of unparalled proportions in my own bracket-filling history.  Never in my twenty-plus years of bracket mayhem has it been this bad. Never had I lost my two finalists in the first weekend. Only one other time have I missed seven of the Sweet Sixteen.

“Please secure the oxygen mask over your own nose and mouth before picking Gonzaga.”

So, while my bracket is not officially dead yet, it’s like an airliner headed for the ground the hard way. It’s on fire and plunging toward earth; it’s just a matter of time before the final meeting with a corn field seals it’s fate on a rather permanent basis. With that, let’s move past the screaming and praying, through acceptance, and right to the crash investigation.

Trash-Talking The 2013 Sweet Sixteen

Now that  my brackets are so much smoldering wreckage, it is time for a big dose of what the original purpose of this blog was: a profanity-filled tirade about shit I don’t like.  This promises to be a particularly nasty edition since for the first time in the history of my filling out brackets, I’ve lost both teams I had playing on Monday Night in the first weekend tournament. So, since I can’t like this tournament anymore, here comes the bile…

In alpha-suck-abetical order:

Two Things You Need To Know While Filling Out Your NCAA Tournament Bracket

If you haven’t filled out a bracket yet, you are running out of time. Games start at noon eastern time tomorrow, which gives you just under 24 hours to fill out your bracket, and spend  time tweaking it.  Up until then, you can still join the Dubsism Bracket Challenge.

But when it comes to your bracket, there’s two facts you may want to consider, and they both come from people who know more than you do…there’s the odds-makers in Las Vegas, and there’s what the NBA guys think of some talent on these teams.

A) What Vegas Thinks

The Definitive Dubsism NCAA Tournament Bracket – See If You Can Beat It

Without further ado, here is the official 2013 Dubsism NCAA Basketball Tournament Bracket:

MIDWEST REGION:

Midwest Region Champion: Michigan State

WEST REGION:

 

West Region Champion: Gonzaga

SOUTH REGION:

South Region Champion: Georgetown

EAST REGION:

East Region Champion: Miami (FL)

THE FINAL FOUR:

 

Gonzaga over Michigan State; Georgetown over Miami (FL)

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP:

 

So, now that you’ve seen this bracket, and if you think you can do better, just click here to fill out one of your own.

 

College Basketball EMERGENCY! Dr. Brackett Is Here To Doctor Your Bracket

If you are my age, you remember “Emergency!” – the Jack Webb-produced homage to firefighter and paramedics. This was my favorite show when I was seven years old, and it made me want to be a firefighter, until I realized they are basically mailmen who get to drive a way cooler truck and have to deal with occasionally being broiled like a Whopper.

If you aren’t my age and don’t remember this 1970′s cheese-tacular, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that since this show went off the air, this group of dedicated Fire/EMS professionals…Rescue Squad 51′s Firefighter/Paramedics John Gage and Roy Desoto, Engine 51′s Captain Hank Stanley, Engineer Mike Stoker, Firefighters Chet Kelly and Marco Lopez…and the staff at Rampart General Hospital, Nurse Dixie McCall, Dr. Joe Early, and their ringleader, Dr. Kelly Brackett…they have all dedicated themselves to saving your tournament brackets.

By showing you some transcripts of actual bracket rescues, we hope to inform the college basketball tournament-bracket-filling public of how to avoid some of the most common bracket-life-threatening situations. In other words, this isn’t just a series of flat-lining jokes about a show you don’t even remember, this is a goddamn public service.

Thanks To The Fall Of The Berlin Wall, College Basketball Is Full Of Names I Can’t Pronounce

OK, so I get that the Berlin Wall came down close to 25 years ago. But it still has far-reaching impacts. Stolichnaya vodka isn’t hard to get anymore. Guys can beat off to pictures of Maria Sharapova without feeling like a traitor. And college basketball is full of guys with names that can’t be pronounced with a western tongue.

To keep this rant concise, I’m sticking to five examples; feel free to submit your own.  I’ve picked out these guys because I think all of them have a shot to be NBA players in the near future. So even the guys you won’t see in the upcoming March Madness you re likely going to see on an NBA team near you. Oh, and just for purposes of clarity, I’m staying away from all the African guys…names like “Mbakwe” that also have consecutive like some these Europeans would be just too much for one post…the combination might make my tongue snap off its roller like an old-school window shade.

1) Purdue C Sandi Marcius - Croatia

So, look at that surname and tell me as an American how you would pronounce it. Unless you guessed “mar-chooch’” you guessed wrong. Thanks to Purdue’s loss to Nebraska in the B1G Ten tournament, you won’t be seeing the “Sandi-nista” again until October. Maybe it is the fact that I’ve been a fan of the Los Angeles Lakers since childhood, but I can’t resist a European big…Swen Nater, Vlade Divac, and now this guy. The name alone means he could be changing Purdue black and gold for Laker  purple and gold in a few years.

2) West Virginia F Deniz Kiliςli - Turkey

Want to try to pronounce that name correctly? The name is Turkish, and they don’t even use the  same alphabet we do. Having said that, the proper pronunciation is “kah-lich-lah.” Admit it, you wouldn’t have been within miles of that. However, you may want to get familiar with the name since the 6’9″ 260-pounder is going to provide an inside presence for somebody in the NBA next season. Not to mention, he is a musket and a couple of skipped haircuts away from being a Sports Doppelganger for the West Virginia mascot.

3) Gonzaga C Przemek Karnowski - Poland

So, by now I’m guessing you’ve latched on to the whole “unpronounceable” angle, so I’ll let you off the hook. In terms of a player, at 7’1″ 305 pounds, Karnowski is like a Polish version of Shaquille O’Neal.  I really want to start calling him “The Big Karnowski.” Along with that, he is a better-than-average shooter, he can consistently hit 15-foot pull-up jumpers. Defensively, he has some weaknesses, particularly rebounding, but a few years’ development in the college game should make him a first-round NBA pick.

4) Boise State F Vukasin Vujovic - Serbia

A 6’9″220-pound forward, Vujovic played for S Beograd, the junior team of Euroleague member Partizan Belgrade. He averaged 16 points on  53% shooting, in addition to pulling down 5.8 rebounds per game. This is why Vujocic was regarded as one of the top junior power forwards in Europe. He also comes from one of the best basketball countries in the world, and let’s be honest…Serbia owes us all an apology after foisting the likes of Darko Milicic on us.

5) James Madison F Dimitrije Cabarkapa - Serbia

Here’s another big coming from the Serbian junior circuit. A 6’10″ 230 pound forward, played Cabarkapa for the Vojvodina Sport Key junior club, where he averaged 12 points, 9 rebounds and 2 assists per game. He also comes from NBA lineage; he is the first cousin of former NBA player Zarko Cabarkapa, who played three seasons with the Phoenix Suns and Golden State Warriors. The fact that Serbia, a country roughly the size of Minnesota with a population of only 7 million , has put two players on this list can only mean they really want us to forget about Darko Milicic.

The Dubscast, Volume 2: The Los Angeles Lakers Need To Forget About Phil Jackson

Today’s installment of the Dubscast revolves around how fans of the Los Angeles Lakers need to get off the idea that bringing back Phil Jackson can revive the glory days. The Lakers have three main problems, and J-Dub explores those, and why “The Zen Master” can’t fix any of them.