Ask The Geico Guy: Is Lamar Odom A Crybaby?

12 04 2012

Does a former drill sergeant make a terrible therapist? Absolutely.  But maybe Lamar Odom could use some drill sergeant treatment. Perhaps somebody needs to sit his ass down and explain to him that he doesn’t really have it all that bad.  Granted, I understand he has had some personal issues in this past year, but I also understand that everybody else did as well.

Lamar, it’s called being a professional, and like it or not, you’ve been paid as a professional while acting like a bitch. First of all, you’ve made over $107 million in your career.  That breaks down to $122,602.56 for every game you’ve played so far.  That also breaks down to $8,655.34 for every point you’ve scored.  For that amount of money, you suck it up and you give your best effort.  After all, it was Julius Erving who said “being a professional is doing the things you love to do, on the days you don’t feel like doing them.”

The Dubsism Therapy Center is now open for business, you pussy.

So, let’s chug on over to Namby-Pamby land and see if we can’t get some self-confidence for you, Lamar.  Frankly, I think you have two major problems. First of all, let’s talk about that drag-queen you married.  Getting involved with a Kardashian is never a good idea, let alone if you are an athlete.  Not only that, but you married the one who looks like her mother got raped by a Bigfoot.

Now that we are on that subject, what the hell were you thinking by doing that stupid-ass reality show? You know that there is a precise, psychological term for a guy who sulks about everything then puts his private life in front of cameras for a fourth-rate cable network: Idiotic asshole.  When you do that, and everytime you pout because something isn’t going right for you, it makes you look like a complete dick.

This leads to your second problem, Lamar.  I will say this as succinctly as I am able…IT ISN’T ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, YOU SELF-CENTERED BUTT-LOAF! Like I said, I understand you’ve had some issues in your personal life, but you lose me when you use those as excuses for your petulant, “me-first” behavior.  This latest round of your bullshit came when the Lakers tried to trade you to the Hornets.

Apparently, that was too much of a personal affront for you since you stormed into the Lakers’ front office after the deal was quashed by the NBA, said something that irrevocably fractured the relationship, and your ass was headed for Dallas by the end of the weekend.  It’s not like you were shipped off to some NBA back-water, the Mavericks are the defending league champions. But instead of contributing to a title defense, instead you chose to pull a disappearing act; your indifference finally led owner Mark Cuban to confront you in the locker room last weekend.  Again, you said something that forever frosted the relationship and the Mavericks have effectively flushed the Odom toilet.

So, let’s cut to the chase, Lamar. If you really have a diagnosable case of depression as that dude you married suggests, then go get help.  If not, then grow a pair, take stock of your life, and change the things you don’t like.  Dr. J called it being professional, but most of us call it being a man.

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5 responses

12 04 2012
ChrisHumpherys (@SportsChump)

For some reason, Derrick Coleman comes to mind.

12 04 2012
J-Dub

In his defense, Derrick Coleman never married a Sasquatch.

13 04 2012
Sam's Sports Brief

Odom definitely overreacted to the prospect of being traded. It wasn’t a horrible fit in Dallas, Odom just lost it.

15 04 2012
Charlie

Like,like,like!!!!! Fucking cry baby! Fuck the kardashian and their stank ass! Famous because of sex tapes! Role models my ass! Fuck em!

19 04 2012
Ravenation, L.L.C. of North America

Is Khloe the one who looks like a horse?

Lamar Odom is a bitch. I remember when he started crying in front of the media when he was busted for marijuana possession. He should have just said “Look, it’s basketball, you guys know what’s up”. Instead he became a little girl. Fuck him.

I’m having a blast watching Dallas struggle to defend their title.

Meehan

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