Guest Column: Joe McGrath on the World Cup

Editor’s Note: Mr. McGrath has long and storied history in the management of professional sports franchises, most notably as the general manager of the Charlestown Chiefs of the now-defunct Federal League. Oh, and this is probably a good time to mention that Mr. McGrath’s views are his own, and do not necessarily reflect those of Dubsism, our staff, or anybody else whose house you might want to burn to the ground.

I suppose you were expecting an old-time hockey guy to say something about the Chicago Blackhawks finally winning the  Stanley Cup for the first time in damn near 50 years. Well, screw the Blackhawks. I remember one time when I was coaching in Omaha in the ’50s and I had a chance to get Bobby Hull, but those damn Blackhawks took him to Chicago, got him a $20 whore, and the rest is history.

Screw all of Chicago for that matter. That is a city that has been run by people who let it go to complete shit. They must all have been terrible masturbators.  That is also why I can’t figure out why the hell they are having this World Cup thing in South Africa. Just like Chicago, it is also a crime-ridden rat-hole, but at least Chicago isn’t 5,000 miles away from the closest civilized country.

I mean, it’s one thing to have a sporting event in a shitpile; lord knows Charlestown wasn’t exactly the French fuckin’ Riviera, but at least we didn’t have to get on a plane for 43 goddamn hours to get to Peterborough.  See, the whole point is to get people to show up, and you have to do these things where the fans will travel to. Nobody wants to travel halfway around the damn world just to get raped by a water buffalo or robbed by a guy with a bone in his nose. That’s why they couldn’t sell any damn tickets; they are still trying to sell them at give-away prices.

As far as the game goes, I don’t really understand this soccer game, but it seems enough like hockey that I can follow it. There’s a goal, there’s lines, and offsides. What else do you really need? But what I really don’t understand is the Mexican team. I mean, where the hell did they find 11 Mexicans who can run who didn’t already run across the damn border?

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2 responses

  1. […] number one is that nobody showed up.  I know I’ve  said that before, but it’s true. FIFA literally had to give away close to 750,000 tickets to keep all those […]

  2. […] For the life of me, I can’t understand how you guys do this.  Did you hire consultants from FIFA? Those guys could screw up a grilled cheese sandwich, and they keep finding new ways to do it.  At […]

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