Guest Column: Joe McGrath on the Olympics

Editor’s Note: Mr. McGrath has long and storied history in the management of professional sports franchises, most notably as the general manager of the Charlestown Chiefs of the now-defunct Federal League. Oh, and this is probably a good time to mention that Mr. McGrath’s views are his own, and do not necessarily reflect those of Dubsism, our staff, or anybody else whose house you might want to burn to the ground.

So, I’m in the doctor’s office the other day, and I’m flipping through the magazines while I’m waiting. I come across an article talking about how South Africa wants to get the Summer Olympics.

My first thought was “Jesus H. Christ…didn’t you assholes learn anything from the World Cup?” Then I realized who I’m dealing with. Yeah, I know FIFA is run a bunch of European sandal-wearing ovary-boys, but they look like John Fucking Wayne compared to those noodle-wrists at the IOC.

Then as I was looking another article telling me about what a great guy former South African president Nelson Mandela, it dawned on me. These people don’t want to learn anything; this is all just another exercise in that “politically correct” bullshit.

Face it. The only way you could even think about having another major sporting event in a crime-ridden shit-hole like South Africa is to completely ignore what a disaster the World Cup was. While the world was busy fellating Mandela (the World Cup preview edition of Time magazine was at my doctor’s office; it says “Nelson Mandela is the most important person and greatest human on the planet”), it was very easy to ignore the realities of the World Cup.

Reality number one is that nobody showed up.  I know I’ve  said that before, but it’s true. FIFA literally had to give away close to 750,000 tickets to keep all those soccer stadiums from looking nearly empty.  Even the majority of the tickets they sold were to locals, which is not how you rake other people’s money into your local economy.

Sure, you can try to find stories about the crime that continues to run wild in South Africa, but they are largely limited to these “blog” things, whatever the hell a “blog” is, because the regular media has Mandela’s dick so far down their throats they have to squat every time he needs to pee. I’m an old hockey man, which means I don’t know a whole hell of a lot about this Internet thing. So I had one of my grandkids do a little “googling” for me. Again, don’t ask what the fuck that means, but here’s what the kid found.

Statistics released by the South African Police Service showed that between April 2008 and March 2009, this country of 48 million million people had 18,148 murders and 70,514 sexual crimes. By comparison, the United States, with a population of 300 million, had 14,180 murders and 89,000 sexual crimes in 2008. This probably explains why most civilized neighborhoods in South Africa look like an American gated community on steroids.

Any house that looks it has more than thirty US dollars worth of stuff in it needs prison walls around it to keep the scumbags out. Who the hell is going to go to a country where the civilized side of the wall needs motion detectors linked to alarm systems and illuminated by spotlights, and windows with bars, and doors with  multiple locks?

The fact is the murder rate in South Africa is eight times higher than that of the USA. In Gauteng, a province that’s home to 10.5 million people and the World Cup host cities Johannesburg and Pretoria, there were 1,940 violent crimes reported for every 100,000 people in 2008. Detroit stands as the shining example in this country of what happens when you let the inmates run the asylum, yet the violent crime rate in Michigan, which has roughly the same population as Gauteng, was nearly one-fourth that number.

What does all that shit mean? It means that “political correctness” is such bullshit that nobody will admit that Nelson Mandela was little more than a commie bum who brought little more than an era of  unprecedented crime, murder and mayhem to South Africa. It also means that while nobody in their right minds would ever dream of holding the Olympics in an unflushed toilet like Detroit, the world will beat a path to the door of a cesspool if it was founded by a “politically correct” dipshit.

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