File Dump: The Jim Tressel Edition

30 05 2011

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of our File Dump…in short, we here at Dubsism believe that when we have just too many good jokes about somebody that we haven’t gotten around to using, and then their career is over, we just can’t let all those good shots go to waste. Since today was clearly not a beautiful day  day in Mr. Tressel’s neighborhood, we bring your our farewell homage to Cheatypants McSweatervest.

Of, course, we never really knew what to do with the “Mr. Rogers” gag, since most Ohio State fans seem to be not allowed near children after they meet Chris Hansen from Dateline.

As disgusting as that may be, there are other heinous ways to abuse the children of Ohio.

But, at the end of the day, it was simply the act of being dishonest that got Tressel into trouble. So many people, Tressel included,  should have learned by now that the cover-up is always worse than the crime.

Somehow, this whole mess all started with tattoos.

Then came the signings and the endorsements…These guys would sign any memorabilia, even prosthetic limbs.

Then it got ridiculous…Tressel started going  all “Ricky Bobby.”

After a while, Tressel became the “Opulence…I has it” guy.

But like all good things, the salad days in Columbus had to end…we just never saw the “South Park” thing coming. OMIGOD, THEY KILLED JIMMY!!!

Just remember one thing, Jimmy. Lying can be considered a “failure to communicate.”





Why You Shouldn’t Cheer For: The Miami Heat

29 05 2011

We as a nation should all get behind the Dallas Mavericks for one reason. If the Heat win the Championship in the first season after the “Decision,” we will be subject to a full summer of the “LeBron” show, from which the resultant pandemic nausea may kill numbers of Americans unseen since the Spanish Flu outbreak of 1918.

The LeBron Barf-Bag...Only Available at Dubsism.

Face it, with us being in the throes of the NFL lockout, and with a federal law that says we cannot pay any media attention to baseball until after Labor Day, with a Miami victory ESPN will have no option but to pump more Heat into my living room than a fucking blast furnace.

I think I may already need a Rolaid…





The Memorial Day Dubsism Baseball Power Rankings – How Wrong We Were

29 05 2011

Sure, this is a small-time blog written by a group of convicted felons and read by worse. Sure, we do that stupid shit about writing predictions, since that seems to be a rule…once you put electronic pen to electronic paper, you have to become a prognosticator. Failure to do so means the Blog Police come to your house and subject you to the Spanish Inquisition.

The difference is that we here at Dubsism follow-up on our bullshit…think about it; when’s the last time a stain like Mel Kiper ‘fessed up to how wrong he was? Well, it won’t take you long reading this list to understand that we screwed the pooch big time, and in ways we didn’t even think possible. Don’t worry, we have sentenced ourselves to plenty of time in the “comfy chair.”

1) Cleveland Indians – Opening Day Rank #30 ↑ 29

What We Said:

Upside: They have one good hitter in Shin-soo Choo, one good pitcher in Fausto Carmona, and one excellent catcher in Carlos Santana, and rumors keep swirling the Tribe has some interesting youngsters down on the farm.

Downside: The heyday for this team was fifteen years ago, and unless you can find a way to add Roger Dorn, Pedro Cerrano, Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn, and Jake Taylor to the roster, there will be more than one long summer in Cleveland’s near future.

What Happened:

Honestly, we haven’t the first fucking idea what happened, we really have no idea how this team was the first to 30 wins. Who else in anybody’s predictions went from bottom to top like Cleveland has? All we know is that history suggests a team like this leading at the quarter-turn will be leading come the home stretch. The question becomes do the young upstart Indians have the ponies to lead wire-to-wire?

2) Philadelphia Phillies – Opening Day Rank #1 ↓ 1

What We Said:

Upside: The pitching rotation – who else has three proven aces on their staff, with a chaser of Cole Hamels and Joe Blanton? Nobody.  Not to mention, this team won 97 games last year despite being crippled by injuries, and whoever wasn’t hurt kinda sucked.

Downside: The loss of Jayson Werth means if nobody emerges as protection for Ryan Howard, he won’t see 20 pitches to hit all year. It also means this line-up is waaaaay left-handed, and the Chase Utley injury doesn’t help. Oh, by the way, the bullpen sucks; and that was before the injury to Brad Lidge.

What Happened:

This team may be the other side of the “WTF” coin from the Indians. Chase Utley has didn’t see a major league pitch until Tuesday, Joe Blanton has been on the disabled list twice, the bullpen looks like a MASH unit, the back-up catcher is on the DL, as is the starting center fielder and one of the quartet of pitchers that were supposed to ensure the Phillies would lay waste to the National League. Yet, this team crossed the 30-win mark just behind Cleveland. I guess they know how to win while being crippled by injuries.

3) St. Louis Cardinals – Opening Day Rank #16 ↑ 13


What We Said:

Upside: At least they still have Albert Pujols. If Lance Berkman has anything left in the tank, if Colby Rasmus can become an All-Star, and if Jake Westbrook can pitch as well as he did in the 2nd half of last year, the Cards can keep the Reds honest in the NL Central.

Downside: This might be the end for the LaRussa era in St. Louis. Even if Pujols stays with the Cardinals, Adam Wainwright’s future is now a question mark, Chris Carpenter’s dominating ways are nearing an end, Jamie Garcia can’t be counted on to be as good as he was last year, and it wasn’t that long ago Colby Rasmus was making trade demands.

What Happened:

Three words – Lance Fucking Berkman. The same L.F. Berkman who died in the Bronx last year is on a pace to hit 39 homers and drive in 128 runs.

4)  San Francisco Giants – Opening Day Rank #5 ↑ 1

What We Said:

Upside: Hey Philadelphia, you can phorget about Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee; the best 1-2 big game pitcher punch is in San Francisco in the form of Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain.  Last October showed that.  The same rotation that led them to the title is still intact, and if Jonathan Sanchez and Madison Bumgarner continue to develop, this entire staff if healthy could be better than the Phillies top-to-bottom.

Downside: We still don’t know if they can hit.  Miguel Tejada was the only upgrade made on the offensive end, and Buster Posey is the real deal, so it will all come down to Aubrey Huff, Pat Burrell and/or Cody Ross, and the newly-svelte Pablo Sandoval.

What Happened:

The pitching has been there, especially given that Ryan Vogelsong looks much better that the #5 starter he is on this staff. The offense, however…let’s put it this way. There’s only one guy with more than 20 RBIs on the active roster and Pablo Sandoval is STILL tied for the team lead in home runs despite the fact he hasn’t seen the field in a month due to injury. The Posey injury doesn’t help.

5) Florida Marlins – Opening Day Rank #15 ↑ 10

What We Said:

Upside: Don’t look now, but this team can pitch.

Downside: What will the offense be without Dan Uggla, and what will Mike Stanton do in a full season?

What Happened:

Look at their road record, and look at the fact they have three starting pitchers with ERAs under 3.04.

6)  Tampa Bay Rays – Opening Day Rank #18 ↑ 12

What We Said:

Upside: The off-season is over, so it can’t get any worse…the Rays have had the worst off-season in recent memory, having lost Carl Crawford, Carlos Pena, Jason Bartlett, Rafael Soriano, Joaquin Benoit, and Grant Balfour. At least they can still pitch.

Downside:  After Evan Longoria, the line-up gets pretty scary. If Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez have nothing left, this could be a tough year.

What Happened:

It says something about Florida that its teams play better when they aren’t there. By the way, did you ever notice that every team Manny Ramirez left improved?

7) New York Yankees – Opening Day Rank #4 ↓ 3

What We Said:

Upside: They are a mirror image of the Red Sox; that offense will score runs in droves.

Downside: They will need to score, because their pitching staff is going to give it up faster than a cheerleader on prom night. CC Sabathia is a legitimate ace, but it gets dicey quickly after that. Is AJ Burnett finished? Is Phil Hughes for real? Do Bartolo Colon and Freddy Garcia know it isn’t 2003 anymore?

What Happened:

The pitching hasn’t been horrible, but the offense has underwhelmed.

8 ) Atlanta Braves – Opening Day Rank #3 ↓ 5

What We Said:

Upside: While they are a collection of “what-ifs” built around a solid core of just enough hitting and just enough pitching, too many of those “what-ifs” look pretty likely.

Downside: How long is this Chipper Jones thing going to last? My fear is that the “resurgence” we saw this spring will fade, and far too many at-bats will be tossed into a hole hoping the dream returns.

What Happened:

Dan Uggla has dissappointed, the rest of the offense doesn’t have a guy batting over .285, and the Braves are making it clear they need to trade for more offense. The bottom line is the Braves do not trust their lineup any longer; it has been far too inconsistent, and don’t surprised to see this team making several moves.

9)  Cincinnati Reds – Opening Day Rank #8 ↓ 1

What We Said:

Upside:  This team has one of the two young pitching staffs with  huge potential. They also have a reigning MVP in Joey Votto, and all signs point to this being the breakout year for Jay Bruce. Plus, they are in the NL Central, where nobody is going to be any good.

Downside: That pitching staff is managed by Dusty “The Ligament Shredder” Baker, and there’s no telling how long the Scott Rolen miracle will continue.

What Happened:

The Reds are currently first in the NL in runs scored with 250, fifth in batting average at .260, fifth in on base percentage at .333 and eighth in slugging at .408. They also have the NL home run leader in Jay Bruce, who has 14 HR and 38 RBI. Besides, the only other team in this division worth anything is the Cardinals.

10)  Los Angeles Angels – Opening Day Rank #6 ↓ 4

What We Said:

Upside: This team has ownership that isn’t afraid to make a move, and you can look for the Angels to be lurking in the weeds at the trade deadline. Everybody saw this team roll over and die after losing Kendrys Morales; the acquisition of Dan Haren was a move for the future, so don’t be surprised when the Angels make another big mid-season move.

Downside: The whole season may be riding on one move; the Vernon Wells acquisition. It could be a stroke of genius, or it could become a money-sucking vortex in the middle of the Angel lineup.

What Happened:

Jered Weaver and Dan Haren both have microscopic ERAs and WHIPs under 1.00, and thankfully the injury to Vernon Wells has kept Mike Scioscia from pumping at-bats into that $80 million black hole.

11)  Boston Red Sox – Opening Day Rank #2 ↓ 9

What We Said:

Upside: They are going to score runs by the buttload.  Jacoby Ellsbury and Dustin Pedroia setting the table  in front of a 3-4-5  Carl Crawford, Adrian Gonzalez, and Kevin Youkilis means there’s is going to be a lot of crooked numbers on the Fenway scoreboard.

Downside: I don’t give a damn what anybody says, I don’t buy this pitching staff.  Jon Lester is over-rated in my book, although he is still pretty solid. The rest of the starters are coin-flips; is the book out on John Lackey? It sure looks like AL hitters have figured him out.  For being some sort  of “wunderkind,” Clay Buchholz walks a lot of guys. Like it or not, this is as good as it gets, Josh Beckett and Daisuke Matsuzaka are non-factors. The addition of Bobby Jenks to the bullpen means, like me, the Red Sox have no faith in Jonathan Papelbon.

What Happened:

Did you know that Tim Wakefield needs only 11 more wins to tie Roger Clemens and Cy Young’s team record? I don’t know what that means in terms of this season, but something seems so completely wrong with that it may explain why Carl Crawford is managing to under-perform on an offense that currently defines over-performance. Oh, Josh Beckett’s sub-2.00 ERA won’t last considering that in any season he’s pitched more than 170 innings he’s never had an ERA lower than 3.27.

12) Milwaukee Brewers – Opening Day #12 ↔

What We Said:

Upside: There’s a love fest in Milwaukee. Everybody loves Zack Greinke in the NL.  Everybody loves the Shaun Marcum acquisition. Everybody loves Prince Fielder in a contract year.

Downside: All this love is still in Milwaukee. The Brewer line-up is thinner than light beer, and that will only get worse when Fielder gets traded.

What Happened:

I keep wanting to say this is a good young team, but then I realize that if they really were “good,” the Reds and the Cardinals would feel threatened by them, which they clearly don’t.

13) Texas Rangers – Opening Day Rank #13 ↔

What We Said:

Upside:  They can still be competitive in the AL West, even with the loss of Vlad Guerrero’s bat and the inevitable return to earth of C.J. Wilson and Colby Lewis.

Downside: It won’t take much to remain competitive in the AL West, which means it more than likely looks to be another long summer in Arlington.

What Happened:

Between Josh Hamilton and Buster Posey, I’ve seen enough season-tanking plays at home plate. More importantly, the AL Central is why I hate doing these blogosphere-mandated prognostications. Let’s face it, the AL West is a race to 88 wins, and right now it looks like any of the 4 teams involved might be able to pull it off.

14) Toronto Blue Jays – Opening Day Rank #14 ↔

What We Said:

Upside: This team has talent that should really give them a bright future.

Downside: The future isn’t today. The Blue Jays had a great season last year due to a rejuvenated offense led by Jose Bautista’s 54 homers. That isn’t likely to happen again, but if it does, Toronto could be in the three-way fight to finish third in the AL East.

What Happened:

Two words – Jose Bautista…and his major-league leading 19 homers, along with 32 RBI and a .342 average. In other words, what wasn’t likely to happen again did just tht.

15)  Colorado Rockies – Opening Day Rank #11 ↓ 4

What We Said:

Upside: They have 3 of the most exciting young players in baseball in Ubaldo Jimenez, Troy Tulowitzki, and Carlos Gonzalez.

Downside: That’s really all they have.

What Happened:

Ubaldo Jimenez going 0-for-2011.

16) Detroit Tigers – Opening Day Rank #14 ↓ 2

What We Said:

Upside: They have a “good enough” rotation, and they added some punch to an offense which already features the best offensive weapon in the AL.

Downside: Does the Miguel Cabrera situation become a distraction? If so, and the key to the Tiger offense goes in the tank, Detroit flounders faster than the Edmund Fitzgerald. If not, they could steal this division out from under the Twins and White Sox.

What Happened:

Justin Verlander chucked a no-hitter. Unfortunately, Verlander can’t do that every day. Magglio Ordonez finally went on the disabled list. Unfortunately, he can’t take Ryan Raburn, Brandon Inge, and Austin Jackson with him.

17) Arizona Diamondbacks – Opening Day Rank #28 ↑ 11

What We Said:

Upside: Kevin Towers has taken over as GM, so the rebuilding can begin.

Downside: It’s going to get worse before it gets better in Arizona. This was a team on the rise just a few years ago, now there will be a long rebuilding process. It starts with trading Justin Upton.

What Happened:

Having won nine of their last ten, Diamondbacks are somehow the hottest team in baseball, and they as of this writing are only 1.5 games out of first place in the NL West. I’ll wait a moment so you can let that sink in (Musical interlude)…

18) Chicago White Sox – Opening Day Rank #9 ↓ 9

What We Said:

Upside: This is another line-up that will score runs, especially with the addition of Adam Dunn and the fact they will be no longer wasting at-bats on Manny Ramirez and Andruw Jones.  If  Alex Rios’ resurgence wasn’t a fluke, if they can get Carlos Quentin healthy, and if Gordon Beckham plays like he did late last  year, they could run away with the AL Central.

Downside: Also known as the reasons why they won’t win the division, namely a pitching staff that is completely fraudulent after Mark Buehrle, and the fact they have no depth. A couple of key injuries, and this team suddenly becomes the Royals.

What Happened:

Adam Dunn Done suddenly can’t hit left-handed pitching; no one strikes out quite like Done. It looks so effortless. A lot of people don’t know this,. but “Pierzynski” is actually a Polish word meaning “second base is open and waiting for you.”  I mean, he does know you can try to throw runners out, right? Gordon Beckham is hitting more like Gordon Lightfoot, and Jake Peavy has a right arm like Dr. Strangelove.

19)  Baltimore Orioles – Opening Day Rank #17 ↓ 2

What We Said:

Upside: Don’t look now, but this team doesn’t suck.  Seriously, it jumped out at me how not terrible this line-up is: Brian Roberts, Nick Markakis, Derrek Lee, Vladimir Guerrero, Luke Scott, Adam Jones, Mark Reynolds, Matt Wieters, J.J. Hardy…and with Jake Fox crushing the ball this spring, Buck Showalter is going to have some interesting options on the line-up card.

Downside: Even though Brian Matusz and Chris Tillman show a ton of potential in the rotation, the rest of the pitching staff is thinner than an Ethiopian swimsuit model.

What Happened:

As noted, the starting pitching isn’t good enough, and the line-up suddenly became an “all or nothing” proposition. Considering the way the roster was constructed, they don’t have any other chance of scoring runs other than just hitting their way out of slumps. The O’s can’t steal bases, sluggers don’t do “small-ball” well, and giving up outs when a team is struggling to score makes no sense.

20)  Seattle Mariners – Opening Day Rank #24 ↑ 4

What We Said:

Upside: Felix Hernandez. Here’s how a guy wins a Cy Young Award on 13 measly wins: 2.27 ERA, 249.2 innings, 232 K, 1.06 WHIP, and a .212 BAA. He’s either the lynchpin of your pitching rotation for the next decade, or he’s the guy you will get a king’s ransom for some July in the future.

Downside: The line-up. After Ichiro, Seattle becomes a black hole of offense. This team will struggle to score three runs a game. If this team wins 75 games, I will eat my keyboard.

What Happened:

The M’s found a 1-2 punch partner for King Felix in Michael Pineda, the offense is somehow making it work with Justin Smoak, Jack Cust and an Ichiro Suzuki, whose only batting .285. And yet, this team is on a pace for a keyboard lunch.

21) Oakland Athletics – Opening Day Rank #10 ↓ 11

What We Said:

Upside: This is the other team with the fascinating young pitching staff. The top four starters in Oakland combined for a 3.16 ERA in 700 innings pitched last season.

Downside: Their offense was what let them down last year, and they only added Hideki Matsui and Josh Willingham. There aren’t a lot of guarantees on engine performance when you only add two used spark plugs.

What Happened:

Sorry A’s fans, but your offense sucks. This offense is ranked 17th in runs, 28th in home runs, 24th in RBI, and 3rd in strikeouts. The upside is the pitching staff is good enough to keep this team in the race.

22) New York Mets – Opening Day Rank #27 ↑ 5

Upside: If you believe in rays of hope, here’s a couple.  Brad Emaus will have double digit home runs and stolen bases for the Mets…his on-base percentage in the minors the last two years was .402 and .395, respectively.  Jose Reyes will score 100 runs, steal 40 bases and hit double-digit home runs…he’s in a contract year, and numbers like that could make him baseball’s next $100 million.

Downside: Right after any of those things happen, we can all join hands and visit the fairy princess together. Not only does the ownership situation threaten to sink the ship, it completely kills the ability to make the moves the Mets need to stay relevant in the NL East. Let’s face it, meltdown, dumpster fire, train wreck…they all are synonymous with “Mets.”

What Happened:

What happened can all be summed up in this Scott Boras quote on owner Fred Wilpon.

“This is not the Fred Wilpon I know. Any major league owner would be very pleased to have a player performing at the level at which Carlos Beltran is performing this season. I think it’s best that any evaluations remain internal and confidential. But it’s very clear to me that Carlos’s performance speaks for itself.”

Of course at the time, Carlos Beltran was hitting a respectable .281 with 8 HR and 28 RBI, which along with Ike Davis forms the only two bright spots in Met land. Of course, this is why Wilpon ripped them.

23) Los Angeles Dodgers – Opening Day Rank #19 ↓ 4

What We Said:

Upside: They have a couple of decent starters, they have some interesting arms in the bullpen, and Frank McCourt likely won’t own this team much longer.

Downside: Here’s the Dodgers represented in punctuation ???????????????????????????????????? This team is nothing but a parade of questions, not the least of which is who will own it this time next year? Who will pay the bills until then? Who, if anybody on this offense is actually going to do something at the plate?

What Happened:

Time for Dodger Math…What do you get if you take the Dodger offense and subtract Matt Kemp? An offense that would make that of the Padres and Twins seem robust, and would make the A’s look like the 1927 Yankees.

24) Pittsburgh Pirates – Opening Day Rank #26 ↑ 2

What We Said:

Upside: All things considered, the Pirates have actually cobbled together some pieces that threaten to put them on the verge of respectability. Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t there yet, but with some young talent like Andrew McCutchen and Pedro Alvarez, they at least have something to build on.

Downside: But will they build on it? You don’t go through two decades of being a laughing stock without making a science out of bad decision making. Also, if they decide to build, will they finally invest in some pitching?

What Happened:

The same thing that has been happening every day since 1993 in Pittsburgh.

25) Chicago Cubs – Opening Day Rank #21 ↓ 4

What We Said:

Upside: Its spring, when Cubs fans everywhere have hope that at long last, this will finally be the year the winning drought in Wrigley Field ends.

Downside: The Cubs have an average-at-best rotation, and aging stars on offense. Spring becomes summer; the drought continues.

What Happened:

The Cubs pitching staff in microcosm: With the Chicago Cubs starting pitching in shambles,  they were  eagerly anticipating the return of starter Randy Wells from the disabled list. Instead of making a triumphant return, Wells gave up five earned runs in four innings as the Cubs were shelled by the Pittsburgh Pirates 10-0.

26) Kansas City Royals – Opening Day Rank #29 ↑ 3

What We Said:

Upside: They got rid of the over-rated and soon-to-be-oft-injured Zach Grienke, and the monstrously overpaid Gil Meche. Now all they have to do is get rid of humps like anybody currently in the Royal outfield and the entire pitching staff except for Joakim Soria, so they can start bringing up the talent they are over-stocked on in the minors.

Downside: General Manager Dayton Moore is a bit of an unproven commodity, so there’s no guarantee that he isn’t going to mortgage the future if the fans expectations suddenly outstrip the team’s talent.

What Happened:

Vin Mazzaro. Sean O’Sullivan. Luke Hochevar.

27) Washington Nationals – Opening Day Rank #23 ↓ 4

What We Said:

Upside: This team certainly seems to get the idea that their time starts in 2012 or 2013, and they are building to that. There future is so bright, they may in fact need to wear shades.They’ve cracked open the piggy-bank, even to a ridiculous level, but in that spend-gasm they have sent the message they intend to field a competitive team built around the young phenoms in Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper.  The pitching staff is solid, although unspectacular.

Downside: Timing…this is the year the Gnats take a step toward the future by finishing in front of the meltdown known as the Mets. But this year is the last year before the expectations are going to go up. They can still be terrible this year, but if they finish fifth in 2013, they may just become a red version of the Cubs.

What Happened:

Jayson Werth, who the Gnats signed to lead the offense for 7 years, $126 million, is doing exactly that. Trouble is he’s doing it at .248.

28)  San Diego Padres – Opening Day Rank #22

What We Said:

Upside: You really can’t beat the weather in San Diego…and they still have a nice, albeit thin,  pitching staff.

Downside:  The competitive days are over, at least for a while. With the departure of Adrian Gonzalez, this team will be in rebuilding mode for a while.

What Happened:

Exactly what we thought.  It is hard to win when you have only two guys who have scored 20 runs.

29) Houston Astros – Opening Day Rank #25 ↓ 4

What We Said:

Upside:  See the Tampa Bay Rays…hopefully the nightmare is over soon.  Last year saw the Astros had a fire sale which leaves them arguably as a Texas version of the Pirates, although I’m not sure the are as good as the Pirates. After the carnage, they are left with a team consisting of a pitching staff starring a warmed-over Brett Myers and a pseudo-talented outfield. Hunter Pence is entering his prime and coming off a .282/25/91 season and now carries the torch as Houston’s best player. In left field, Carlos Lee still can put up some power numbers, although he’s is begin to show the signs of age. Michael Bourn swiped 52 bases last season and  Jason Michaels can play all three outfield positions.

Downside: Look at the Upside. Hunter Pence is your best player. Brett Myers is your best pitcher.  The credible concept has been floated you are worse than the Pirates <shudders>.

What Happened:

The theory about the Astros being worse than the Pirates has proven true.

30) Minnesota Twins – Opening Day Rank #7 ↓ 23

What We Said:

Upside: No matter what, this team always gets a miracle out of somebody when they need it, as in Jim Thome last year.

Downside: They might need that miracle, because this team really underwhelms me on paper, especially if this Morneau concussion situation keeps dragging on. Besides, to be honest, I’m growing weary of the Twins model – start slow, finish strong, get crushed by the Yankees in October.

What Happened:

This team is the yang to the Indians’ yin. While everything has gone right in Cleveland, the wheels fell off in Minnesota sometime around April 20th. The entire roster falls into two categories: injured or under-performing.  On offense, Jason Kubel is the only player exceeding expectations,  but even his numbers are spectacularly mediocre. Denard Span is probably performing about where we thought he would, better than last year but not as good as in 2008 or 2009.  The staring pitching outside of Pavano and Liriano has been tolerable, but the bullpen has only 2 arms with ERAs under4.00 (Glen Perkins and Matt Capps).





Open Letter to Los Angeles Laker Fans – Don’t Lose Sight of the 20 Guys You Should Really Hate

11 05 2011

When one talks of “flagship franchise,” it is hard to discuss the National Basketball Association without mentioning the Los Angeles Lakers in that capacity. The Lakers were the first dynasty in the history of the league, stemming all the way back to their original home from which the team name came; the City of Lakes, Minneapolis. All the way back to that era of dominance in the 1950′s through Sunday night, the Lakers have one of the greatest winning traditions in all professional sports. Even just limiting the look back to the last three decades, the Lakers have won 10 championships; which is the most of any team in any of the “Big 4″ North American sports leagues.

In all that time, this franchise has been affiliated with a litany of names which rank in basketball immortality…George Mikan, Jim Pollard, Vern Mikkelsen, John Kundla, Wilt Chamberlain, Jerry West, Elgin Baylor, Jamaal Wilkes, Magic Johnson, James Worthy, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Pat Riley, Shaquille O’Neal, Kobe Bryant, and Phil Jackson. All those men carved their initials into the championship traditions which live in Laker land, but along with those who are revered, there are those who are reviled.

The trouble is that after the worst defeat that any Laker fan had ever seen, the “reviled” list may now include a few guys who were wearing the purple and gold last night. I’ve been a Laker fan my whole life; my father has a picture in his house with his name on the scoreboard at the old Forum. But if you listened to sports radio in the Southland on Monday, you would think Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum wore turbans and had “bin Laden” somewhere in their names.  I’m not here to defend either of those guys; rather I’m here to remind Laker fans that the vitriol for the guys who have found ways to stop Los Angeles from winning should be reserved for those wearing the other team’s colors. To that end, here’s 20 examples of guys more worthy of your ire…if you need to hate on a former Laker, they are noted in purple.

20) Dennis Rodman

Rodman isn’t the only example on this list who wore a Laker uniform at one point, but there are far more reasons for Laker fans to hate him beyond his cameo in purple and gold in 1999. Before all of the tattoos, the multi-colored hair styles, and the wedding dress, Dennis Rodman was a key member of the very same “Bad Boy” Pistons who stole the NBA Title from the Lakers in 1989. Then, he joined forces with the then-hated Phil Jackson and still-hated Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen to dominate the league from 1995-1998. Then comes 1999,  where Rodman proved more of a hindrance than a help to the Lakers.

19) Sam Jones

NBA fans under the age of 60 may not remember Sam Jones, but true basketball historians can’t forget him.  Jones is the second greatest team winner in professional sports history behind fellow Boston Celtic Bill Russell; in his career, Jones won 10 NBA titles.  The Lakers claimed Jones back in their days in the North Star state, but Jones went back to school and ended up in that disgusting Celtic green. Jones ended up as one of the premier shooting guards of his era, but to Laker fans he is best known for Game 7 of the 1962 NBA Finals. In this case, Jones fouled Elgin Baylor away from what would have been a  game-winning tip-in, but the clear foul was not called. Jones went on to be a thorn in the Laker’s side for nearly another decade.

18) Ralph Sampson

The single highlight of the 7’4″ Sampson’s career was the incredible shot he hit to knock the Lakers out of the 1986 Western Conference Finals. What could have been a third consecutive year of having L.A. and Boston in the Finals was derailed by a guy who never hit a meaningful shot again.

17) John Havlicek

Yet another Celtic on this list, Havlicek was one of the best all-around players in NBA history. More importantly, as a member of the hated Green, he won eight championships, five of which came at the expense of the Lakers.

16) Don Nelson

Many people forget about Don Nelson and his role in defeating  Laker teams, including the ones he played on from 1963-1965, which is hard to imagine considering he a) also played for the Celtics and b) coached every single team in the NBA except  the Lakers, and at least 40 or 50 in Europe. He hit a bunch free throws for the Celtics sealing the 1968 NBA Finals, and the next year he hit a game-winning jumper that sealed the 11th career NBA championship for teammate Bill Russell. Not to mention, Nelson-coached teams just pissed me off; with that bullshit “Nellie-Ball, up-tempo, what’s defense?” style.

15) Scottie Pippen

Scottie Pippen will forever be known as the Robin to Michael Jordan’s Batman. Perhaps the greatest wing defender of all time, Pippen’s versatility proved to be the perfect compliment for Jordan.  Yet, it was his play with the Portland Trailblazers that really pisses off Laker’s fans. Known for his dirty play, Pippen nearly helped Portland pull off a huge upset in the 2000 Western Conference Finals, and when the Trail Blazers lost to the Lakers, Pippen acted a lot like Andrew Bynum except without the bush-league foul.

14) Willis Reed

Everybody loves to trot out that 1970 Championship game where the ambulance dropped Reed at mid-court and he single-handedly willed the Knicks to beat the Lakers, cure cancer, and cause a warp in the space-time continuum ensuring the sorry-ass Knicks would always relevant.  Lakers fans love to remember the dominant 1971-1972 team which won a record 33 consecutive games, but the Reed-led Knicks won two out of three Finals series against the Lakers between 1970 and 1973.

13) Paul Pierce

For a guy who grew up in the shadow of the old Forum, playing against the Lakers seems to bring out the best in Pierce.; his 26.0 ppg career average against Los Angeles is his highest against any team. Then there is the “wheelchair incident” from the 2008 Finals, where he faked an injury to have his own “Willis Reed” moment and put the momentum back on the Celtics’ side en route to a Finals MVP performance.

12) Isaiah Thomas

God, I hate this little cocksucker. At least history has shown him to be a complete piece of shit, so I’m validated.  As the leader of all those “burn-in-hell” Pistons teams of the late ’80′s, its bad enough he pulled that record 25 point performance in the third quarter of Game 6 of the 1988 Finals against the Lakers despite playing on a severely sprained ankle. The following year, Thomas helped lead Detroit to a four-game sweep over an injury-depleted Laker squad, then celebrated on-court as if he had just single-handedly made the entire city of Detroit NOT a third-world shithole.

11) Tim Duncan

Duncan bored that whale to sleep, then scored 25 on it.

The old Roberta Flack song “Killing Me Softly” should be about Tim Duncan. Known as the “The Big Fundamental,” Duncan is one of the best bigs in the history of the game, but watching him play is like watching concrete harden.  Unfortunately for Lakers fans, his reign came during the Lakers dynasty years led by Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant, and on more than on occasion he hardened that concrete around the feet of the Lakers and sank them (see 1999 and 2003).

10) Ray Allen

Allen is the best long-range shooter in NBA history, and he has pumped more than one sniper round into the Lakers. In Game 2 of last year’s Finals against LA, he hit a record eight three-pointers. However, Laker fans will  always relish his 0-13 debacle a few days later in Game 3. Depsite that, Allen was clutch in Boston’s win over the Lakers in 2008.

9) Kevin Garnett

Similar to the other members of the Celtics on this enemies list, Garnett is know to Laker fans for one distinguishing trait. In Garnett’s case, he is so good at setting a moving screen he should be a pulling guard in the NFL. He also doesn’t get nearly the credit he deserves for being a cheap-shot artist.

8 ) Bill Russell

Do you see the pattern developing here…another asshole in Celtic green. He got a pass for all the racist bullshit he had to endure in Boston, but Russell was as mean and arrogant as any player the NBA has seen (nobody ever talks about how many fights he started). All in all, as arguably the greatest player of all-time, and certainly the best rebounder and shot blocker of all-time, Russell emerged victorious over the Lakers seven times without a loss.

7) Bill Laimbeer

Here’s a guy who embodied what was wrong with those cheap-ass, punk-bitch Pistons teams of the 80′s. Laimbeer holds a special place in the hearts Lakers fans…actually, he was despised everywhere except Detroit. The Laimbeer model was to absolutely shit-hammer defenseless players, then flop like a soccer player as the slightest breeze.

6) Chauncey Billups

For some reason, Billups is a player that seems to play his best against the Lakers. One shouldn’t be surprised as he started his career with the Boston Celtics. Yet, it was 2004 as a Detroit Piston which earned his place on this list. Billups put up a performance for the ages when he led Detroit to a championship by averaging 21 points per game while shooting 51% from the floor, 47% from 3-point land, and 93% from the stripe.

5) Walt Frazier

Willis Reed’s comeback in Game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals totally overshadowed Walt Frazier being the MVP of that game. In securing the big win for the Knicks, Frazier poured in 36 points and 19 assists against the Lakers. Then for good measure, he reprised that role in the 1973 Finals win against LA.

4) Karl Malone

Malone was known for years as being a dirty player, throwing elbows and setting hard picks. Along the way, Malone proved himself as the greatest scoring power forward in NBA history.  In 1997 and 1998, Malone’s dominant play helped bounce the Lakers from the playoffs.  For years, the Lakers wanted to lure Malone to Los Angeles. But, he stayed in Utah until he could finally be a broken down old wreck as a Laker.

3) Michael Jordan

“The greatest player of all time.” That completely fraudulent statement is reason enough alone to hate MJ; but that rant is for another time. There’s no denying he had his moments of dominance against the Lakers; in the 1991 NBA Finals, MJ averaged 31.2 points per game, 11.4 assists, and 2.8 steals, while shooting 56% percent from the field.

2) Larry Bird

Note the blood on Bird's uniform...it ain't his.

The Bottom Line: The greatest player to wear the evil Celtic green during that Magic-Bird rivalry era in the 80′s has to be on the list, and high on it at that. As a leader of the Celtics, Bird represents everything a Lakers fan hates.

1) Kevin McHale

For the longest time, I wanted Kevin McHale dead. And not just dead; I wanted to drink beer out of his hollowed-out skull and piss on what was left of him. But his complete and total failure as an NBA general manager ensured I will never see him as anything other that a talking head. Most Laker fans remember McHale for his clothesline of Kurt Rambis in the 1894 Finals. Had that flagrant foul happened in the NBA of today, he would have been suspended and fined. Instead, this play seemed to help shift some of the series momentum towards Boston, and McHale showed the world yet another Celtics player willing to be a cheap bitch.

Honorable Mention -  Phil Jackson

Let’s not forget what Jackson was before his stints as the Laker coach and the 5 championships he won in Los Angeles. Don’t forget Jackson was a key member of the Knicks teams that beat the Lakers in 1970 and 1973.  Let’s not forget the six titles he coached the Bulls to in the 90′s. If it weren’t for those five Laker rings, he would have had to be on this list.  Maybe he should be anyway…





Dubsism Enters The PodCast World

8 05 2011

If in the 15th century, Dante could envision concentric, progressive levels of hell, he would have a field day with today’s blogosphere. I’m not sure which level Dubsism lands on for going from simple blogger to guest commentator on a podcast put together by respectable people, but the move has been made. Topics range from the NBA Playoffs to the scandal growing around Ohio State football, with a wide range in between. Don’t miss a word by going to http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/97999.





Guest Column: Joe McGrath on Frank McCourt and The Los Angeles Dodgers

6 05 2011

Editor’s Note: Mr. McGrath has long and storied history in the management of professional sports franchises, most notably as the general manager of the Charlestown Chiefs of the now-defunct Federal League. Oh, and this is probably a good time to mention that Mr. McGrath’s views are his own, and do not necessarily reflect those of Dubsism, our staff, or anybody else whose house you might want to burn to the ground.

For the love of God, I just don’t understand this. The shit happening with the Mets, that’s easy to understand. All that happened there was a few guys got greedy, now they are going to be broke. That story is more prevalent than pee smell in a bus station bathroom. But this McCourt guy must be the dumbest guy on the planet. I mean, the Dodgers were a great franchise once, but through a series of stupid decisions, he’s turned them into a Double-A team with a 60,000 seat stadium. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the minor leagues, there’s some great people in places like Charlestown and Peterborough. But Los Angeles has what, like 20 million people? That’s not a minor league market. It would take me fifteen home games in Charlestown to sell 60,000 tickets, and the goddamn Dodgers can do it anytime the Giants come to town.

Not to mention, this asshole McCourt owns the stadium, which means he controls the parking, the concessions, and all the other revenue streams. It also means he doesn’t have a landlord trying to bang him out of all that revenue. Back in Charlestown, I had a landlord that used to screw me out of every dime he could, and he never once tossed one of those dimes toward lube, if you know what I mean.

And on top of that, this guy had the commissioner of the goddamn league escort him into the ownership ranks, and it is that very same commissioner who is clipping his wings. This is why I keep asking myself how did McCourt fuck this up as badly as he did?

To me, the first mistake he made was making his wife the CEO of the team. Who in the hell wants to go to work every day and see their goddamn wife? Not mention, he didn’t make her the secretary or some other job fit for a woman, he makes her the goddamn CEO! Now, he has to listen to all her bullshit, from what flavor the urinal cakes are to which players you think she wants to fuck. Worse yet, when the marriage is over (like when he caught her banging her chauffeur) he not only has to divorce her, but fire her as well. And better yet, making her an officer of the organization punched a nice, fat hole in any pre-nuptial agreement they may have had.  This is exactly why all of us got to hear the accusations from Frank, in  a public letter no less,  about Jamie’s “insubordination, non-responsiveness, failure to follow procedures, and inappropriate behavior with regard to a direct subordinate (that’s the ‘fucking the chauffeur’ part).”

Oh, and for good measure, he changed the locks on her office.  Now, I’m no Dr. Phil, but shit like that tells me there were problems long before Frank found the chauffer’s dick in his wife. So, what could have possibly been wrong before the eve of the 2009 NLCS when Frank McCourt filed for divorce?

The first hint there was some crazy shit going on was when it came out the pair had hired a faith healer in Boston to watch Dodger games on TV and send “positive vibes” their way. I don’t even know what to say about that.

Then there’s Jamie, who while she refused to accept her firing, sent her chauffeur/fuck-buddy to Taiwan as an “Official Dodger Ambassador.” What the hell is that all about? Does she feel the need to make sure the Dodger disabled list never runs out of guys like Hong-Chi Kuo? Or is she worried about the future of the organization now that they let a talent like Chin-Lung Hu to escape to the Mets?

Then there’s the ownership of the stadium.  Frank McCourt owns the stadium, but he is playing a financial shell game by charging his own team big-time rent. The whole reason he is doing that is it somehow allows him to hide money from his ex-wife.  I understand not getting rooked on a divorce, but how much work do you have to go through to hide a roll of dimes? The  guy is broke, the Dodgers do not have the cash to meet their May 31 payroll, and this guy is telling me “everything is just fine.”

Here’s the part I really don’t get – what the hell is this deal $3 billion dollar deal with Fox all about? McCourt keeps saying all these problems go away if we could just get the trigger pulled on that deal. So, then why the hell isn’t that happening? Probably because nobody trusts McCourt’s book-keeping, and when you consider that Fox has already loaned McCourt a ton of cash, I’d be willing to bet there is some sort of “secret deal” between McCourt and Fox that  Selig wants no part of.  This is exactly why Selig made the move he did; he wants an honest accounting of the Dodgers’ finances, and it was clear that was never going to happen until he had McCourt’s balls in a vice.

So, after all that shit, McCourt still doesn’t get that the guy who brought him into the league can sure as hell kick him out? For that alone, this guy is the stupidest man on the planet.





People Who Grind My Gears: Tony Dungy

5 05 2011

I’m just going to come out and say it…Tony Dungy irritates the shit out of me. Dungy is a guy who, except for one accidentally successful moment, really should be relegated to the backwater of NFL history.  But because we live in a society that believes anybody who won a Super Bowl automatically has opinions worth anything, I now am forced to hear the shit this sanctimonious butt-loaf spews.

First, let’s talk about Tony Dungy, the coach. I’m not saying he was a bad coach, but he sure as hell wasn’t the great coach people want me to believe he was. Dungy had an outstanding regular season record (139-69 in 13 seasons) but so did lots of other coaches. Go look at the list of guys who have better winning percentages than Dungy, and the first thing you will notice is that you never heard of at least half of them. Why? Because it is the post-season that matters, and this is where Dungy couldn’t get it done; he’s a sub-.500 playoff coach.

I know, this is the part where you’re going to tell me Dungy won a Super Bowl – which means this is the part where I define “accidentally successful.”

  • Dungy was matched up against Lovie Smith; unless the earth opened up and swallowed the stadium, one of those two had to win.
  • Lovie Smith thought it was a good idea to keep Rex “3 turnovers, but fuck it, I’m going deep anyway” Grossman on the field.
  • Tony Dungy has the lowest playoff winning percentage of any Super Bowl winning coach.

I rest my case…accidentally successful. It’s important because that one Super Bowl ring seems to be a license for him to say some things  I find infuriating from their self-righteous and condescending nature.  Since Dungy has appointed himself as America’s moral compass, he has carved out a nice niche for himself based strictly on being publicly better than you.  Granted, his sanctimony means he doesn’t sound like the carbon-copy blow-dries with which the sports media overflows, but it also makes him a pontificating douchebag everywhere else. Look at some of the crap he gets away with saying…

“If I’m Reggie Bush I give back the trophy and say you know what, I was the best player in college football. You know that. And I know that regardless of what may or may not have happened off the field, I was the best player. So here, you take the trophy but you won’t take the memories.”

“I’m disappointed with all the profanity. I think Rex can make his points without all that.”

“As a Christian, I follow the Biblical model of how a community should be structured-wisdom should be passed down from elders to juniors, and when that doesn’t happen the results won’t be good.”

There’s a couple of problems here. First of all, everything Dungy says is completely inoffensive on its face. It is always later when I realize that I just got another dose of this asshole’s self-serving, “holier-than-thou” pseudo-ministry. It is later when I realize “Wait a minute…who the fuck does this guy think he is?” Look at the three examples I mentioned. Re-read them a couple of time and you will see what I mean. Notice that everything is about his way of doing things is better than anybody else’s. This isn’t the first time I’ve called Dungy out on shit like this, and it probably won’t the last; if you follow that link, you see an exercise comparing Rex Ryan’s leadership style to Dungy’s.

That is an important comparison because Dungy believes his approach to be superior. The trouble is that true leadership doesn’t come from an approach, it comes from the leader themselves. We’ve done an excellent job in this country of creating at least two successive generations which contain an astonishingly high number of complete pussies. The business world is dripping with them; walk into any conference room in America and you will see ten people whose entire goal for the day is to not have to make a decision for fear of pissing somebody off. You will see ten people who believe leadership skills come from a book. You will also see ten people who won’t criticize Dungy because a) his kid killed himself and/or b) he hides behind religion.

And there it is, gang…the turd in the Dungy punchbowl. I used to really like Tony Dungy until he became righteous for profit. He took a great personal tragedy, the Super Bowl ring Lovie Smith handed him, and and created a nice little empire for himself being a corporate snake-oil salesman. If you doubt that, go to his website, strip off all the God stuff and tell me what you see…a guy selling you another leadership book.

Make no mistake, Dungy’s halo is clearly for sale. Once I realized that, all the other bullshit he says makes sense. He got some publicity out of Reggie Bush, he got a whole boatload from Rex Ryan, but nobody’s done more for Dungy’s bank account than Michael Vick. I’m not linking any more stuff for Dungy, but suffice it to say that if you were to do a Google  search of  “tony dungy michael vick,” you would get a ton of results, all of which will contain some varying flavor of a story about how Dungy’s mentorship allowed the rehabilitation of Vick.

This is how Dungy became the patron saint of football. The problem is all that flowery crap about leadership, mentoring, and God hides the damage Dungy does. For example, Dungy is pretty much the entire reason Michael Vick had to serve a two-game suspension upon his release from prison. Never mind how patently ridiculous it was to suspend a guy who just served the better part of two years in a federal prison, Commissioner Roger Goodell felt it neccesary to show America how big his dick was by forcing Vick to supplicate himself for reinstatement. He would have not likely needed to do that had Dungy not shot his mouth off questioning the completion of Vick’s rehabilitation.  Dungy milked that for all it was worth; and it was worth his next saved penitent.

In what may be the best evidence yet that Dungy’s work is more about being an image consultant, take the case of Mike Locksley.

But perhaps the best place to observe Dungy’s motives—and their consequences, intended and not—is Albuquerque, New Mexico. {In September of 2009}, the University of New Mexico football program found itself embroiled in a sports PR nightmare. The Lobos’ head coach, Mike Locksley, had allegedly choked and punched one of his assistant coaches, J.B. Gerald, during a staff meeting. The incident was a made-for-ESPN melodrama: The school was embarrassed, and Locksley, a first-year coach, looked completely out of his depth. He was suspended by the university for 10 days.

Then, out of the desert, Dungy appeared. Just as he had Michael Vick, the coach took on Locksley as a mentee. The story quickly morphed from one of violence and scandal into one of redemption—another lost soul taken under Dungy’s wing. Locksley later said, “I see Coach Dungy being a guy with a wealth of experience and knowledge, not just in football, but in life.”

How had Dungy found his new disciple? Well, that’s where the story becomes a parable about the difference between rehabilitating a person and rehabilitating a reputation. Six weeks after the Locksley incident, the Albuquerque Journal unearthed an email that said Dungy had been called to mentor duty by a communications firm, Sports Media Challenge. According to its Web site, Sports Media Challenge has worked with athletes like Peyton Manning, Dungy’s former quarterback, to teach them to “maximize public exposure while minimizing its risks.” Here the PR risk-reward factor seemed clear: Who better to vouch for a fallen coach than football’s resident saint?

But, then there’s the downside:

For instance, Dungy often says he likes to work within the system…Problem is, Dungy’s insistence on working within the system often lets the system off the hook. Michael Vick is a great example. What Vick needed after leaving federal prison wasn’t just an advocate with the press; it was an advocate in the NFL. Commissioner Roger Goodell made Vick come on bended knee to apply for reinstatement. The quarterback was humiliated and forced to personally apologize. Even with that, and no evidence Vick would hurt a poodle, Goodell suspended Vick for two more games before he could play for the Philadelphia Eagles. This is the kind of sniggering authority figure that should not be worked with but laughed at. By negotiating with Goodell, Dungy merely dignified his punishment regime.

The second problem is that Dungy’s saintliness often obscures the facts of the case. The Mike Locksley fiasco at New Mexico was actually quite haunting. The assistant coach, J.B. Gerald, told ESPN that on September 20, Locksley jumped into his lap and “put his hands around my collar and neck and was choking me. He’s pulling me up out of the chair, and I grabbed his hands so I could get them off my neck.”

As other coaches tried to intervene, Gerald said that Locksley “was throwing punches and hit me right in the mouth. I could taste the blood in my mouth.” (Locksley admitted there was pushing and shoving but denied punching or choking Gerald.) The upshot was that without such a high-profile mentor, J.B. Gerald, another young, African-American coach, was finished at New Mexico. (Gerald reportedly asked for a $500,000 settlement.) The question is whether Dungy had saved Locksley’s soul or merely saved his job.

For the University of New Mexico, though, Dungy’s mere presence produced nothing but a mountain of good publicity. Kathleen Hessert, of Sports Media Challenge, said she has a proprietary Internet search engine that measures buzz (how much a sports figure is being talked about) and the sentiment (how positive or negative the talk is). And once Dungy reached out to Locksley, both scores were off the charts.

“The buzz was a 10 and the sentiment was highly positive,” Hessert said. “People were saying, ‘Obviously, [Locksley is] getting the help he needs to be a positive coach here and obviously he’s serious about it, getting somebody like Tony Dungy to mentor him.’”

Perhaps that’s unfair; maybe Dungy really is America’s moral compass, and maybe he is only as good at that as he is at winning in the playoffs.





Frank McCourt Needs a Minister of Information

4 05 2011

Do you remember this guy? His name is Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, but you likely know him as “Baghdad Bob.”   We all came to know him during the 2003 invasion of Iraq, during which he was the Iraqi Information Minister under Saddam Hussein.

Realistically, he was a comical figure as a mouthpiece for Saddam’s regime; his specialty was laughably myopic and propagandized malarchy, extolling the invincibility of the Iraqi Army while the 3rd Infantry and 1st Marine Divisions were “Doing the Dougie” down main street Baghdad. The lies he spread were intended for an Iraqi domestic audience subject to Saddam’s cult of personality and total state censorship, but once they made it into the Western media, they were met with widespread howls of laughter and derision.

Frank McCourt should hire him immediately.

If you’ve heard any of McCourt’s recent appearances on sports radio, it is clear he is unable to sell his own bullshit; he clearly needs a professional.  McCourt continues to spout the Dodger party line that Major League Baseball’s seizure of the club is “Un-American” and that “nothing is wrong with the Dodgers” even in the face of reports that the Dodgers don’t have the cash to make payroll this month.

NEW YORK (AP)—Major League Baseball believes the Los Angeles Dodgers do not have enough money to make their end of May payroll, a person familiar with the team’s finances told The Associated Press. The person spoke Wednesday on condition of anonymity because MLB’s investigation of the team’s finances under owner Frank McCourt is ongoing. The Los Angeles Times first reported that the Dodgers lacked the cash to make their May 31 payroll. The person said that if the Dodgers don’t have the money, MLB would step in and make payroll.

“The fact that we had obligations coming due in 2011 was no surprise to us and no surprise to Major League Baseball,” Dodgers owner Frank McCourt said in a statement to the AP.

“We developed a plan which eventually became the Fox transaction. We’ve been working on that plan, in different versions, for the last six months,” McCourt said. “That is a transaction that is now completely negotiated, ready to be signed, and ready to be closed. It’s the series of delays in allowing us to close this transaction that has created the problem here. Otherwise, there would be no problem here. My recent investment into the club was necessitated by the delay.”

McCourt has publicly complained Selig has refused to approve a 17-year contract with Fox that could be worth more than $3 billion, a deal that would include a front-loaded payment of about $300 million.

The commissioner’s office effectively took control of the team on April 20, and former Texas Rangers president Tom Schieffer was appointed the team’s monitor six days later by baseball Commissioner Bud Selig.  Schieffer must approve any transaction over $5,000.

Based on its opening-day payroll of $103.8 million, the Dodgers’ payroll for its major league roster in the second half of May will be approximately $8.25 million. The figure includes 16 days salary, but not any signing bonus payments that happen to fall due.

McCourt, involved in a contentious divorce, took a $30 million loan from Fox, the team’s television partner, in the weeks leading up to Selig’s decision to appoint a monitor. Baseball was concerned that McCourt was removing assets from the franchise, once considered one of the premier teams in the sport.

Let’s imagine that instead of saying shit nobody believes himself, let’s say McCourt has hired the Minister of Information to do the bullshitting for him…

REPORTER: Is it true the Dodgers don’t have the money to make payroll this month?

MINISTER: Absolutely not. In fact, not only do we have the money for this month’s payroll, we actually have enough money to pay every salary of every employee on the planet for the next 5o years. We have deliberately portrayed ourselves in a financially weak manner to lure our enemies into a false sense of security.

REPRORTER: If that’s true, then why did McCourt take that $20 million loan from Fox.

MINISTER: Again, that was part of our deception. We have actually already repaid that loan in full, in cash wired into an off-shore bank account, and the Fox people trust us implicitly, so there was no need for such bothersome details like receipts.

REPORTER: Uh-huh…So then why such urgency to get the deal with Fox, and it’s front-load of $300 million.

No matter what Saddam McCourt says, his regime is over.

MINISTER: When you have as much money as we do, it is essential that you maintain a certain level of liquidity in all the important currencies – Deutschmarks, Francs, Pound Sterling, Japanese Yen, Monopoly, et cetera…One of our advisors, one who is no longer with us, gave us some erroneous advice that the stone currency used on the island of Yap was an excellent hedge against inflation, and once we invested $500 billion in that currency, we found it was nearly impossible on a near-term basis to trade back out of that platform.

You get the idea…and if the Minister of Information isn’t available, may I suggest Jon Lovitz?





The Dubsism Comprehensive NFL Draft Review – What We Told Them vs. What They Did

2 05 2011

Things to Remember:

  • References to the “Kiper Theory” are ironically based on our Dubsism Anti-Kiper NFL Draft Board.
  • We refused to change our board based on hype, workouts, or Todd McShay. As the only draft prognosticator who actually watches college football earlier than December, we based our rankings on something simple: the guy we thought would be the best NFL player. We covered as to why we reject conventional wisdom in our Team-by-Team warning about the NFL Draft.
  • The more Mel Kiper disagrees with us, the more we believe we are right.  At the same time, we have undying respect for a guy we also think is a complete fraud. Kiper never stands behind things he says unless he happened to be right, and he changes his mind constantly in the run up to the draft. On the other hand, how can you not respect a guy who has made a whole career and millions of dollars out of saying “Trev Alberts sucks?”

Things We Got Right:

Guys we had in the First Round who were actually drafted in the First Round:

  • Nick Fairley, DT, Auburn (Dubsism rank #1, Drafted #13 Overall by Detroit)
  • Patrick Peterson, CB, LSU (Dubsism rank #3, Drafted #5 Overall by Arizona)
  • A.J. Green, WR Georgia (Dubsism rank #4, Drafted #4 Overall by Cincinnati)
  • Prince Amukamara, CB, Nebraska (Dubsism rank #5, Drafted #19 Overall by New York Giants)
  • Aldon Smith, OLB, Missouri (Dubsism rank #6, Drafted #7 Overall by San Francisco)
  • Ryan Kerrigan, DE, Purdue (Dubsism rank #7, Drafted #16 Overall by Washington)
  • Gabe Carimi, OT, Wisconsin (Dubsism rank #8, Drafted #29 Overall by Chicago)
  • Marcell Dareus, DE, Alabama (Dubsism rank #9, Drafted #3 by Buffalo)
  • Derek Sherrod, OT, Mississippi State (Dubsism rank #10, Drafted #32 Overall by Green Bay)
  • Muhammad Wilkerson, DT, Temple (Dubsism rank #11, Drafted #30 by New York Jets)
  • Von Miller, OLB, Texas A&M  (Dubsism rank #12, Drafted #2 Overall by Denver)
  • Julio Jones, WR,  Alabama (Dubsism rank #15, Drafted #6 Overall by Atlanta)
  • Adrian Clayborn, DE, Iowa (Dubsism rank #16, Drafted #20 Overall by Tampa Bay)
  • Nate Solder, OT,  Colorado (Dubsism rank #17, Drafted #17 Overall by New England)
  • Cameron Jordan, DE, California (Dubsism rank #18, Drafted #24 Overall by New Orleans)
  • Tyron Smith, OT, USC (Dubsism rank #19, Drafted #9 Overall by Dallas)
  • Mike Pouncey, C, Florida (Dubsism rank #20, Drafted #15 Overall by Miami)
  • Robert Quinn, DE, North Carolina (Dubsism rank #22,  Drafted #14 Overall by St. Louis)
  • Jake Locker, QB, Washington (Dubsism rank #23, Drafted #8 Overall by Tennessee)
  • J.J. Watt, DE, Wisconsin (Dubsism rank #24, Drafted #11 Overall by Houston)
  • Anthony Castonzo, OT, Boston College (Dubsism rank #25, Drafted #22 Overall by Indianapolis)
  • Mark Ingram, RB,  Alabama (Dubsism rank #26, Drafted #28 Overall by New Orleans)
  • Cameron Heyward, DE, Ohio State (Dubsism rank #27, Drafted #31 Overall by Pittsburgh)
  • Corey Liuget, DT, Illinois (Dubsism rank #28, Drafted #18 Overall by San Diego)
  • Blaine Gabbert, QB, Missouri (Dubsism rank #30, Drafted #10 Overall by Jacksonville)

Things We Got Wrong:

Guys we had in the First Round who were not drafted in the First Round:

  • Da’Quan Bowers, DE, Clemson (Dubsism rank #2, Drafted #51st Overall by Tampa Bay)
  • Stephen Paea, DT,  Oregon State (Dubsism rank #13, Drafted #53rd Overall by Chicago)
  • Rahim Moore, S, UCLA (Dubsism rank #14, Drafted #45th Overall by Denver)
  • Akeem Ayers, OLB, UCLA (Dubsism rank #21, Drafted #39th Overall by Tennessee )
  • Kyle Rudolf, TE, Notre Dame (Dubsism rank # 29, Drafted #43rd Overall by Minnesota)
  • Justin Houston, OLB, Georgia (Dubsism rank #31, Drafted #70 Overall by Kansas City)
  • Allen Bailey, DE, Miami FL (Dubsism rank #32, Drafted #86th Overall by Kansas City)

Guys we did not have in the First Round who were in fact drafted in the First Round:

  • Cam Newton, QB, Auburn (Dubsism rank #55, Ranked as the #5 quarterback prospect, Drafted #1 Overall)
  • Christian Ponder, QB, Florida State (Not Ranked in the Dubsism Top 64, Ranked as the #12 Quarterback prospect, Drafted #12 Overall by Minnesota)
  • Phil Taylor, DT, Baylor (Not Ranked in the Dubsism Top 64, Ranked as the #10 Defensive Tackle prospect, Drafted #21 Overall by Cleveland)
  • Danny Watkins, G, Baylor (Not Ranked in the Dubsism Top 64, Ranked as the #15 Offensive Tackle prospect, Drafted #23 Overall by Philadelphia)
  • James Carpenter, OT, Alabama (Not Ranked in the Dubsism Top 64, Not Ranked as an Offensive Tackle prospect, Drafted #25 Overall by Seattle)
  • Jonathan Baldwin, WR, Pittsburgh (Dubsism rank #45, Ranked #3 wide receiver prospect, Drafted #26 Overall by Kansas City)

Guys We Rated in our Top 64 who were not drafted:

  • Matt Reynolds, OT, BYU (Ranked #38 overall, ranked #6 offensive tackle prospect) – decided to return for his senior year after the original draft board was published
  • Jared Crick, DT, Nebraska (Ranked #39 overall, ranked #7 defensive tackle prospect) – decided to return for his senior year after the original draft board was published
  • Jerrod Johnson, QB, Texas A&M (Ranked #48 overall, ranked #4 quaterback prospect) – running a 4.75 40-yard dash at the combine will help you not get drafted
  • John Clay, RB, Wisconsin (Ranked #60 overall, ranked #7 running back prospect) – coming off injuries and running a 4.83…you do the math.

Stats and Kinky Facts:

  • 254 Total Picks
  • 27 Compensatory picks
  • 96 Picks were traded

Picks by Position:

  • CB – 39
  • WR – 28
  • RB – 27
  • OLB – 26
  • DE – 22
  • OT – 20
  • DT – 20
  • OG – 18
  • S – 14
  • QB – 12
  • E – 12
  • ILB – 8
  • FB – 3
  • C – 3
  • K – 1
  • P – 1

 Picks by Conference/League  and School:

1) SEC – 38

  • 6 – Georgia
  • 6 – LSU
  • 5 – Alabama
  • 4 – Auburn
  • 4 – Florida
  • 4 – Mississippi State
  • 3 – Arkansas
  • 2 – South Carolina
  • 2 – Tennessee
  • 1 -  Kentucky
  • 1 -  Mississippi

2) ACC – 35

  • 9 – North Carolina
  • 8 – Miami (FL)
  • 6 – Clemson
  • 3 – Florida State
  • 3 – Virginia Tech
  • 2 – Maryland
  • 1 – Boston College
  • 1 – Georgia Tech
  • 1 – North Carolina State
  • 1 – Virginia

3) Pac-10 – 31

  • 10 – USC
  • 4 – Stanford
  • 3 – Arizona
  • 3 – California
  • 3 – Oregon State
  • 3 – UCLA
  • 2 – Washington
  • 1 – Arizona State
  • 1 – Oregon
  • 1 – Washington State

4) Big 12 – 30

  • 7 – Nebraska
  • 4 – Baylor
  • 4 – Colorado
  • 4 – Oklahoma
  • 4 – Texas
  • 3 – Missouri
  • 1 – Kansas State
  • 1 – Oklahoma State
  • 1 – Texas A&M
  • 1 – Texas Tech

5) Big Ten – 29

  • 6 – Iowa
  • 5 – Ohio State
  • 5 – Wisconsin
  • 4 – Illinois
  • 2 – Indiana
  • 2 – Michigan
  • 2 – Michigan State
  • 2 – Penn State
  • 1 – Purdue

6) Big East – 22

  • 5 – Pittsburgh
  • 4 – Connecticut
  • 4 – West Virginia
  • 3 – Louisville
  • 3 – South Florida
  • 2 – Syracuse
  • 1 – Cincinnati

7) WAC – 18

  • 3 – Boise State
  • 3 – Hawaii
  • 3 – Idaho
  • 3 – Nevada
  • 2 – Fresno State
  • 2 – San Diego State
  • 1 – New Mexico State
  • 1 – Utah State

8 ) FCS (The league formerly known as I-AA) - 15

  • 3 – Appalachian State
  • 1 – Citadel
  • 1 – Florida A&M
  • 1 – Hampton
  • 1 – Lehigh
  • 1 – Missouri State
  • 1 – Montana
  • 1 – Montana State
  • 1 – Richmond
  • 1 – Southern Illinois
  • 1 – Stephen F. Austin
  • 1 – Villanova
  • 1 – Yale

9) D-II – 10

  • 1 – Abilene Christian
  • 1 – Alabama A&M
  • 1 – Califfornia (PA)
  • 1 – Central Arkansas
  • 1 – Eastern Washington
  • 1 – Portland State
  • 1 – Slippery Rock
  • 1 – South Carolina State
  • 1 – Tennessee-Chattanooga
  • 1 – West Texas A&M

10) MWC – 8

  • 5 – TCU
  • 2 – Utah
  • 1 – Wyoming

11) Sun Belt – 5

  • 1 – Arkansas State
  • 1 – Florida Atlantic
  • 1 – Florida International
  • 1 – Middle Tennessee State
  • 1 – Troy

12) MAC – 4

  • 2 – Temple
  • 1 – Buffalo
  • 1 – Marshall

13) D-III – 2

  • 1 – Bethel (TN)
  • 1 – Mount Union

 14) Independent – 1

  • 1 – Notre Dame

Your Nominees for Guy Most Likely to go all “Ryan Leaf” on you (in other words, to be drafted early only to flame-out even earlier):

  • Cam Newton, QB, Auburn
  • Christian Ponder, QB, Florida State
  • James Carpenter, OT, Alabama
  • Jabaal Sheard, DE, Pittsburgh
  • Kyle Rudolph, TE, Notre Dame

Your Nominees for Guy Most likely to go all “Terrell Davis”  on you (in other words to be an impact player despite being drafted late):

  • Jeremy Kerley, WR, TCU
  • Quan Sturdivant, ILB, North Carolina
  • Jerrell Powe, DT, Mississippi
  • Greg Romeus, DE, Pittsburgh
  • Lee Ziemba, OT, Auburn

Your Nominees for Guy Most likely to go all “Tom Brady”  on you (in other words, to be an impact player despite being a Compensatory Pick):

  • Jamie Harper, RB, Clemson
  • Davon House, CB, New Mexico State
  • Pernell McPhee, DE, Mississippi State
  • Tyler Sash, S, Iowa

Last guy rated in our Top 64 to be drafted:

  • Lee Ziemba, OT, Auburn (#63 overall, ranked #7 offensive tackle prospect, drafted with 41st pick in the 7th round, the 244th overall pick)

First guy not rated in our Top 15 at any position to be drafted:

  • James Carpenter, OT, Alabama (#25 overall)

The First Round, Pick by Pick

1) Carolina Panthers

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Nick Fairley, DT, Auburn
  • What Dubsism Believed: Trade Down
  • What They Did: Cam Newton, QB, Auburn

2) Denver Broncos

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Da’Quan Bowers, DE, Clemson
  • What Dubsism Believed: Patrick Peterson, CB, LSU
  • What They Did: Von Miller, OLB, Texas A&M

3) Buffalo Bills

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Patrick Peterson, CB, LSU
  • What Dubsism Believed: A.J. Green, WR Georgia
  • What They Did: Marcell Dareus, DE, Alabama

4) Cincinnati Bengals

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: A.J. Green, WR Georgia
  • What Dubsism Believed: Trade Down
  • What They Did: A.J. Green, WR Georgia

5) Arizona Cardinals

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Prince Amukamara, CB, Nebraska
  • What Dubsism Believed: Prince Amukamara, CB, Nebraska
  • What They Did: Patrick Peterson, CB, LSU

6) Cleveland Browns (pick traded to Atlanta Falcons)

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Aldon Smith, OLB, Missouri
  • What Dubsism Believed: Da’Quan Bowers, DE, Clemson or Aldon Smith, OLB, Missouri
  • What They Did: Traded 6th pick to Atlanta in return for Atlanta’s 2011 1st round pick (27th overall), Atlanta’s 2011 2nd and 4th round picks, as well as Atlanta’s 2012 1st and 4th round picks. Atlanta used this 6th pick to take Julio Jones, WR, Alabama

7)  San Francisco 49ers

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Ryan Kerrigan, DE, Purdue
  • What Dubsism Believed: Make a Trade
  • What They Did: Aldon Smith, OLB, Missouri

8 ) Tennessee Titans

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Gabe Carimi, OT, Wisconsin
  • What Dubsism Believed: Gabe Carimi, OT, Wisconsin
  • What They Did: Jake Locker, QB, Washington

9) Dallas Cowboys

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Marcell Dareus, DE, Alabama
  • What Dubsism Believed: Ryan Kerrigan, DE, Purdue
  • What They Did: Tyron Smith, OT, USC

10) Washington Redskins (pick traded to Jacksonville)

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Derek Sherrod, OT, Mississippi State
  • What Dubsism Believes: Marcell Dareus, DE, Alabama
  • What They Did:  Traded 10th pick to Jacksonville in return for Jacksonville’s 2011 1st round pick (16th overall), Jacksonville’s 2011 2nd round pick (49th overall) Jacksonville used this 10th pick to take Blaine Gabbert, QB, Missouri.

11) Houston Texans

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Muhammad Wilkerson, DT, Temple
  • What Dubsism Believed: Cameron Jordan, DE, California
  • What They Did: J.J. Watt, DE, Wisconsin

12) Minnesota Vikings

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Von Miller, OLB, Texas A&M
  • What Dubsism Believed: Derek Sherrod, OT, Mississippi State or Make a Trade
  • What They Did: Christian Ponder, QB, Florida State

13) Detroit Lions

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Stephen Paea, DT,  Oregon State
  • What Dubsism Believed: Von Miller, OLB, Texas A&M or Stephen Paea, DT,  Oregon State
  • What They Did: Nick Fairley, DT, Auburn

14) St. Louis Rams

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Rahim Moore, S, UCLA
  • What Dubsism Believed: Julio Jones, WR, Alabama
  • What They Did: Robert Quinn, DE, North Carolina

15) Miami Dolphins

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Julio Jones, WR,  Alabama
  • What Dubsism Believed: Rahim Moore, S, UCLA
  • What They Did: Mike Pouncey, C, Florida

16) Jacksonville Jaguars

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Adrian Clayborn, DE, Iowa
  • What Dubsism Believed: Nate Solder, OT, Colorado
  • What They Did: Traded up to get Washington’s 2011 1st round pick (10th overall). As part of that deal, Washington used this 16th pick to take Ryan Kerrigan, DE, Purdue

17) New England Patriots (pick from Oakland Raiders)

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Nate Solder, OT,  Colorado
  • What Dubsism Believed: Trade Up
  • What They Did: Nate Solder, OT,  Colorado

18) San Diego Chargers

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Cameron Jordan, DE, California
  • What Dubsism Beleived: Robert Quinn, DE, North Carolina
  • What They Did: Corey Liuget, DT, Illinois

19) New York Giants

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Tyron Smith, OT, USC
  • What Dubsism Believed: Tyron Smith, OT, USC
  • What They Did: Prince Amukamara, CB, Nebraska

20) Tampa Bay Buccaneers

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Mike Pouncey, C, Florida
  • What Dubsism Believed: Mike Pouncey, C, Florida
  • What They Did: Adrian Clayborn, DE, Iowa

21) Kansas City Chiefs (pick traded to Cleveland Browns)

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Akeem Ayers, OLB, UCLA
  • What Dubsism Believed: Anthony Castonzo, OT, Boston College
  • What They Did: Traded down to the 27th overall pick that Cleveland acquired in a deal with Atlanta. Cleveland used this 21st pick to select Phil Taylor, DT, Baylor

22) Indianapolis Colts

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Robert Quinn, DE, North Carolina
  • What Dubsism Believed: Mark Ingram, RB,  Alabama or Make a Trade
  • What They Did: Anthony Castonzo, OT, Boston College

23) Philadelphia Eagles

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Jake Locker, QB, Washington
  • What Dubsism Believed: Akeem Ayers, OLB, UCLA
  • What They Did: Danny Watkins, G, Baylor

24) New Orleans Saints

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: J.J. Watt, DE,  Wisconsin
  • What Dubsism Believed: Justin Houston, OLB, Georgia
  • What They Did: Cameron Jordan, DE, California

25) Seattle Seahawks

  • What the Kiper Theory Said Anthony Castonzo, OT, Boston College
  • What Dubsism Believed: Corey Liuget, DT, Illinois
  • What They Did: James Carpenter, OT, Alabama

26) Baltimore Ravens

  • What the Kiper Theory Says: Mark Ingram, RB,  Alabama
  • What Dubsism Believed: Cameron Heyward, DE, Ohio State
  • What They Did: Passed – time ran out and Kansas City picked, then Baltimore made their selection – seems there was a mix up on a trade proposal. Eventually, they took Jimmy Smith, CB, Colorado with what is actually the 27th overall pick

27) Atlanta Falcons

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Cameron Heyward, DE, Ohio State
  • What Dubsism Believed: Allen Bailey, DE, Miami (FL)
  • What They Did: Traded up to get Cleveland’s 2011 1st round pick (6th overall). As part of that deal, Cleveland used this pick to trade up to Kansas City’s pick at 21 – Kansas City Used this Pick to take Jonathan Baldwin, WR, Pittsburgh with what is actually the 26th overall pick – See Above.

28) New England Patriots

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Corey Liuget, DT, Illinois
  • What Dubsism Believed: Muhammad Wilkerson, DT, Temple
  • What They Did: Traded down to get the New Orleans Saints 2011 2nd round pick and 2012 first round pick. Saints used this 28th  pick to take Mark Ingram, RB, Alabama

29) Chicago Bears

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Kyle Rudolf, TE, Notre Dame
  • What Dubsism Believed: Matt Reynolds, OT, BYU
  • What They Did: Gabe Carimi, OT, Wisconsin

30) New York Jets

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Blaine Gabbert, QB, Missouri
  • What Dubsism Believed: Bruce Carter, OLB, North Carolina
  • What They Did: Muhammad Wilkerson, DT, Temple

31) Pittsburgh Steelers

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Justin Houston, OLB, Georgia
  • What Dubsism Believed: Kyle Rudolf, TE, Notre Dame
  • What They Did: Cameron Heyward, DE, Ohio State

32) Green Bay Packers

  • What the Kiper Theory Said: Allen Bailey, DE, Miami FL
  • What Dubsism Believed: JJ Watt, DE, Wisconsin
  • What They Did: Derek Sherrod, OT, Mississippi State

Team-by-Team Complete Draft Analysis

1) Arizona Cardinals

  • Round 1:  Pick 5, Overall Pick #5 – Patrick Peterson, CB, LSU
  • Round 2: Pick 6,  Overall Pick #38 – Ryan Williams, RB, Virginia Tech
  • Round 3: Pick 5, Overall Pick #69 – Rob Housler, TE, Florida Atlantic
  • Round 4: Pick 6, Overall Pick #103 – Sam Acho, DE, Texas
  • Round 5: Pick 5, Overall Pick #136 – Anthony Sherman, RB, Connecticut
  • Round 6: Pick 6, Overall Pick #171 -  Quan Sturdivant, ILB, North Carolina
  • Round 6: Pick 19, Overall Pick #184 (From Tampa Bay via Philadelphia) – David Carter, DT, UCLA
  • Round 7:  Pick 46, Overall Pick #249 (Compensatory Selection) – Demarco Sampson, WR,  San Diego State

Overall Draft Grade:  B

You had to make the Peterson move if you were the Cardinals. They originally coveted Prince Amukamara, but his stock fell during the process, and they never expected Peterson would be around at the 5th pick.  Peterson was always a far superior player at the position than Amukamara (although Peterson’s future may be as a safety), so it was a no-brainer to take him. Peterson along with Quan Sturdivant means going across the middle just became as interesting for opposing receivers as a root canal with no anesthetic.

2) Atlanta Falcons

  • Round 1:  Pick 6, Overall Pick #6 (From Cleveland) – Julio Jones, WR, Alabama
  • Round 3:  Pick 27, Overall Pick #91 – Akeem Dent, ILB, Georgia
  • Round 5: Pick 14, Overall Pick #145 (From St. Louis) – Jacquizz Rodgers, RB,  Oregon State
  • Round 6: Pick 27, Overall Pick #192 – Matt Bosher, P,  Miami (FL)
  • Round 7: Pick 7, Overall Pick #210 (From Detroit) – Andrew Jackson, OG, Fresno State
  • Round 7: Pick 27, Overall Pick #230 (From New England) – Cliff Matthews, DE, South Carolina

Overall Draft Grade:  C-

Watching the Falcons draft was like watching a dog trying to run on a tile floor. They did a lot of moving, expended a ton of energy, and ultimately didn’t get very far. Granted, they did get a top-level specimen in Julio Jones, but one has to wonder if the Browns laid a bit of a “lube and shaft” job on them for the 6th overall pick; don’t forget Cleveland got Atlanta’s 2011 1st round pick (27th overall), Atlanta’s 2011 2nd and 4th round picks, as well as Atlanta’s 2012 1st and 4th round picks. It’s pretty clear the Falcons think they are just one piece away; they are just a step shy of having mortgaged their future.

3) Baltimore Ravens

  • Round 1:  Pick 27, Overall Pick #27 – Jimmy Smith, CB, Colorado
  • Round 2: Pick 26, Overall Pick #58 – Torrey Smith, WR, Maryland
  • Round 3: Pick 21, Overall Pick #85  (From Philadelphia) – Jah Reid, OT, Central Florida
  • Round 4: Pick 26, Overall Pick #123 – Tandon Doss, WR, Indiana
  • Round 5: Pick 33, Overall Pick #164 (Compensatory Selection) – Chykie Brown, CB, Texas
  • Round 5: Pick 34, Overall Pick # 165 (Compensatory Selection) – Pernell McPhee, DE, Mississippi State
  • Round 6: Pick 15, Overall Pick #180 (From St. Louis) – Tyrod Taylor, QB, Virginia Tech
  • Round 7: Pick 22, Overall Pick # 225 (From Philadelphia) – Anthony Allen, RB, Georgia Tech

Overall Draft Grade:  C

I can make an argument for liking this draft; I can make an argument for not liking it. Actually, its like the “buffet plate” draft; there’s a little something for everybody – there’s a couple of pretty good receivers for the passing game (which is in desperate need of them), there’s a couple of corners for the defense, there’s some help for the ends of both lines, and whatever Tyrod Taylor turns out to be. I could have possibly rated this draft a wee bit higher, but the “Russian Judge” in me feels the needs to dueduct a few style points for the mix-up which allowed the Chiefs to jump in front of them.

4) Buffalo Bills

  • Round 1: Pick 3, Overall Pick #3 – Marcell Dareus, DE, Alabama
  • Round 2: Pick 2, Overall Pick #34 – Aaron Williams, CB, Texas
  • Round 3: Pick 4, Overall Pick #68 – Kelvin Sheppard, OLB, LSU
  • Round 4: Pick 3, Overall Pick #100 – Da’Norris Searcy, CB, North Carolina
  • Round 4: Pick 25, Overall Pick #122 (From Seattle) – Chris Hairston, OT, Clemson
  • Round 5: Pick 2, Overall Pick #133 – Johnny White, RB, North Carolina
  • Round 6: Pick 4, Overall Pick #169 – Chris White, ILB, Mississippi State
  • Round 7: Pick 3, Overall Pick #206 – Justin Rogers, CB, Richmond
  • Round 7: Pick 42, Overall Pick #245 (Compensatory Selection) – Micheal Jasper, OG, Bethel (TN)

Overall Draft Grade: C

The Bills likely wanted a D-lineman in this spot once they knew they weren’t getting Cam Newton. Dareus is an incredible prospect who is a monster against both the pass and the run. There’s a reason why divisional rivals Miami and New England spent first-round picks on offensive lineman. Williams should be about as good as you would expect a corner can be in a league that isn’t rule-friendly to them. To me the most interesting pick is Kelvin Sheppard; it’s like a whispered admission that Aaron Maybin isn’t what they thought he was.

5) Carolina Panthers

  • Round 1: Pick 1, Overall Pick #1 – Cam Newton, QB, Auburn
  • Round 3: Pick 1, Overall Pick #65 – Terrell McClain, DT, South Florida
  • Round 3:  Pick 33, Overall Pick #97 -  Sione Fua, DT, Stanford
  • Round 4: Pick 1, Overall Pick #98 – Brandon Hogan, CB, West Virginia
  • Round 5: Pick 1, Overall Pick #132 – Kealoha Pilares, WR, Hawaii
  • Round 6: Pick 1, Overall Pick #166 – Lawrence Wilson, OLB, Connecticut
  • Round 6: Pick 38, Overall Pick #203 (Compensatory Selection) – Zack Williams, OG, Washington State
  • Round 7: Pick 41, Overall Pick #244 (Compensatory Selection) -  Lee Ziemba, OT, Auburn

Overall Draft Grade: D-

Somebody had to swallow the hype, turn a blind eye, and just fling the dice and pray. Why shouldn’t it be the team with really the least to lose? It’s not like they can get worse from this decision? If you hadn’t been paying attention in the last quarter-century and still doubt this is now a quarterback-driven league, this pick now means that quarterbacks hae been taken with the 1st overall pick 11 times in the last 14 drafts. Having said that, this is where we put our cards on the table about Cam Newton. We simply do not believe he will be an effective NFL quarterback. There’s a reason why we rated him as low on our board as we did, and we here at Dubsism stand by that call. By definition, we think Carolina is taking an unacceptable level of risk with this pick.  Have all the love affairs you want with so-called “running quarterbacks,” at some point you will have no choice but to accept the reality of what happens to them in the NFL. Other than that, there is barley enough talent in the rest of this draft so it can’t called a complete failure.

6) Chicago Bears

  • Round 1: Pick 29, Overall Pick #29 – Gabe Carimi, OT, Wisconsin
  • Round 2: Pick 21, Overall Pick #53 (From Indianapolis via Washington),  Stephen Paea, DT, Oregon State
  • Round 3: Pick 29, Overall Pick #93 – Chris Conte, S, USC
  • Round 5: Pick 29, Overall Pick #160 – Nathan Enderle, QB, Idaho
  • Round 6: Pick 30, Overall Pick #195 – J.T. Thomas, OLB, West Virginia

Overall Draft Grade: A-

If you saw the shit-hammering Jay Cutler took all season long, you know the Bears’ had no choice but  upgrade the offensive line. Plus, the same line that got Cutler nearly killed also knocked Todd Collins into retirement. The addition of a monster to the defensive line like Paea to complement Julius Peppers means the NFC North is now officially going to be a graveyard for quarterbacks.

7) Cincinnati Bengals

  • Round 1: Pick 4, Overall Pick #4 – A.J. Green, WR, Georgia
  • Round 2: Pick 3, Overall Pick #35 -  Andy Dalton, QB, TCU
  • Round 3: Pick 2, Overall Pick #66 – Dontay Moch, OLB, Nevada
  • Round 4: Pick 4, Overall Pick #101- Clint Boling, OG, Georgia
  • Round 5: Pick 3, Overall Pick #134 -  Robert Sands, S, West Virginia
  • Round 6: Pick 2, Overall Pick #167 – Ryan Whalen, WR,  Stanford
  • Round 7: Pick 4, Overall Pick #207 – Korey Lindsay, CB, Southern Illinois
  • Round 7: Pick 43, Overall Pick #246 (Compensatory Selection) – Jay Finley, RB, Baylor

Overall Draft Grade: B-

If you were the Bengals, you had three options. First was to get a quarterback for the future, as it is clear the Carson Palmer fantasy isn’t going to happen, so it would seem Blake Gabbert was the pick here.  If Marvin Lewis is serious about going to a run-first offense, then the Bengals need depth at running back and on the offensive line; again, there was nobody in those categories worthy of a #4 overall pick. Finally, the Bengals could have chosen to build on what was a massively disappointing defense; trading down would have netted Cincinnati solid players at reduced prices as this draft is stocked with defensive talent.

But no, the Bengals decided to draft a wide receiver knowing they didn’t yet have a quarterback. Was it just me, or did A.J. Green look less than happy to get the call from what may arguably one of the worst franchises not only in the NFL, but in all of professional sports. In his defense, I would not be happy about getting a four-year sentence in Cincinnati either. The trouble is that this draft certainly gives the impression the Bengals may not be able to solve all the problems they have, but they at least know which ones they can deal with today.

8 ) Cleveland Browns

  • Round 1: Pick 21, Overall Pick #21 (From Kansas City) – Phil Taylor, DT, Baylor
  • Round 2: Pick 5, Overall Pick #37, Jabaal Sheard, DE, Pittsburgh
  • Round 2: Pick 27, Overall Pick #59 (From Atlanta) – Greg Little, WR, North Carolina
  • Round 4: Pick 5, Overall Pick #102 – Jordan Cameron, TE ,USC
  • Round 4: Pick 27, Overall Pick #124 (From Atlanta) – Owen Marecic, RB, Stanford
  • Round 5: Pick 6, Overall Pick #137 – Buster Skrine, CB, Tennessee-Chattanooga
  • Round 5: Pick 19, Overall Pick #150 (From New York Giants via Minnesota) -Jason Pinkston, OT, Pittsburgh
  • Round 7: Pick 45, Overall Pick #248 (Compensatory Selection) – Eric Hagg CB Nebraska

Overall Draft Grade: C

There is no team that really gave itself a better chance to help itself more in this draft than the Browns did. The cavalcade of trades they engineered all began when their downstate rivals in Cincinnati swiped the player the Browns had been coveting. With A.J. Green off the board, Plan B was to go with a defensive lineman, but it seems Cleveland was as leery as anybody else about Da’Quan Bowers’ knee. This was when the Browns started working the phones.

The first deal saw them trade the 6th overall pick to Atlanta in return for Atlanta’s 2011 1st round pick (27th overall), Atlanta’s 2011 2nd and 4th round picks, as well as Atlanta’s 2012 1st and 4th round picks. Then, the Browns trade the first round pick they got from Atlanta along with their 3rd round pick to Kansas City to trade up to the Chiefs 1st round pick (21st overall). The net result is from trading down, The Browns got two extra pick this year, and two extra picks next year.

The overall grade would have been even higher except the trade-up to take Phil Taylor seems like a reach. Taking Jabaal Sheard at #37 was certainly a reach. Plus, the Browns didn’t address their glaring need, which was the complete absence of a pass rush.

9) Dallas Cowboys

  • Round 1: Pick 9, Overall Pick #9 – Tyron Smith, OT, USC
  • Round 2: Pick 8, Overall Pick #40 – Bruce Carter, OLB, North Carolina
  • Round 3: Pick 7, Overall Pick #71 – DeMarco Murray, RB, Oklahoma
  • Round 4: Pick 13, Overall Pick #110 – David Arkin, OG, Missouri State
  • Round 5: Pick 12, Overall Pick #143 – Josh Thomas, CB, Buffalo
  • Round 6: Pick 1, Overall Pick #176 – Dwayne Harris, WR, East Carolina
  • Round 7: Pick 17, Overall Pick #220 (From San Diego) – Shaun Chapas, FB, Georgia
  • Round 7: Pick 49,  Overall Pick #252 (Compensatory Selection)-  Bill Nagy, C, Wisconsin

Overall Draft Grade: B

Along with the Broncos’, this is a draft class stocked with raw talent. Not only that, but this group seems to be a good fit with the existing talent, and the model we’ve seen from this franchise in the past. Carter is an athletic linebacker who can help on both pass rush and pass coverage, Murray can grow into a role on the Cowboys “running back by committee approach,” Dwayne Harris could prove to be another guy for the role of “Miles Austin-type” receiver, and Shaun Chapas could be another “Moose Johnston.” Having said that, the trouble is that the Cowboys defense was atrocious last year, and I’m hoping their plan is to address that in free agency, but in a draft so stocked with talent on the defensive side of the ball, one has to wonder about the overall approach.

10) Denver Broncos

  • Round 1: Pick 2, Overall Pick #2 – Von Miller, OLB ,Texas A&M
  • Round 2: Pick 13, Overall Pick #45 (From San Francisco) – Rahim Moore, S, UCLA
  • Round 2: Pick 14, Overall Pick #46 (From Miami) – Orlando Franklin, OG, Miami (FL)
  • Round 3: Pick 3, Overall Pick #67 – Nate Irving, ILB ,North Carolina State
  • Round 4: Pick 11, Overall Pick #108 – (From San Francisco) – Quinton Carter, S, Oklahoma
  • Round 4: Pick 32, Overall Pick #129 (From Green Bay) – Julius Thomas, TE, Portland State
  • Round 6: Pick 24, Overall Pick #189 (From New Orleans via New England) – Mike Mohamed, ILB, California
  • Round 7: Pick 1, Overall Pick #204 (From Carolina via Green Bay) – Virgil Green, TE, Nevada
  • Round 7: Pick 44, Overall Pick #247 (Compensatory Selection) – Jeremy Beal, OLB, Oklahoma

Overall Draft Grade: A

Assuming Elvis Dumervil returns from his torn pectoral injury, Miller give the Broncos the cliche “bookends” at the edge pass-rusher slot.  But I also think that’s really all Von Miller can do, unlike the linebacker the Broncos drafted in the first round last year who can also play quarterback. But based on what we know today, this class may be one the richest top-to-bottom in terms of raw talent.

11) Detroit Lions

  • Round 1: Pick 13, Overall Pick #13 – Nick Fairley, DT, Auburn
  • Round 2: Pick 12, Overall Pick #44 – Titus Young WR Boise State
  • Round 2: Pick 25, Overall Pick #57 (From Seattle) – Mikel Leshoure, RB, Illinois
  • Round 5: Pick 26, Overall Pick #157 (From Baltimore via Seattle) – Douglas Hogue, OLB, Syracuse
  • Round 7: Pick 6, Overall Pick #209 (From Cleveland via Seattle) – Johnny Culbreath, OT,  South Carolina State

Overall Draft Grade:

Happy Birthday, Jay Cutler. On the day before your special day, one of your divisional rivals literally ensured that at least twice next year, you will have a legitimate chance to be killed on the field. One of the good things the Lions have is Ndamukong Suh, and the Lions built around what may be the most dominant defensive lineman since Alan Page. Now that they’ve added Fairley to that defensive line, they get a lineman to play bookend with Suh, which is just one of many reasons why being a quarterback in the NFC may not be so fun for a while.  Plus, the bruising running style of Leshoure could make for and interesting “thunder and lightning” combination with Jahvid Best.

12) Green Bay Packers

  • Round 1: Pick 32, Overall Pick #32 – Derek Sherrod OT Mississippi State
  • Round 2: Pick 32, Overall Pick #64 -  Randall Cobb WR Kentucky
  • Round 3: Pick 32, Overall Pick #96 – Alex Green, RB, Hawaii
  • Round 4: Pick 34 Overall Pick #131 (Compensatory Selection) – Davon House, CB, New Mexico State
  • Round 5: Pick 10, Overall Pick #141 (From San Francisco via Denver) – D.J. Williams, TE, Arkansas
  • Round 6: Pick 14, Overall Pick #179 (From Miami) – Caleb Schlauderaff, OG, Utah
  • Round 6: Pick 21, Overall Pick #186 (From Philadelphia via Detroit and Denver) – D.J. Smith, OLB, Appalachian State
  • Round 6: Pick 32, Overall Pick #197 – Ricky Elmore, DE, Arizona
  • Round 7: Pick 15, Overall Pick #218 (From Jacksonville via Miami) – Ryan Taylor, TE, North Carolina
  • Round 7: Pick 30, Overall Pick #233 Lawrence Guy, DT, Arizona State

Overall Draft Grade: B

What I totally get – drafting an offensive lineman at the top. If you look at what the Lions and Bears added, it is clear that the team who keep their quarterback alive longest wins this division (except Minnesota, who now teeters on irrelevancy). What I don’t get – getting a running back, and more help on the offensive front. Running back is a thin spot for this team, and we all know how a respectable running game can help slow a pass rush.

13) Houston Texans

  • Round 1: Pick 11, Overall Pick #11 – J.J. Watt, DE, Wisconsin
  • Round 2: Pick 10, Overall Pick #42 – Brooks Reed, DE, Arizona
  • Round 2: Pick 28, Overall Pick #60 (From New England) – Brandon Harris, CB, Miami (FL)
  • Round 4: Pick 30, Overall Pick #127 (From Chicago via Washington) – Rashad Carmicheal, CB, Virginia Tech
  • Round 5: Pick 13, Overall Pick #144 (From Washington) – Shiloh Keo, CB, Idaho
  • Round 5: Pick 21, Overall Pick #152 (From Indianapolis via Washington) -Taylor Yates, QB, North Carolina
  • Round 7: Pick 11, Overall Pick #214 – Derek Newton, OT, Arkansas State
  • Round 7: Pick 51, Overall Pick #254 (Compensatory Selection) – Cheta Ozougwu, DE, Rice

Overall Draft Grade: A

The Texans are now set at D-tackle, and Watt gives them another “bookend” combination at defensive end to go with #1 overall pick Mario Williams.  Watt is a versatile defensive linemen that should excel; he’s explosive against the run and the pass, Watt has that cliche “motor that just won’t quit,”  check out the accolades on this guy:

  • Lott IMPACT Trophy for nation’s top defensive player on and off the field (2010)
  • Second-team All-American (2010)
  • All-Big Ten (2010)
  • All-Big Ten honorable mention (2009)
  • Wisconsin Team MVP (2010);
  • Finalist for Bednarik and Hendricks Awards (2010)

Watt  delivered 21 tackles for a loss in 2010, including seven sacks, and the Texans sorely need more run-stoppers; plus, the Lott award and his Academic All-American status suggests both intelligence and high character.

14) Indianapolis Colts

  • Round 1: Pick 22, Overall Pick #22 -  Anthony Castonzo, OT, Boston College
  • Round 2: Pick 17, Overall Pick #49 (From Jacksonville via Washington) – Ben Ijalana, OG, Villanova
  • Round 3: Pick 23, Overall Pick #87 – Drake Nevis, DT, LSU
  • Round 4: Pick 22, Overall Pick #119 – Delone Carter, RB, Syracuse
  • Round 6: Pick 23, Overall Pick #188 – Chris Rucker, CB, Michigan State

Overall Draft Grade: A-

The need for the Colts to establish a running game was made apparent this past season; Peyton Manning simply cannot carry this team by himself any longer. This means the Colts needed a running back and/or some offensive lineman.

15) Jacksonville Jaguars

  • Round 1:  Pick 10, Overall Pick #10 (From Washington) – Blaine Gabbert, QB, Missouri
  • Round 3: Pick 12, Overall Pick #76 (From San Francisco) – Will Rackley, OG, Lehigh
  • Round 4: Pick 17, Overall Pick #114 – Cecil Shorts, WR, Mount Union
  • Round 4: Pick 24, Overall Pick #121 (From New Orleans) – Chris Prosinski, S, Wyoming
  • Round 5: Pick 16, Overall Pick #147 – Rod Isaac, CB, Middle Tennessee State

Overall Draft Grade:  C-

This draft all comes down to Gabbert; he’s the only guy in this mix that is likely to become a difference maker.

16) Kansas City Chiefs

  • Round 1: Pick 26, Overall Pick # 26 (From Atlanta via Cleveland) Jonathan Baldwin WR Pittsburgh
  • Round 2 Pick 23 Overall Pick # 55 Rodney Hudson C Florida State
  • Round 3 Pick 6 Overall Pick # 70 (From Cleveland) Justin Houston OLB Georgia
  • Round 3 Pick 22 Overall Pick # 86 Allen Bailey DE Miami (FL)
  • Round 4 Pick 21 Overall Pick # 118 Jalil Brown CB Colorado
  • Round 5 Pick 4 Overall Pick # 135 (From Denver via Tampa Bay) Ricky Stanzi QB Iowa
  • Round 5 Pick 9 Overall Pick # 140 (From Detroit) Gabe Miller OLB Oregon State
  • Round 6 Pick 34 Overall Pick # 199 (Compensatory Selection) Jerrell Powe DT Mississippi
  • Round 7 Pick 20 Overall Pick # 223 Shane Bannon RB Yale

Overall Draft Grade:

The Chiefs are largely a young team, except along the offensive line which has a 10-year and a 15-year veteran. That was partially addressed. Another issue which was exposed in the playoff drubbing at the hands of the Ravens the the toughness of the Chiefs…this is why to me the most interesting guy in this group to me is Allen Bailey. Though he is somewhat undersized for the defensive line, Bailey features tremendous strength, speed, and athleticism. He also comes from in Georgia called Hog Hammock where he is rumored to have once killed an alligator with a shovel. How can you not love that kind of killer instinct in a defensive lineman?

17) Miami Dolphins

  • Round 1: Pick 15, Overall Pick #15 – Mike Pouncey, C, Florida
  • Round 2: Pick 30, Overall Pick #62 (From Chicago via Washington) – Daniel Thomas, RB, Kansas State
  • Round 4: Pick 14, Overall Pick #111 – Edmond Gates,  WR, Abilene Christian
  • Round 6: Pick 9, Overall Pick #174 (From Green Bay via San Francisco) – Charles Clay, FB, Tulsa
  • Round 7: Pick 28, Overall Pick #231 (From New York Jets via Detroit, San Francisco, and Green Bay) – Frank Kearse, DT, Alabama A&M
  • Round 7: Pick 32, Overall Pick # 235 (Compensatory Selection) – Jimmy Wilson, CB, Montana

Overall Draft Grade: B

The Dolphins seem to be following the old Shula model with offensive lineman  – those teams featured guys like Larry Little, Jim Langer, Bob Kuechenberg, etc…This team now has first-round linemen in Jake Long and Mike Pouncey. With the Bills adding Marcel Dareus, it’s no accident the Dolphins looked to add some heft on the offensive front.

18) Minnesota Vikings

  • Round 1: Pick 12, Overall Pick #12 – Christian Ponder, QB, Florida State
  • Round 2: Pick 11, Overall Pick #43 – Kyle Rudolph, TE, Notre Dame
  • Round 4: Pick 9, Overall Pick #106 – Christian Ballard, DT, Iowa
  • Round 5: Pick 8, Overall Pick #139 – Brandon Burton, CB, Utah
  • Round 6: Pick 3, Overall Pick #168 (From Denver via Cleveland) – DeMarcus Love, OT, Arkansas
  • Round 6: Pick 5, Overall Pick #170 (From Cleveland) – Mistral Raymond, S, South Florida
  • Round 6: Pick 7, Overall Pick #172 – Brandon Fusco, OG,  Slippery Rock
  • Round 6: Pick 35, Overall Pick #200 (Compensatory Selection) – Ross Homan, OLB, Ohio State
  • Round 7: Pick 12, Overall Pick #215 – D’Aundre Reed, DE, Arizona
  • Round 7: Pick 33 Overall Pick #236 (Compensatory Selection) – Stephen Burton, WR,  West Texas A&M

Overall Draft Grade: F

Ponder is a reach, plain and simple. The Vikings panicked when the two quarterbacks they coveted left the board, and nobody was interested in trading with them. This also isn’t the first time Vikings GM Rick Spielman has made a controversial move. In 2004 when he was with Miami, he traded their 2nd round pick to Philadelphia for AJ Feeley.

Without a quarterback, the Vikings had a few options. First, they could have taken an offensive lineman to shore up a line that outside of LG Steve Hutchinson and C John Sullivan flat-out sucks. Even Sullivan is still developing, and there were plenty of tackles who could have gone in this spot. They could have taken defensive lineman considering Ray Edwards is likely gone, the Williams’ are going to get suspended, and Jared Allen is monstrously over-rated and overpaid. Then, there’s the whole matter of taking a question mark tight end in the second round it simply beyond logic.

19) New England Patriots

  • Round 1: Pick 17, Overall Pick #17 (From Oakland) – Nate Solder, OT, Colorado
  • Round 2: Pick 1, Overall Pick #33 (From Carolina) – Ras-I Dowling, CB, Virginia
  • Round 2: Pick 24, Overall Pick #56 (From New Orleans) – Shane Vereen, RB, California
  • Round 3:  Pick 9, Overall Pick #73 (From Houston) – Stevan Ridley, RB, LSU
  • Round 3: Pick 10, Overall Pick #74 (From Minnesota) – Ryan Mallett, QB, Arkansas
  • Round 5: Pick 7, Overall Pick #138 (From Houston) – Marcus Cannon, OT, TCU
  • Round 5: Pick 28, Overall Pick #159 – Lee Smith, TE,  Marshall
  • Round 6: Pick 29, Overall Pick #194 (From New York Jets via Philadelphia) – Markell Carter, OLB, Central Arkansas
  • Round 7: Pick 16, Overall Pick #219 (From Oakland) – Malcolm Williams, CB, TCU

Overall Draft Grade:  B

Solder is mammoth even for a lineman (6’9″), and he has all the potential in the world. The Pats need younger protection for Tom Brady an escort for whichever running back they are featuring this week, and Solder could easily grow into one of the games dominant tackles. The big question is does Ryan Mallett take advantage of the gift situation to learn how to play the game at the top-level? Face it, if the guy can’t succeed in New England, where can he?

20) New Orleans Saints

  • Round 1: Pick 24, Overall Pick # 24 – Cameron Jordan, DE, California
  • Round 1:  Pick 28, Overall Pick #28  (From New England) – Mark Ingram, RB, Alabama
  • Round 3:  Pick 8, Overall Pick #72 (From Washington) – Martez Wilson, ILB, Illinois
  • Round 3: Pick 24, Overall Pick #88 – Johnny Patrick, CB, Louisville
  • Round 7: Pick 23, Overall Pick #226 – Greg Romeus, DE,  Pittsburgh
  • Round 7: Pick 40 Overall Pick #243 (Compensatory Selection) – Nate Bussey, OLB, Illinois

Overall Draft Grade: A+

What’s not to love about this draft? In a division stocked with quarterback and running backs, the Saints not only scored a potentially great runner, but selected a cast of characters to stop the other guy’s offense. Cameron Jordan is a jail-break edge-pass rusher, Martez Wilson offers  represents a good all-around option to bolster the linebacking corps around Jonathan Vilma; and Greg Romeus (if he can stay healthy) is a potential Steal of the Draft candidate.

21) New York Giants

  • Round 1: Pick 19, Overall Pick #19 – Prince Amukamara, CB, Nebraska
  • Round 2:  Pick 20, Overall Pick #52 – Marvin Austin, DT, North Carolina
  • Round 3: Pick 19, Overall Pick #83 – Jerrel Jernigan, WR, Troy
  • Round 4:  Pick 20, Overall Pick #117, James Brewer, OT, Indiana
  • Round 6: Pick 20, Overall Pick #185, Greg Jones, ILB, Michigan State
  • Round 6: Pick 33, Overall Pick #198 (Compensatory Selection) – Tyler Sash, S, Iowa
  • Round 6:  Pick 37, Overall Pick #202 (Compensatory Selection) – Jacquain Williams, OLB, South Florida
  • Round 7: Pick 18, Overall Pick #221 – Da’Rel Scott, RB, Maryland

Overall Draft Grade: D

The Giants offensive line is beginning to show its age; right now 3 of the 5 starters have been in the league 10 years or more. Waiting until the 4th round to address was a huge mistake.

22) New York Jets

  • Round 1: Pick 30, Overall Pick #30 -  Muhammad Wilkerson, DT, Temple
  • Round 3: Pick 30, Overall Pick #94 -  Kenrick Ellis, DT, Hampton
  • Round 4:  Pick 29,  Overall Pick #126 -  Bilal Powell, RB, Louisville
  • Round 5:  Pick 22, Overall Pick #153 (From Philadelphia) – Jeremy Kerley, WR, TCU
  • Round 7:  Pick 5, Overall Pick #208 (From Arizona) – Greg McElroy, QB, Alabama
  • Round 7: Pick 24, Overall Pick #227 (From Seattle via Philadelphia) – Scotty McKnight, WR, Colorado

Overall Draft Grade:  B-

The last thing the Jets need is a quarterback, but it never hurts to have a smart guy on the team, not to mention, the Jets have had good luck with Alabama quarterbacks (Joe Namath, Richard Todd).  The offensive line could have used some help, but that didn’t happen.  So, the Jets built on their built on their strength, defense.

23) Oakland Raiders

  • Round 2: Pick 16, Overall Pick #48 -  Stefan Wisniewski, OG, Penn State
  • Round 3: Pick 17, Overall Pick #81 – Demarcus Van Dyke, CB, Miami (FL)
  • Round 3: Pick 28, Overall Pick #92 (From New England) – Joseph Barksdale, OT, LSU
  • Round 4: Pick 16, Overall Pick #113 – Chimdi Chekwa, CB, Ohio State
  • Round 4: Pick 28, Overall Pick #125 (From New England) – Taiwan Jones, RB, Eastern Washington
  • Round 5: Pick 17, Overall Pick #148 – Denarius Moore, WR, Tennessee
  • Round 6: Pick 16, Overall Pick #181 – Richard Gordon, TE, Miami (FL)
  • Round 7: Pick 38, Overall Pick #241 (Compensatory Selection) – David Ausberry, WR, USC

Overall Draft Grade:  C

Somehow the Raiders ended up as an 8-8 team, and this is the kind of draft I would expect from a team that has its best season in recent memory and still fired their head coach.

24) Philadelphia Eagles

  • Round 1: Pick 23, Overall Pick #23 – Danny Watkins, OT, Baylor
  • Round 2: Pick 22, Overall Pick #54 – Jaiquawn Jarrett, S, Temple
  • Round 3: Pick 26, Overall Pick #90 (From Baltimore) – Curtis Marsh, CB, Utah State
  • Round 4:  Pick 19, Overall Pick #116 (From Tampa Bay) – Casey Matthews, ILB, Oregon
  • Round 4: Pick 23, Overall Pick #120 – Alex Henery, K, Nebraska
  • Round 5: Pick 18, Overall Pick #149 (From San Diego) – Dion Lewis, RB, Pittsburgh
  • Round 5: Pick 30, Overall Pick #161 (From New York Jets) – Julian Vandervelde, OG, Iowa
  • Round 6: Pick 26, Overall Pick #191 (From Baltimore) – Jason Kelce, OG, Cincinnati
  • Round 6: Pick 28, Overall Pick #193 (From New England) – Brian Rolle ,OLB, Ohio State
  • Round 7: Pick 34, Overall Pick #237 (Compensatory Selection) – Greg Lloyd, DE, Connecticut
  • Round 7: Pick 37, Overall Pick #240 (Compensatory Selection) – Stanley Havill FB USC

Overall Draft Grade: C-

I really don’t get this first round pick;  a 26-year old rookie on a team that loves to play Logan’s Run – free agents in Phiiladelphia don’t live long after age 30. This could have been a good spot for a quarterback of the future (Andy Dalton perhaps) Michael Vick is over the age limit and Kevin Kolb is likely trade bait.  Out of the eleven picks taken here, I would be shocked if three make the roster.

25) Pittsburgh Steelers

  • Round 1: Pick 31, Overall Pick #31-  Cameron Heyward, DE, Ohio State
  • Round 2: Pick 31, Overall Pick #63 – Marcus Gilbert, OT, Florida
  • Round 3: Pick 31, Overall Pick #95 – Curtis Brown, CB, Texas
  • Round 4: Pick 31, Overall Pick #128 – Cortez Allen, CB, Citadel
  • Round 5: Pick 31, Overall Pick #162 – Chris Carter, OLB, Fresno State
  • Round 6: Pick 31, Overall Pick #196 – Keith Williams, OG, Nebraska
  • Round 7: Pick 29, Overall Pick #232 – Baron Batch, RB, Texas Tech

Overall Draft Grade: B

This is another team which needed offensive line help, and they got it. Plus, they got a versatile 3-4 defensive end who should fit into the Steelers’ scheme perfectly.

26) San Diego Chargers

  • Round 1: Pick 18, Overall Pick #18 – Corey Liuget, DT, Illinois
  • Round 2: Pick 18, Overall Pick #50 – Marcus Gilchrist, CB, Clemson
  • Round 2: Pick 29, Overall Pick #61 (From New York Jets) – Jonas Mouton, OLB, Michigan
  • Round 3: Pick 18, Overall Pick #82 – Vincent Brown, WR, San Diego State
  • Round 3: Pick 25, Overall Pick # 89 (From Seattle) – Shareece Wright, CB, USC
  • Round 6: Pick 18, Overall Pick #183 – Jordan Todman, RB, Connecticut
  • Round 6: Pick 36,  Overall Pick #201 (Compensatory Selection) – Steve Schilling, OG, Michigan
  • Round 7: Pick 31, Overall Pick #234 (Compensatory Selection) – Andrew Gachkar, OLB, Missouri

Overall Draft Grade: C

The Chargers needed help in the defensive front seven, and Liuget fits that bill as a guy who made his name as a defender who is often “unblockable.” He is versatile and can play nose tackle in passing situations.

27) San Francisco 49ers

  • Round 1: Pick 7, Overall Pick #7 – Aldon Smith OLB Missouri
  • Round 2: Pick 4, Overall Pick #36 (From Denver) – Colin Kaerpernick, QB, Nevada
  • Round 3: Pick 16, Overall Pick #80 (From Jacksonville) – Chris Culliver ,CB, South Carolina
  • Round 4: Pick 18, Overall Pick #115 (From San Diego) -  Kendall Hunter, RB, Oklahoma State
  • Round 5: Pick 32, Overall Pick #163 (From Green Bay) – Daniel Kilgore, OG, Appalachian State
  • Round 6: Pick 17, Overall Pick #182 (From Jacksonville) – Ronald Johnson, WR, USC
  • Round 6: Pick 25, Overall Pick #190 (From Seattle) – Colin Jones, S, TCU
  • Round 7: Pick 8, Overall Pick #211 – Bruce Miller, DE,  Central Florida
  • Round 7: Pick 36, Overall Pick #239 (Compensatory Selection) – Mike Person, OT, Montana State
  • Round 7: Pick 47, Overall Pick #250 (Compensatory Selection) – Curtis Holcomb CB Florida A&M

Overall Draft Grade:

Aldon Smith will fit perfectly into 49ers 3-4 scheme. The glaring need this team had was at quarterback; and short of grabbing one when free-agency becomes available, Kaerpernick offers an interesting option for the future.

28) Seattle Seahawks

  • Round 1: Pick 25, Overall Pick #25 – James Carpenter,OT, Alabama
  • Round 3: Pick 11, Overall Pick #75 (From Detroit) – John Moffitt, OG, Wisconsin
  • Round 4: Pick 2, Overall Pick #99 (From Denver via New England) – K.J. Wright, OLB, Mississippi State
  • Round 4: Pick 10, Overall Pick #107 (From Detroit) – Kris Dunham, WR, Georgia
  • Round 5:  Pick 23, Overall Pick #154 (From Kansas City via Detroit) – Richard Sherman, CB, Stanford
  • Round 5: Pick 25, Overall Pick #156 – Mark Legree, S, Appalachian State
  • Round 6: Pick 8, Overall Pick #173 (From Detroit) – Byron Maxwell, CB, Clemson
  • Round 7: Pick 2,  Overall Pick #205 (From Denver via Detroit) – Lazarius Levingston, DE,  LSU
  • Round 7: Pick 39, Overall Pick #242 (Compensatory Selection) – Malcolm Smith, OLB, USC

Overall Draft Grade: F

The Carpenter pick would be the reach of the first round were it not for the Vikings’ pick of Ponder.

29) St. Louis Rams

  • Round 1: Pick 14, Overall Pick #14 – Robert Quinn, DE, North Carolina
  • Round 2: Pick 15, Overall Pick #47 – Lance Kendricks, TE, Wisconsin
  • Round 3: Pick 14, Overall Pick #78 – Austin Pettis, WR, Boise State
  • Round 4: Pick 15, Overall Pick #112 – Greg Salas,WR, Hawaii
  • Round 5: Pick 27, Overall Pick #158 (From Atlanta) – Jermale Hines, S, Ohio State
  • Round 7: Pick 13, Overall Pick #216 -Mikail Baker, CB, Baylor
  • Round 7: Pick 25, Overall Pick #228 (From Baltimore) – Jabara Williams, OLB, Stephen F. Austin
  • Round 7: Pick 26, Overall Pick #229 (From Atlanta) – Jonathan Nelson, CB, Oklahoma

Overall Draft Grade: B+

The Rams’ offense has a young quarterback who shows all the signs of being the real deal, having been named Offensive Rookie of the Year. It also boasts the only running back in the NFL to rush for 1,000 yards in each of the last six seasons. Going defense wasn’t a bad idea for the top of this draft.

30) Tampa Bay Buccaneers

  • Round 1:  Pick 20, Overall Pick #20 – Adrian Clayborn, DE, Iowa
  • Round 2: Pick 19, Overall Pick #51 – Da’Quan Bowers, DE, Clemson
  • Round 3: Pick 20, Overall Pick #84  – Mason Foster, OLB, Washington
  • Round 4: Pick 7, Overall Pick #104 (From Washington via Philadelphia) – Luke Stocker, TE, Tennessee
  • Round 5: Pick 20,  Overall Pick #151 – Ahmad Black, S, Florida
  • Round 6: Pick 22, Overall Pick #187 (From Kansas City) – Allen Bradford, RB, USC
  • Round 7: Pick 19, Overall Pick #222 – Anthony Gaitor, CB, Florida International
  • Round 7: Pick 35 Overall Pick #238  (Compensatory Selection) – Daniel Hardy, TE, Idaho

Overall Draft Grade: B

In a division loaded with quarterbacks, it clearly seems as though the Bucs’ philosophy was to load up on guys who can hit a quarterback.

31) Tennessee Titans

  • Round 1: Pick 8, Overall Pick #8 – Jake Locker, QB, Washington
  • Round 2: Pick 7, Overall Pick #39 – Akeem Ayers, OLB, UCLA
  • Round 3: Pick 13, Overall Pick #77 – Jurrell Casey, DT, USC
  • Round 4: Pick 12, Overall Pick #109 – Colin McCarthy, OLB, Miami (FL)
  • Round 4: Pick 33, Overall Pick #130 (Compensatory Selection) – Jamie Harper, RB, Clemson
  • Round 5: Pick 1,1 Overall Pick #142 – Karl Klug, DT, Iowa
  • Round 6: Pick 10, Overall Pick #175 – Byron Stingily, OT, Louisville
  • Round 7: Pick 9, Overall Pick #212 – Zach Clayton, DT, Auburn
  • Round 7: Pick 48, Overall Pick #251 (Compensatory Selection) – Tommie Campbell, S, Califfornia (Pa)

Overall Draft Grade: C

This pick really frightened me, because there were so many options, and the chance to make a HUGE mistake.  They could have added some heft to an offensive line that could lead the way for Chris Johnson, since this team isn’t likely to have a quarterback. They could have gotten in on the swarm of defensive linemen available. All in all, I don’t think the Locker pick is that HUGE mistake, but rushing him into the starting role will be.

32) Washington Redskins

  • Round 1: Pick 16, Overall Pick #16 (From Jacksonville) – Ryan Kerrigan, DE, Purdue
  • Round 2: Pick 9, Overall Pick #41 – Jarvis Jenkins, DT, Clemson
  • Round 3: Pick 15, Overall Pick #79 (From Miami) – Leonard Hankerson, WR, Miami (FL)
  • Round 4: Pick 8, Overall Pick #105 – Roy Helu, RB, Nebraska
  • Round 5: Pick 15, Overall Pick #146 (From Miami) – Dejon Gomes, S, Nebraska
  • Round 5: Pick 24, Overall Pick #155 (From New Orleans) – Niles Paul, WR, Nebraska
  • Round 6: Pick 12, Overall Pick #177 – Evan Royster, RB, Penn State
  • Round 6: Pick 13, Overall Pick #178 (From Houston) – Aldrick Robinson, WR, SMU
  • Round 7: Pick 10, Overall Pick #213 – Brandyn Thompson, CB, Boise State
  • Round 7: Pick 14, Overall Pick #217 (From Miami) – Maurice Hurt, OG, Florida
  • Round 7: Pick 21, Overall Pick #224 (From Indianapolis) – Markus White, DE, Florida State
  • Round 7: Pick 50 Overall Pick #253 (Compensatory Selection) – Chris Neild, DT, West Virginia

Overall Draft Grade: ?

I’m not even sure how to grade this, not because of the players selected, but because I tend to use the standard of how much will the players selected impact their teams two years from now. To be honest, between Daniel Snyder and Mike Shanahan, this organization has reached a Raider-like level of dysfunction, and I’m not sure if any players can help that as long as both of those guys are part of this organization.








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