Monthly Archives: August, 2011

Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Star Wars Geekery Must Be Stopped

This may just be the usual rookie hazing, but this represents something that has gone just a bit too far in this country.

This is Anthony Bass of the San Diego Padres, a team that has a tradition of making the  rookies wear “Star Wars” backpacks.

Frankly, this is just a glimpse of a much larger problem. That movie was made close to 35 years ago. The last movie in the franchise that was worth a damn was made close to three decades ago. Hell, I like Star Wars as much as the next guy, provided the next guy isn’t one of those dilwads that dresses up in the gear and goes to those conventions.

Somehow, something that is one part King Arthur, one part World War II, and one part sci-fi fantasy has become a colossal waste of time. People, it’s a movie, not a freakin’ lifestyle.

Great Moments In Joe Paterno History: JoePa Has A Run Longer Than His Offense Does

In 2006 during the Ohio State game, midway through the second quarter, Penn State is preparing to punt on 4th down when suddenly Joe Paterno trots into the backfield as if he’s going to take the snap.  But he keeps going…in a beeline for the Penn State locker room. Stranger still, JoePa doesn’t return until after the third quarter starts.

When asked about his sudden absence, he says he has “the flu,” but there is one thing we notice…He was wearing black pants in the first half and khakis in the second half. He never explains the wardrobe change, but I think we all know what happened…

Are Tim Tebow and Kyle Orton Both Victims of Stupidity?

There’s two weeks until the first weekend of the NFL regular season, and I’ve already got a belly full of the quarterback controversy in Denver.  From the moment the Broncos used a first-round pick to draft Tim Tebow, both he and Kyle Orton have been joined at the hip in what has to be one of the silliest quarterback controversies ever. I understand that most of these controversies are borne of two factors; the idiocy of the average NFL fan and the need of the 24-hour sports media to keep those idiots tuned in. But it needs to stop.

That’s right…I just said the fan base of the most popular sport in this country is as dumb as a pail full of rusty hammers. Face it, everything that has that level of popularity has to appeal to the lowest common denominator.  Nowhere illustrates this better that the Tebow-Orton story.

A month ago, Denver fans couldn’t wait (and probably still would like to see) Orton traded away.  It won’t happen, and it shouldn’t happen. First of all, there’s the fact the Orton is 32-29 as a starter in this league. When you stop to consider that counts seasons with a mostly mediocre-at-best Bears team and a mostly-terrible Broncos squad, that’s at least worthy of note. It gets better when you consider Orton over his career has completed 58.8% (better than Hall-of-Famers Bart Starr, Len Dawson, Sonny Jurgensen, Fran Tarkenton, Roger Staubach, and some guy now in the Bronco front office named John Elway) of his passes and nets 11.3 yards per completion (better than fellow ex-Boilermaker Drew Brees). Whether you want to admit it or not, Orton is a legitimate starting quarterback in the NFL.

Most importantly, it won’t happen because the Broncos paid Orton.  The Broncos knew that keeping Orton meant a contractual bump in his base salary from $2.6 million to $7.37 million ($5.35 million guaranteed) plus a guaranteed bonus of $1.5 million. In other words, if they were going to deal Orton, they would have done so before they were on the hook for over at least $7 million.

Believe it or not, the Tebow situation all comes down to money as well.  Tebow’s base salary is $9.75 million spread over five years, but that is not the real problem when it comes to discussions of cutting him. The real problem is what is the perceived value of a first-round draft pick. That’s the real price of admitting drafting Tebow in the first-round was a mistake.  Stop and think about it. Tebow represents a figure who has a huge fanbase (since he entered the league, more Tebow jerseys have been sold that Tom Brady’s), draws interest (love him or hate him), and he’s relatively cheap for a quarterback. The bottom line is the Broncos have nothing to lose by keeping him on the roster and everything to lose by getting rid of him.

The realities of the business of football are completely lost on the average brain-dead NFL fan. There’s a huge difference between being a real general manager in the NFL and running y0ur fantasy football team. In other words, there are considerations which whether you choose to see it or not go beyond on-the-field performance.

Take the jersey sales for an example. In that fact alone, Tebow provides both free advertising for the Broncos and provides a revenue stream for the league as a whole. Then there’s the fan base he brings. Tebow really is the only reason anybody give gives a frog’s watertight ass about the Broncos, who are going to be slightly worse than a last-place team. This was the reason he generated such interest last year when he started the last three games of the season, and the same is likely to happen this year. If you  think for a minute the Broncos will cut Tebow to keep Brady Quinn and Adam Weber on the roster, you should be declared legally retarded.

This brings up another powerful indictment of the low -wattage in the brain bulbs of the average NFL fan. For all the “Orton and Tebow gotta go” talk, where’s the discussion of a viable alternative? I’m not hearing that groundswell for Brady Quinn. I didn’t hear the clamor to get another quarterback when so many of them were available.  Football fans in this country have all suddenly acquired a knee-jerk, herd mentality. This means if more than two of the blow-dries at ESPN say something, suddenly it becomes fact. This is exactly how a month ago Orton was on the train out of town and Tebow was the chosen one and today Tebow’s stock is lower than the scrotum on an old man in a sauna.

This is another thing the Broncos risk by cutting Tebow. Even the most ardent Tebow-haters say “he isn’t ready to be an NFL quarterback….right now.” The simple fact that nobody is willing to say “never” like when “the experts” were lining up to bury JaMarcus Russell is exactly why the Broncos are redicent to get rid of him. They’ve got four more cheap years to find out, and if they let him go and for some reason he does become a legitimate player somewhere else, the Broncos look even more foolish.

Having said that, don’t be “that guy” who writes me a comment telling me how stupid I am because I think Tebow can be a player int he NFL. I’m not saying that at all. Nobody really knows yet. What I am saying is that there is far more to this puzzle in both the case of Tebow and Orton than what happens on the field.

Despite what some dilcue like Merill Hoge says, it isn’t always true. While football is a sport, the NFL is a business. Sometimes, you have to look past what is coming out of the TV talking heads and look at the business realities of a situation.

Great Moments in Joe Paterno History: JoePa Attacks a Camera Man

This moment requires a bit of preparation on your part. Before you read any further, take a moment and jot down all a few of your best “old man yelling “get off my lawn jokes.’” Then watch the video.

The camera crew became the Beaver Stadium equivalent of the kids looking to get their Nerf football back from the neighborhood crabby old guy’s lawn when they wandered onto the field getting some candid pre-game footage. They were collecting close-up shots of the Nittany Lions stretching in the end zone 30 minutes before the game for the closed-circuit stadium jumbotron when the show suddenly went from football to “When Octogenarians Attack.”

Insert your “get off my lawn jokes” here.

Penn State ’11 – When The Ten That Was Eleven Became Twelve

That’s right, with the addition of Nebraska, the Big Ten has twelve members. Gone are the days of hiding the “ten that is actually 11″ thing Escher-like in the conference logo.

Gone are the days of my being able to refer to this league as the Big Eleven Ten (I will be sticking with Big Tweleveten until they expand again).  Gone are the days of Penn State being the figurative new kid on the Big Ten block. But when the focus is returned to this upcoming season, what isn’t gone are the days of Penn State having an early loss. In fact, the Blue and White may have doubled-down on that trend as the Nittany Lions face Iowa and Alabama in their first six games. The end of the schedule doesn’t get any easier, with a home game against Nebraska followed by consecutive road trips to Columbus and Madison.

September 3  - Indiana State

Let’s be honest…This is merely a tune-up. The Indiana State Fighting Trees won’t mount any real opposition; instead, they will be happy to take a Happy Valley seal-clubbing, and return to Terre Haute check in hand.

September 10  – Alabama

Last year in Tuscaloosa, this was the Ghosts of College Football’s past. Back in the days when Penn State was still independent, a JoePa vs. Bear Bryant contest was a regular on the schedule. Not to mention the Nittany Lions routinely faced an SEC team in their usual bowl game.

What do Elvis and Bear Bryant have in common? Most Alabamians think they are both still alive.

This year in Happy Valley, the Penn State faithful will remember how they were outclassed at Bryant-Denny Stadium. This will be one of those games where if you see just the final score, you will know the winner. If the final score is 12-7, you know Penn State won. But, if the final is 43-6, you know that was an Alabama victory.

September 17 – @ Temple

Once again, Temple will face the Nittany Lion buzzsaw. Once again, they will set a record for losses to a Joe Paterno-led team (27). Once again, this will just continue to put the in-state rival from Philadelphia in sole possession of the distinction of suffering the most losses to a Paterno-led team.

September 24 – Eastern Michigan

For the second week in a row, the Nittany Lion buzzsaw will slice through the flesh of a MAC sacrificial lamb. Eastern Michigan is ranked dead-last in the Dubsism pre-season rankings; look for this game to be over by half-time.

October 1 – @ Indiana

Now for the big streak Penn State has since joining the Big Twelevten.  Penn State is 14-0 vs. the Poosiers in conference play. This streak will continue, just like Amy Winehouse’s current consecutive Days-Not-Alive streak.

October 8 – Iowa

For the second year in a row, this game is the Rolaids Bowl.  Now with the current conference re-alignment as resultant schedule, Iowa has replaced Michigan as one of two “red circles of seething hate” on my Penn State schedule (of course, the Ohio State Suckeyes being the other). How does this game get such a distinction? Because (deleted) Iowa always finds a (deleted) way to win this (deleted) game.  This is why the Fawkeyes are 8-1 in their last nine games against the Nittany Lions.

October 15 – Purdue

Purdue represents the second conference foe in Indiana toward which I am officially dismissive. Gone are the salad days of Drew Brees, Kyle Orton, and uh….give me a minute…you know, that other Purdue Toiletmaker that didn’t suck. You know, tall guy, always wore a shirt…never mind. The point is Purdue has had a few years to forget what a historic death-pit they’ve found Happy Valley to be, but they should be getting a reminder about 12:30.

October 22 – @ Northwestern

Honestly, Northwestern scares me when Penn State has to go to Evanston. The Blue and White have only ever lost three times to the Wildcats; two of those occurring in Illinois. While Northwestern has improved to the point where the Mildcats are no longer everybody’s homecoming patsy, they tend to have surprises at home.

October 29 – Illinois

REVENGE GAME: Thanks to the quirks of scheduling in a growing conference, the Fighting Saliva get to return to the scene of the Homecoming crime they committed last year. I want to drink beer out of Ron Zook’s hollowed-out skull. Somebody needs to make that happen.

Michigan supporters simply won’t support any further slippage of this program; its “bowl or bust” for Rodriguez, and like Zook, he isn’t likely to get a helpful outcome in State College.

November 12 – Nebraska

This is first conference match between Penn State and the Cornsuckers who used some B.S. pity party (“poor Tom Osborne hasn’t won a title yet” even though he NEVER deserved one…) to rob the Nittany Lions of a National Championship in 1995.

This also marks the “make or break” stage of the schedule; this is the first of three straight games against Top-20 pre-season opponents, and the only one at home. I may need to save some of those Rolaids from the Iowa game.

November 19 – @ Ohio State

There is a formula for beating the Ohio State Penitentary University; Joe Paterno has proven it, but hasn’t been able to pull it off in a couple of years. The calculus remains the same; if you want to see a Penn State win, you want to see a plodding, ball-control type game with stiff defense on both sides, something akin to watching two sloths using a rock to break open a coconut.  If that happens, the blue sloth  wins  by a field goal.

November 25 – @ Wisconsin

I’d love to say Penn State gets to this game with the idea that a win in Madison means a trip to the first Big Ten championship game, but I’m not that drunk yet. Honesty, I think the Nittany Lions roll into Camp Randall stadium eyeing one those 25 Big Twelevten/SEC New Year’s Day bowls.

49ers-Raiders Aftermath – Get Ready For Another Classic Over-Reaction

This past weekend, we had yet another episode of violence at a sporting event. This time, three people were seriously injured in separate incidents at San Francisco’s Candlestick Park during a 49ers-Raiders game.  So far, two have been upgraded to fair condition, one was a 24-year-old man who was shot several times in the stomach, and the other was a 26-year-old man who was beaten unconscious in an upper-level stadium restroom during the fourth quarter. An additional shooting victim was treated after receiving superficial facial wounds after the game.

This begs the question: What will be the response to this violence? Increase stadium security? Make sure the people who committed these crimes are arrested and have examples made of them? Revoking the season tickets of those involved?

That last one is supposedly going to happen, along with the idea of banning tailgating in the stadium parking lot after games start. Those both are good ideas, but they only go halfway in their approach as they only solve part of the problem. So what do the teams and the NFL see as a solution? Pat yourself on the back if you said we should cave in to this kind of crap and just don’t play the game.

Both the San Francisco and Oakland police departments have recommended that the annual San Francisco 49ers-Oakland Raiders exhibition game be eliminated following weekend violence during this year’s football game at Candlestick Park, officials with the 49ers told CBS San Francisco on Monday.

The 49ers said they were reviewing the police recommendations and scheduled a news conference for later in the day with team president Jed York.

The San Jose Mercury News and Oakland Tribune newspapers reported Monday that the NFL had decided to stop scheduling the rivalry game, but both 49ers officials and Oakland Raiders CEO Amy Trask told CBS San Francisco that no decision had yet been made on the Battle of the Bay’s future.

Welcome to another typical American over-reaction; it is weak, it is misguided, and it doesn’t solve the problem.

First of all, even though Raiders CEO Amy Trask says no decision has yet been made, you can tell cancelling the game is clearly the primary option on the table based on what she’s not saying. Go through the rest of the story; you won’t see any allusions to specific plans for solving the problem.

SFPD Chief Greg Suhr told KCBS Radio that “we added substantial numbers (of officers) for Saturday’s game” and added, “obviously we were right (to do so.)”

You would expect a police chief to talk about beefed-up security, especially since that is exactly what was done at this event. Yet, after increasing security, we still have three people shot and another beaten to a pulp.

There’s two problems here. First, we really don’t know what the original size of the security presence was, so we really can’t tell if the precautions taken for Saturday’s game were appropriate. Second of all, unless you declare martial law, security can’t stop every drunken bum who wants to throw a punch in a men’s room.

But let me ask three questions: How does somebody get into an NFL stadium or parking lot with a gun? How do they pull it out, use it, and get away in front of 50,000 witnesses? How does this happen more than once at the same event?

There’s one answer for all three questions: because even the “increased security” was monstrously inadequate. Look at any video out there on this issue; look at how long punches are being thrown without even the slightest hint of a security presence. Instead of addressing that issue, the hope is that if we simply throw our collective hands up in the air and say “nothing else could have been done, so let’s just not play the game anymore,” no one will ask the questions I just did.

But, there’s some flaws in that theory. It is one thing to call off a pre-season game, but what about the regular season?  Granted, the Raiders and 49ers don’t play each other every season, but they do play each other. What then? Suppose the it wasn’t the meeting of these two teams that was the problem; let’s say both fan bases contain a gun-wielding component prone to violence? Are they willing to cancel all of the home games for these two teams, or re-locate them to “low-crime” cities like Fargo, North Dakota and Cheyenne, Wyoming?

The bottom line is that sports venues are becoming dangerous places. This quoted story naturally makes mention of the Dodger Stadium incident this past spring.  But that is just an anecdotal example of what is by all accounts a growing problem.

San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee, Oakland Mayor Jean Quan, both teams and the NFL were all quick to condemn Saturday’s violence and pledged to work with law enforcement for a solution.

“Fans come to our stadiums to enjoy an afternoon of football, not to be subjected to intimidation or violence,” the mayors said in a joint statement. “The incidents are completely unacceptable.”

Lee, who was at the game, indicated Monday that he also personally observed numerous brawls among fans in the stands and was horrified at some of the conduct.

“We definitely have to curtail the violence,” he told KCBS Radio. “What we have to do is make everyone who comes into the stadium more responsible.”

Former Raiders head coach and NFL broadcaster John Madden told KCBS Radio during an interview Monday that the violence at Candlestick was symptomatic of the declining fan experience at NFL stadiums across the country.

“This isn’t something that just showed up Saturday night in San Francisco,” Madden said. “Over the years, I don’t think that the clubs, the NFL have really taken care of the fans… That’s what they have to watch out for, that the parking lots in our stadiums don’t become hangouts for hooligans, and that our stadiums don’t.”

The NFL, and sports leagues in general, would be well served to pay close attention to Madden’s comments, particularly that bit about the “declining fan experience.” It matters little if the quality of the product is first-rate, it matters little if the tickets are comfortably priced. If people can’t feel safe at the ballpark, they won’t show up. Then nobody will need to make a decision as to whether or not to play the games.

The Dubsism 2011-2012 College Football Bowl Predictions

EDITOR’S NOTE: This list is being completed on the assumption that the NCAA will (or should, at least) rule Ohio State, Miami (FL), and Auburn ineligible for post-season competition. These picks will be noted.

Bowl Championship Series:

BCS Championship:

  • Monday, January 9th, New Orleans, Louisiana,  Superdome
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: BCS #1 vs. BCS #2 – Alabama (#1 SEC) vs. Wisconsin (#1 Big Ten)
  • Payout: $18,000,000

Fiesta Bowl:

  • Thursday, January 5th, Glendale Arizona, University of Phoenix Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Big 12 Champion/BCS vs. BCS At-Large – Oklahoma (#1 Big 12) vs. Boise State (#1 MWC)
  • Payout: $17,000,000

Rose Bowl:

  • Monday, January 2nd; Pasadena, California; Rose Bowl
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup:  Big Ten Champion/BCS vs. Pac-12 Champion/BCS – Oregon (#1 Pac-12) vs. Nebraska (#2 Big Ten)*
  • Payout : $17,000,000

* Nebraska replaces the Big Ten Champion (Wisconsin) which will be in BCS Championship

Orange Bowl:

  • Wednesday, January 4th; Miami, Florida; Dolphin Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: ACC Champion vs. Big East Champion/BCS – Florida State (#1 ACC) vs. West Virginia (#1 Big East)
  • Payout: $17,000,000

Sugar Bowl:

  • Tuesday, January 3rd; New Orleans, Louisiana; Superdome
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: SEC Champion BCS vs. Big East Champion/BCS –  LSU (#2 SEC)* vs. Oklahoma State (#2 Big 12)
  • Payout: $17,000,000
* LSU replaces the SEC Champion (Alabama) which will be in BCS Championship


Capital One Bowl:

  • Monday, January 2nd; Orlando, Florida; Florida Citrus Bowl Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: SEC #2 vs. Big Ten #2 – South Carolina (#3 SEC) vs. Michigan State (#4 Big Ten)*
  • Payout: $4,600,000

* Michigan State replaces Ohio State as we are assuming the NCAA will rule them inelgible

Cotton Bowl Classic:

  • Friday, January 6th; Dallas, Texas; Cowboys Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Big 12 #2 vs. SEC #3 or #4 – Texas A&M (Big 12 #3) vs. Arkansas (SEC #4)
  • Payout: $3,625,000

Insight Bowl:

  • Friday, December 30th; Tempe, Arizona; Sun Devil Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Big 12 #4 vs. Big Ten #4 – Missouri (#4 Big 12) vs. Iowa (#6 Big Ten)
  • Payout: $3,350,000

Chick-Fil-A Bowl:

  • Saturday, December 31st; Atlanta, Georgia; Georgia Dome
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: ACC #2 vs. SEC #5 – Virginia Tech (ACC #2) vs. Georgia (SEC #6)*
  • Payout: $3,967,500 ACC; $2,932,500 SEC

* Georgia replaces Auburn as we are assuming the NCAA will rule them inelgible

Outback Bowl:

  • Monday, January 2nd; Tampa, Florida; Raymond James Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Big Ten #3  vs. SEC #3 , #4, or #5  - Penn State (#5 Big Ten) vs. Mississippi State (#6 SEC) 
  • Payout $3,500,000


Alamo Bowl:

  • Thursday, December 29th; San Antonio, Texas, Alamodome
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Pac-12 #2 vs. Big 12 #3 – Stanford (#2 Pac-12) vs. Texas (#5 Big 12)
  • Payout: $3,175,000

Gator Bowl:

  • Monday, January 2nd; Jacksonville, Florida; Jacksonville Municipal Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Big 10 #4 or #5 vs. SEC #6 – Michigan (#7 Big Ten) vs. Florida (#8 SEC)
  • Payout: $2,700,000

Champs Sports Bowl:

  • Friday, December 29th, Orlando, Florida; Florida Citrus Bowl Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Big East #2 vs. ACC #3 – South Florida (#2 Big East) vs. North Carolina (#4 ACC)*
  • Payout: $2,325,000

* North Carolina replaces Miami (FL) as we are assuming the NCAA will rule them inelgible

Holiday Bowl:

  • Wednesday, December 28th, San Diego, California; Qualcomm Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup:  Pac-12 #3 vs. Big 12 #5 – Arizona State (#4 Pac-12) vs.  Baylor (#6 Big 12)
  • Payout: $2,150,000

* Arizona State replaces USC as they are ineligible

Sun Bowl:

  • Saturday, December 31st; El Paso, Texas; Sun Bowl
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Pac-12 #4 vs. ACC #4 –  Utah (#5 Pac-12) vs. Maryland (#5 ACC)
  • Payout: $2,000,000

Music City Bowl:

  • Thursday, December 30th; Nashville, Tennessee; LP Field
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: ACC #6 vs. SEC #7 – Boston College (#7 ACC) vs. Tennessee (#9 SEC)
  • Payout: $1,837,500

Pinstripe Bowl:

  • Friday, December 30th; New York City, New York; Yankee Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Big East #4 vs. Big 12 #7 – Notre Dame* vs. Texas Tech (#7 Big 12)
  • Payout: $1,800,000

* Notre Dame is eligible for any Bowl spot contracted to the Big East conference

Belk Bowl:

  • Tuesday, December 27th; Charlotte, North Carolina; Bank of America Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: ACC #5 vs. Big East #3 – Clemson (#6 ACC) vs. Pittsburgh (#3 Big East)
  • Payout: $1,700,000

Liberty Bowl:

  • Saturday, December 31st; Memphis, Tennessee; Memorial Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: C-USA #1 vs. SEC #8 – Houston (#1 C-USA) vs. Kentucky (#10 SEC)
  • Payout: $1,700,000

Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas:

  • Saturday, December 31st; Houston, Texas; Reliant Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Big 12 #6 vs. Big Ten #6 – Northwestern (#8 Big Ten) vs. Kansas State (#8 Big 12)
  • Payout: $1,700,000

Independence Bowl:

  • Monday, December, 26th; Shreveport, Louisiana; Independence Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: MWC #3 vs. ACC #7 – Air Force (#3 MWC) vs. North Carolina State (#8 ACC)
  • Payout: $1,150,000

TicketCity Bowl:

  • Monday, January 2nd; Dallas, Texas, Cotton Bowl
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Big Ten #7 vs. C-USA #2 – Illinois (#9 Big Ten) vs. Tulsa (#2 C-USA)
  • Payout: $1,100,000

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl:

  • Thursday, December 22nd; Las Vegas, Nevada; Sam Boyd Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: MWC #1 vs. Pac-12 #5 – TCU (#2 MWC) vs. Arizona (#6 Pac-12)
  • Payout: $1,100,000


BBVA Compass Bowl:

  • Saturday, January 7th; Birmingham, Alabama; Legion Field
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Big East #5 vs. SEC #8 – Connecticut (#4 Big East) vs. Alabama – Birmingham (C-USA #5)*
  • Payout: $900,000 SEC; $600,000 Big East


* replaces SEC spot as the team normally available for this spot will already have been selected by another bowl

Military Bowl:

  • Wednesday, December 28th; Washington, D.C.; RFK Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup:  ACC #8/MAC #4 vs. Army/C-USA #6 – Miami (OH) (#4 MAC) vs. Southern Methodist (#6 C-USA)
  • Payout: $862,500

Armed Forces Bowl:

  • Friday, December 30th; Dallas, Texas; Gerald J. Ford Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: C-USA #3/Army vs. MWC #4 or #5 or BYU – Southern Mississippi (#3 C-USA) vs. San Diego State (#4 MWC)
  • Payout: $600,000

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl:

  • Saturday, December 31st; San Francisco, California; AT&T Park
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Pac-12 #6 vs. Army or WAC #1 or #2 - Washington (#8 Pac-12) vs. Army
  • Payout: $837,500


Little Caesars Pizza Bowl:

  • Tuesday, December 27th; Detroit, Michigan; Ford Field
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: MAC  #1 or #2 vs. Big Ten #8  - Northern Illinois (#2 MAC) vs.  Fresno State (#1 WAC)*
  • Payout: $750,000

* replaces Big Ten spot as the team normally available for this spot will already have been selected by another bowl Bowl

  • Sunday, January 8th; Mobile, Alabama; Ladd Peebles Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: MAC #1 0r #2 vs. Sun Belt #2 – Toledo  (#1 MAC) vs. Troy (#2 Sun Belt)
  • Payout: $750,000

Hawaii Bowl:

  • Saturday, December 24th; Honolulu, Hawaii; Aloha Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: At-Large  vs. WAC #3 or Hawaii – UCLA (#9 Pac-12) vs. Hawaii (#2 WAC) 
  • Payout: $750,000

Humanitarian Bowl:

  • Saturday, December, 17th; Boise, Idaho; Bronco Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: WAC #1 or #2 vs. MAC #3 – Idaho (#3 WAC) vs. Temple (#3 MAC)
  • Payout: $750,000

New Mexico Bowl:

  • Saturday, December 17th; Albuquerque, New Mexico; University Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Pac-12 #7 vs. MWC #4 or #5 – Oregon State (#7 Pac-12) vs. Colorado State (#5 MWC)
  • Payout: $750,000

Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl:

  • Tuesday, December 2otht; St. Petersburg, Florida; Tropicana Field
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Big East #6 vs. C-USA #4 – Central Florida (#4 C-USA) vs. Cincinnati (Big East #5)
  • Payout: $500,000

Poinsettia Bowl:

  • Wednesday, December 21st; San Diego, California; Qualcomm Stadium
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Navy vs. MWC #2/WAC #4 OR MWC #2 vs. WAC #5 –  Navy vs. Nevada (#4 WAC)
  • Payout: $500,000


New Orleans Bowl:

  • Saturday, December 17th; New Orleans, Louisiana; Superdome
  • Traditional/Contractual Matchup: Sun Belt #1 vs. C-USA #5 – Florida International (#1 Sun Belt) vs. East Carolina  (#7 C-USA)
  • Payout: $500,000

Great Moments in Joe Paterno History: JoePa Tells President Nixon to “Shove It”

While this story occurred in 1969, we here at Dubsism happen to enjoy the 2008 telling of the tale; largely because that’s the best Youtube video we can find. Anyway, the background is as follows…in 1969, Penn State is on its ascendance to national prominance; the Nittany Lions are one of three undefeated teams in the nation and ranked #3 in the country, yet President Richard Nixon makes a remark that the end-of-season rivalry tilt between #1 Texas and #2 Arkansas is the “national championship game.”

Paterno never forgot this slight, and a few weeks after Nixon’s remark, the President attempted to “make nice” by giving Penn State an award for having the longest unbeaten streak in the country. However, Paterno refused the award in a less than respectful manner.

The University of Miami: A Dissection Of A Complete Over-Reaction That Is Largely Correct

Buzz Bissinger over at the Daily Beast weighed in on this burgeoning story on Thursday, and at first, I thought the man’s cheese has slipped off its cracker. But as I let myself digest this piece over a few days; as I let myself look at this situation in a larger perspective, I came to realize I agree more with Bissinger’s piece than I disagree.

Here is what must happen:

1) The Miami football program must be given the death penalty by the NCAA. Not for one year. Or two. But forever. Gone. Kaput. Who will really suffer? Only the Wahoos who care about the Hurricanes more than they do their families—and need to get another life, anyway. The coaches? The players? If they have talent, they will all land somewhere else. In the real world, three strikes and you’re out. In the athletic world, three strikes and you’re just beginning. Who benefits? A university that perhaps may realize its primary mission is, can you believe it, academic and not athletic.

It isn’t as if the Miami program has been the white dove of peace in the past. No college football team has had a greater legacy of disgust. According to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, here is a sampling:

In 1994 there were allegations that Miami-based rapper Luther Campbell and former Miami players performing in the NFL were offering cash for big hits—50 bucks a fumble, 200 bucks an interception.

In May 1995 an NCAA investigation found that positive drug tests of various Hurricane players had been withheld by the football program a week before the January Orange Bowl. Later in 1995, the NCAA found Miami guilty of eight different categories of rules violations. Among them: excessive financial awards, Pell Grant fraud, pay-for-play payouts, and failure to follow its own drug-testing policy. In 2006 Miami football players were involved in two brawls, one with LSU in the Peach Bowl and the other during the regular season with Florida International, in which safety Anthony Reddick was said to have used his helmet as a weapon.

His case is compelling, and I’m not certain I disagree, but this is never going to happen. It’s not the “death penalty” part, it’s the “forever” part. Let’s not forget that the NCAA is as much a part of the problem, inasmuch as the NCAA will not do anything that affects making money.  This means effectively shutting off a money tap in a hotbed of college football simply is not a realistic option. It’s a knee-jerk reaction which simply isn’t practical.

If there’s any entity which should be given the “death penalty,” it is the NCAA itself. I will come back to this point later.

2) Miami president Donna Shalala must immediately resign, either voluntarily or under pressure. Her prepared statement in the aftermath of the Miami tsunami—“I am upset, disheartened and saddened by the recent allegations leveled against some current and past student-athletes and members of our Athletic Department”—is a shameless renouncing of her job description. She is responsible for what takes place at the school, is she not? That includes the athletic department, does it not?

Shalala is a well-known sports proponent herself: When she was chancellor of the University of Wisconsin in Madison, one of her biggest priorities was revamping the football program into a top-10 power. She achieved her goal. She is hardly some sports naif. She knows what goes on and what doesn’t, what should happen and should not.

I couldn’t agree more with this point.

University of Miami president Donna Shalala being presented a check by Nevin Shapiro.

Not only does Shalala need to go; she needs to go permanently. Look at that picture and try to tell me she didn’t know exactly what was happening. Not only does she need to go, college football is run by an organization full of Shalalas; it’s called the NCAA.

Once you boil all the bullshit off it, the NCAA is a collection of university presidents who are charged with maintaining the appearance of the “purity of amateur athletics” all while maximizing revenue by any means necessary.  College sports have become such a corrupted mess for no other reason than the body which is supposed to regulate it is also completely corrupted.

In other words, the University of Miami is not the problem. Rather, it is a symptom of NCAA and the culture it has created which is largely tolerant of the actions of a Donna Shalala. If there’s anything that should be excluded from college sports forever, it is the NCAA and college presidents who are crooks.

Great Moments in Joe Paterno History: Alabama Reporters Piss Him Off

It’s 2010, immediately after Penn State got their collective Nittany ass handed to them by Alabama in Tuscaloosa. Paterno makes a statement about how “we didn’t coach good enough,” at which point some idiot reporter asks a question which is merely a repeating of what Paterno just said. Naturally, the coach loses it just like your grandfather at Thanksgiving after he’s already said “no” three times to more cranberry sauce.


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