An Open Letter to Brett Favre – Please Kill Yourself

If you go back to the very first post on this blog posted over two years ago, you will see it was a rant about the ridiculousness that was the end of the Favre’s career. We all know how much fruit that garden has produced; just glance at the tag cloud in the right-hand column of this very page.

Brett, your problem is that you are like the NFL’s version of a rash that simply won’t go away.  Our latest example are the comments you recently made regarding his successor with the Green Bay Packers, Aaron Rodgers.

I’m not even going to get into what you said, Brett. Don’t think I didn’t notice you pulled that old trick where you say something complimentary (you did admit that Aaron Rodgers was in fact a talented quarterback), but then you tainted that with a back-handed insult by pondering why  “it took so long for a quarterback with Aaron’s skills and surrounding talent to achieve a Super Bowl victory.”

The beef I have is that you said anything. After the way you proved at the end of you career what a self-centered little twat you are, the million-dollar question is why does anybody care what a moron like you thinks?

Even throughout your playing days in Green Bay, even in the MVP era, I always suspected you were a douche-nozzle. I was also suspicious that the reason we never heard this was that the small-town Green Bay reporters may have covered up some of your escapades in order to maintain their access to the local star quarterback.

Of course, this ended after the Packers tired of your “I’m retired/I’m not retired” game and pawned you off on the Jets.  Once in New York, somehow you managed to keep the whole ‘Wiener Text-Gate” issue quiet until after you got out of town, but by then, all sorts of other things were raining on you.

We all know that story, so there’s no need to dredge it all up again. The trouble is that whenever you shoot off your mouth, it all comes back for us.  That’s why for the good of the NFL, its fans, and the human race as a whole, I must ask to you do the honorable thing – kill yourself.

All things...including you, Brett...must come to an end sometime.

Sure, that may sound rough, but let’s be honest. It’s not like you don’t have some self-destructive qualities. I mean, there was that whole Vicodin addiction, then there’s your suicidal insistence on maintaining that consecutive-games-started streak.  It’s obvious you don’t mind self-destruction; why  not show us such an act that’s good for somebody other than you for a change?

You really leave me no choice but to offer this suggestion. As rough as it may sound, it’s obvious you won’t ever shut the hell up as long as you are alive, so it’s clear that is the piece of the puzzle that needs to change.

I don’t really care how you do it; only that you do it before some other media outlet puts a microphone in front of you.  After all the self-indulgent crap you’ve put us through, Brett, it is high time you did something for football fans everywhere.

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9 responses

  1. It’s getting to the point that his only meaningful contribution to society was his cameo in “There’s Something About Mary” and I’m with you… that’s not enough to warrant him remaining among the living.

    1. Now, I’m curious as to Brett’s choices in “hair products,” if you know what I mean (and don’t tell me you don’t)…

  2. I hear that Vikings’ coach Leslie Frazier is balloting players on the team to see which of ‘em wants to travel down to Hattiesburg,Ms,. ? Zygi Wilf apparently doesn’t have a problem with this .

    tophatal ….

    1. They might as well start passing out the cyanide capsules in Minnesota right now.

      1. If not cyanide capsules then some Sarin gas can be had at a reasonable price to be placed inside the Metrodome and within the offices Wilf and his associates .

        And to think that Mark Dayton as governor of the state is said to now be seriously thinking of using taxpayers’ monies to finance the building of a new venue for the organization . What about the state’s multi billion dollar deficit that he says he wants to reduce ?

        tophatal ………….

  3. [...] I know it’s all about baseball, and I know I just wrote a rant asking this guy to kill himself, which is why after you see this picture, you simply cannot want to see success by the Brewers. [...]

  4. Brett will do all he can to destroy what legacy he has in the next couple of years and by the time he is inducted into the Hall of Fame people will be looking to strangle him with his newly-awarded yellow jacket.

  5. Brett will continue to chip away at whatever legacy he built for himself over the next few years and by the time he is inducted into the Hall of Fame folks will be looking to strangle him with his newly-awarded yellow jacket.

  6. The first comment didn’t seem to take so I fired away a second time…just tossing ‘em all over the place, I guess. Wow. That reminds me of the latter part of Brett’s career…

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