The 2013 NCAA Tournament: Finding the Perfect Analogy For My Bracket

727 crash

The Hindenburg.

Challenger.

My 2013 NCAA Bracket.

All of them were disasters which made you understand how fleeting life can be. While my bracket will never have the ever-lasting imagery of the Hindenburg or Challenger, it was a tragedy of unparalled proportions in my own bracket-filling history.  Never in my twenty-plus years of bracket mayhem has it been this bad. Never had I lost my two finalists in the first weekend. Only one other time have I missed seven of the Sweet Sixteen.

stewardess oxygen mask instructions

“Please secure the oxygen mask over your own nose and mouth before picking Gonzaga.”

So, while my bracket is not officially dead yet, it’s like an airliner headed for the ground the hard way. It’s on fire and plunging toward earth; it’s just a matter of time before the final meeting with a corn field seals it’s fate on a rather permanent basis. With that, let’s move past the screaming and praying, through acceptance, and right to the crash investigation.

midwest sweet 16

The Midwest Region represented that calm, “everything is just so  fucking normal, let’s have a drink” part of the flight. I’ve got three out of four for the Sweet Sixteen.   Sure, we hit a little turbulence with Oregon, but nobody else had them winning twice, so all is still good. We’re on auto-pilot and headed for our destination.

east seet 16

More of the same with the East Region. I’ve still got three out of four as far as the Sweet Sixteen is concerned, and Butler over Marquette wasn’t a horrible choice. We’re still on auto-pilot, we’re on schedule, and drink number two is clearly not out of the question.

south sweet 16

Things start to change with the South Region. Granted, I understand that  7-10 match is a crap-shoot no matter who you pick, and I also get that nobody picked Florida Gulf Coast to win once, let alone twice….not even Florida Gulf Coast itself picked that. But the fact they took out a team I had playing on the final Monday night in April means that as far as aircraft disaster analogies are concerned, this is the 30-second span on the “black box” tape that starts with something like “Hey Bob, did you hear that?” and ends with “OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! WE’RE  FUCKING ON FIRE!!!”

west sweet 16

The West Region represents the part of the “black box” tape which starts with “MAYDAY!!! MAYDAY!!!” and ends with the sound of impact. Honestly, I thought the decision I made in this region that I would have to defend was riding Fred “The Mayor” Hoiberg’s Iowa State team all the way to the Regional Final.  Frankly, you can make an argument that for a bad call, they could have advanced past Ohio State.

But, let’s be honest here. It wasn’t the Iowa State choice that slammed this bracket flight into the corn field. It was the Gonzaga choice. I blame myself. i fell in love with the idea of a team with two 7-footers who could both play the low post and shot from 15 feet.  How was I supposed to know that when it came to crunch time, and entire team would forget how to hit a free-throw, and that “Przemek Karnowski” is Polish for “Melvin Turpin without the suicidal tendencies.”

So, now that I’m finished, let’s look at those who who were bold enough to take the Dubsism Bracket Challenge.

Dubsism Challenge Standings after first weekend

Ignore the fact that I’m currently in 4th place. Rather, note the fact that I have roughly half the possible points to score from this point forward. By this time next week, we will be talking about a crash investigation.

Oh, the humanity…

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4 responses

  1. My picks were equally as tragic if not more so which begs the question, who the fuck is leading their respective pools and how the hell did that end up happening?

    1. I’d answer that question if I still cared.

  2. […] year, the analogy I made to the disaster that is my bracket was to a crashing airliner.  Last year was the first in all my years of this basketball-driven self-flagellation where I lost […]

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